featuring: my idiocy

So look. I called the Gas and Electric Company Friday to switch service to our new place. Uhm, who knew they required five days’ notice? I did not. So basically, I went catatonic after completing their 10-page online cross-examination, submitting blood, urine, and stool samples, doing retinal, bone density, and MRI scans and proving that I could accurately repeat the presidential oath of office, but no. No service for you on Monday. Sorry.

We now have, until Thursday, two places.

BUT: One place has power and no furniture; the other place has furniture and no power. I did this. Me. All by myself. And so now we’re supposed to choose? Like Sophie’s Choice? Power or furniture?

I cannot choose! I cannot choose!

I am an idiot. I am not informed about the basics of life. I guess everyone knows this 5-day thing? It’s a given? Like “Don’t mix reds with whites in laundry and don’t forget to give the gas and electric company 5 days’ notice when you need to switch service”?

So what are we doing, you ask? We are escaping both junkyards and going to the closest cheapest motel we can find to just forget about everything for one stupid night and have ourselves some reckless screaming foreclosure sex.

Take that, Sophie’s Choice and SDG&E.

Take THAT.

11 Replies to “featuring: my idiocy”

  1. I think a hotel/motel in this case is a perfect idea. (Do what you will while you are in there).

    Thursday will come soon enough.

    And I think Cullen’s “deserve to have some” was self-explanatory.

  2. I did that once with one of our moves. Called the gas company thinking they’d just turn over the existing service from the previous occupant’s name to our name. Oh, nooooooo. They had to have a man come out, shut off the gas, read the meter, then turn it on in our name. So for four days, we had no hot water. We had to heat water on the stove LIKE PIONEERS.

  3. Cullen- “have some and relax”- ha ha ha! That’s classic! And Tracey, I echo everyone- screw the power company…wait, no…it would be MB, wouldn’t it?? (Bah dum ching!)

  4. Whoops. I had no idea either–of course, if you try to do it far enough in advance while you’re thinking of it, they tell you it’s too early. It’s a racket.

    Cullen: BEST TYPO EVER.

  5. I agree with Kate, Cullen…that IS the best typo ever.

    And I also agree with Cullen…you do deserve to “have some and relax.” I do believe something good will come from all this crap you have been dealt. It might as well start with “reckless screaming foreclosure sex.”

    Find fun where you can.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *