Asked by Marc in the comments of this post:
Don’t you think integrity is important for a Christian then? It sounds like you don’t think it’s important.
If that’s the impression I gave in that post, then, wow, I really wasn’t clear enough. I did say this in that comment thread, although perhaps it was overlooked:
I think valuing one’s integrity is important. Value it to the point that it’s too sacred to speak of or advertise. It’s something others should say of a person, not something they should say of themselves.
So that’s my opinion, in brief, on the integrity issue. And that’s my opinion across the board, Christian or no. Hope that clears up any confusion.
Must have hit a nerve.
Responses like that usually come from uneasy recognition rather than open offense.
I don’t know how I hit these nerves when I’m not even trying.
It’s because you’re speaking against the monolithic group dynamic. You are NOT saying ALL Christians are like this – but those who believe the group must be a monolith will see your simple and eloquent observations as deeply threatening – and the problem must be with YOU, not with Christians who are socially incompetent and idiotic. It shows an unwillingness to call a spade a spade – AS LONG as the member you are criticizing is supposedly part of that monolith.
The GROUP must be protected AT ALL COSTS.
It’s ridiculous -but that’s what I see in such moments (and you experience it a lot!!)
I think you’re right on there. It’s as if you’re “not allowed to go against the collective.” And, no, I’m not saying all Christians are like this, but some are, and, well, I think negative modeling can be a learning experience just as much as positive modeling. I’m not coming down on the faith — it’s MY faith, too. And I try to be honest here about my own flaws and own up to blind spots …. uhm, once I finally see them. I have no interest in just sitting back and being a finger pointer — I’ve got issues, too, and if Marc sticks around long enough, I imagine he’ll see me talk about them.
But if Christians come to my blog hoping to see me sugarcoat things or act like a Pollyanna, they’re going to discover they’re on the wrong blog — pretty quickly.
I call them the “smiley-faced Christians.” Strange, but I don’t interpret their smiles as benign – I see them as actually and actively malevolent.
Anyone who thinks the group must be protected at all costs (no matter someone’s personal experience) is dangerous – politically, socially, religiously – whatever. Run for the hills.
You’ve experienced those types, as have I.
Scary stuff.
I think I have to go with Sheila on this. I’m quite pleased you pulled it out and set it here, Tracey. I mean, two days after everything else… after everyone else knew exactly what you were saying and how you truly feel about integrity… suddenly THIS pops up? Did he think he was going to somehow sneak it in there? Kind of says something right there. It’s willfully blind and more than a touch accusatory. You’ve been very graceful to him, Tracey.
“too sacred to speak of”–that is an awesome thing to say, Tracey. In this age of no “dead air,” fill-every-space-with-noise, direct feeds of information. . . not speaking of something is unheard of. And uncomfortable for lots of people.
I’m almost of the mind that marc under-read your post. Came from a simpler state of mind or perspective. You know how some people have a hard time getting irony or deadpan humor?
You have a wonderful complexity to your intellectual and spiritual sides and that can be hard for some people to understand, especially in a digital medium.
NF and Kate P — Well, thanks you guys. Yeah. I think “under-reading” the post is a real possibility. It’s like it was just skimmed. Ah, well.
It is much like Margaret Thatcher’s sentiments in regards to power:
“Being powerful is like being a lady.
If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t.”
If you have to TELL people you have integrity, I simply don’t believe you do.
The same could be said of many qualities which are beautiful to behold but all too rare – Humility. Compassion. Grace. People who make a big show of letting you know they possess them almost never, in fact, do.
And I think it takes great courage to be openly critical of a group that you are in some sense a part of or associated with. It is far easier for someone who does not share a belief to say, “I see these problems as being pervasive amongst members of YOUR faith.” It takes great bravery to say, “This is MY faith and it is valuable and holy to me, and yet I see this problem as being all-too-common with people who, theoretically, share my faith.” I admire the fortitude that requires.