Why is it “ham” and “pork” and “bacon” and “sausage” when it’s delicious but suddenly “swine” when it’s deadly?
It’s not even “pig”; it’s SWINE.
Is this just human nature?
Like when your beloved is “honey” and “sweetie” and “baby and “lovey” but once they break your heart, they’re suddenly “that bastard”?
Or …. “that swine.”
Just wondering is all.
So is swine the worst thing you can be?
No. The worst thing would be to be a “silly English kuh-niggit.”
You’re welcome.
No, I’m not drunk tonight, BTW. Sometimes I’m loopy all on my own.
hahahahahaha Tracey – that is such a funny and true observation.
Because if they called it “pork flu,” there’d be even more people freaking out and believing you could get it from bacon?
I dunno. I suppose “swine” is probably some kind of historical farming term…kind of like how I sound like the total non-farming idiot I am when I call cattle “cows,” maybe you’re actually supposed to call pigs, “swine.”
All I know is that my son is about to cause another mass hysteria. He announced to me this week: “Mom, I’m not drinking wine anymore because I don’t want to catch wine flu!” We’re really in trouble if we ever get to wine flu. I think I might just have to get sick over that one.
I think a bunch of the people around me have already come down with the “whine” flu. It hits at the end of every semester.
I keep seeing a curly-mustached villain from an old silent movie – tying up a damsel in distress on the train tracks – and you see her shouting something up at him, and then you see what she says, “YOU SWINE.”
I think I need to bring it back into vogue. Not in correlation with the flu, but as a nice ringing insult.
“You swine. Why don’t you stand up and let the old lady sit down on the subway?”
“Excuse me, swine, but please don’t use such a rude tone with me.”
“Listen, swine, I don’t know who you think you’re dealing with, but I am actually a very nice person!”
sheila — Yes, I want you to bring it back. Add that to your list of things to do, please.
Several years back, a group of our friends started calling each other “cow” — these were women and men, both — and it was all very affectionate. Very loving and chummy. Not a comment on a person’s size or energy levels or anything. It just …. was. I think I started it, calling one of them “cow” in this weird voice out of the blue one day. And you couldn’t say it without the weird voice; oh, no. THAT would have been very offensive. The way in which you said “COW” was key to the whole exchange.
I think “cow” is used as a mild (in some cases, perhaps almost affectionate) insult in Britain. “Trout” is actually worse. (As in “you old trout.”)
I’ve referred to myself as a “cow” (privately) but sadly, it’s never been affectionately.
Tracey – I love that the insult had to be said in the weird voice. The way in which one calls another person “cow” is of course the main thing. Because you could so easily get it wrong.
This is sort of related but in college, my friend Brooke and I (for some forgotten reason) began to refer to each other as “swordfish”. “Swordfish, wanna grab some coffee?” “Hey, Swordfish, you need a ride?”
And like you and your friends calling each other “cow” – we HAD to say it in a weird voice. The “swordfish” had to be said in a nasally adenoidal almost incomprehensible voice, way way back up inside your head – like you had a wicked head cold … and there needed to be vestiges of a hoity-toity British accent there somewhere.
I wish I could remember the genesis of this … we actually still call each other “swordfish” on occasion, even though we can’t remember how it all began in the first place.
When Gordon Ramsay calls people “cow” on his show, it’s hardly mild! But I think he may be the exception… When he really gets going he makes “hello” sound challenging.
I’m calling everybody “swine”, “cow” and “swordfish” from now on. “Swordfish” is the wild card. People won’t know if I am insulting or praising them.
Uhm … did she just call me “swordfish”?
“Yo, swordfish, could I get some sugar in my coffee please? Thanks so much!”
I definitely call myself “swordfish” in the privacy of my own home.
sheila — Hahahahaha. I love that. “Cow” had to be said almost like a growl, with heavy emphasis on the “oww” part of it. It almost didn’t matter what you said next. You could just say that, NAIL it, then say, “Good night! Thank you! You’ve been great!”
NF — I don’t watch him often, but I have a bit of a crush on that abusive bastard. It’s sick.
/I definitely call myself “swordfish†in the privacy of my own home. /
Hahahahaha. Well, your home is your castle.
Well, and at least “swordfish”, however bizarre, isn’t strictly an insult – because I really really try not to insult myself in my own home when I’m by myself.
That’s far too much like sleeping with the enemy.
A swordfish may have a deadly pointy-face … but if you say it in a fond manner, it can be quite comforting.
But then again, I am crazy.
I should make the swordfish a member of The Club of Curious Friends.
Ohhhh!!!! Not to beg or plead – but yes!!
Yes, pleeeease on the swordfish in the club. And I’m so going to join you on the swine thing, sheila.