A snippet — without editorial comment, although it’s tempting.
A bride-to-be with her groom-to-be meeting with a florist a few tables away. The bride wears giant hoop earrings — Tyra Banks would tell her she “needs to lose those.” The groom ogles me and basically every woman that walks past him.
FLORIST: Give me three words to describe your wedding.
(silence)
GROOM: Well, fun …. and ….. well …
(longer silence)
FLORIST: Okay. That’s good. What’s the size of the bridal party?
BRIDE: Twelve.
FLORIST: Okay.
GROOM: Seven guys and five girls.
FLORIST: Do you have a theme?
BRIDE: (sadly) No.
FLORIST: Oh. Hm. Okay.
BRIDE: But the girls are in red so they should have white flowers and I’m in white so I should have red flowers.
FLORIST: Okay. Any flowers you particularly like?
BRIDE: Noo … I dunno ….. I’m open …
FLORIST: Okay. Why don’t you look through this book of samples then?
(they do so — several moments pass)
BRIDE: Do lilies come in any other color besides white?
FLORIST: (eyes wide) Uh, yes.
(another long pause of perusal)
GROOM: The guys are all wearing red vests.
FLORIST: Oh. Okay.
About 20 minutes later, the couple walk to their car, far apart, not holding hands, not touching.
Oooh, I just want to shake her and get in her face and urge her to run, don’t walk, away from this wedding!!!
GraD — I know, I really had to fight that. They had an odd vibe together. His ogling didn’t help.
I love (and by love, I mean hate) how the bride says “I’m open.”
Ya are???
You just know something bad’s gonna go down at his bachelor party. If they get that far.
That idea that a wedding should have a theme drives me up a wall.
I’m with Kate- I see drunken phone calls cancelling the wedding.
True story:
Middle d. was working for a school friend who had opened a high concept florist shop in a gentrified part of Dallas.
One of their clients had a sad tale of how her folks were refusing to pay one cent towards her wedding. There was much sympathy.
Christmas Eve- Client is invited over to fiance’s family’s house. It is suggested that they all play a game: ‘Everybody take off all your jewelry and put it in the middle of the table.’ Client thinks this is rather odd, but obliges. Fiance’s mom offers to clean her ring for her. Mom disappears into another part of the house with the ring, at which point, the other family members manhandled Client out of the house into the cold.
The engagement, it seemed, was off.
Merry Christmas!
Turns out the last time they broke up, her parents had sworn that if they ever got back together there would be NO support of any kind for their union.
So, kiddies, Mom and Dad might know a thing or two you don’t.
sheila — Yes, I truly judged her for the fact that she had no opinions about flowers at all. Or anything, for that matter.
Sal — How odd.
I’m judging her for the fact that she doesn’t know lilies come in colors other than white.
Sal – holy smokes, that is harsh.