college students at the bookstore

A group of eight San Diego State University students seated several feet away at three tables they’ve pushed together. They’re doing some kind of group project — the dreaded group project. I eavesdrop, as I am wont to do, and learn it’s some kind of marketing assignment. They’re supposed to be an ad agency, I guess — everyone with his or her jobs and titles within this pretend agency, and it seems they’ve been told the pretend client they’re pitching sells air-freshening type products.

Okay. That’s the basic set-up for all the eavesdropping that follows.

A collection of what I heard:

~ Okay. We need to emphasize that we are innovative and traditional.

~ Am I the Account Executive? I wanna be the Account Executive, okay?

~ Well, maybe we could share that. Can we share?

~ Well …..

(Hahaha. That was the Alpha Male and Alpha Female of the group. Basically, the only ones talking.)

~ We need to acknowledge the challenge of our competitors. Make sure we talk about them.

~ Well, don’t talk about them TOO much!

~ (to a girl who hasn’t spoken) Do you wanna join the group or what?

~ Remember: The brand is the product. The brand is the product!

~ I think we should focus that our experience is that we’re young innovative professionals with fresh ideas.

(Verbatim there.)

~ Okay. I think we should show two guys: One is good-looking but his room stinks. The other is a total dork, but his room smells good. And the dork gets all the girls.

~ Are we gonna do a skit?

~ Yeah! We should do a skit!

~ Our expertise is that we’re professional.

~ Shannon, you’re Media Director.

~ I wanna be AE!

~ Sorry.

~ We need to focus on three things: our experience, that we’re on top of trends, that our competitors do things but we do them better.

~ Oh! And we need to make sure the client knows that WE choose. Our agency picks and chooses. WE choose YOU.

~ For the presentation, let’s wear suits and flip flops!

~ I think we should do it extemporaneously.

~ (to two students not contributing) You guys are copywriters, okay?

~ (shrug) Okay.

~ Sure. The other agencies will show you their stuff, but will they show you everything?

~ Okay. On Tuesday, me and her will write the copy.

~ (as they’re leaving) I really like us.

~ Me too.

~ We rock.

You know, I don’t know why people say SDSU is a laughingstock among colleges.

I am completely baffled.

13 Replies to “college students at the bookstore”

  1. “innovative and traditional. ”

    Oh my, they have TOTALLY got the marketing “line” down there. They should all get automatic As because only true marketers can do that level of nonsense with a straight face.

    That scene you just posted is why I don’t assign group work in my classes.

  2. It was hilarious how earnest they were about it all. I kind of liked the whole smelly room idea. I mean, I actually laughed out loud on that one and had to make it look like I was laughing at something MB had said — and he wasn’t even talking.

  3. How did you not bust out laughing at the “WE choose YOU” part?

    (in embarrassed voice) I’m pretty sure the last group project I was in last spring involved some “we rock” talk on the discussion board. And we’re, um, librarians now.

  4. I almost marched over to their table in a huff to tell the two “copywriters” that they simply could NOT write copy if they could NOT use pronouns properly.

    Oh, and Kate P? I did laugh. I laughed the entire time, trying to hide my face from them. MB just ignores me now. I sat there shaking with laughter and writing all of my eavesdropping notes in teeny-weeny print on a Cloth Paper Scissors subscription card.

    They may be naive but I am a weirdo.

  5. Actually, it was more like, “We wrote a lesson plan unit that made our real-life 7th grade tester totally miserable! We’re gonna get an ‘A’ for sure!”

    I do mental blog narration in my head while in the midst of some crazy situation–you know, those “this is SO going on the blog” moments.

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