The adorable sarahk and I have an ongoing email discussion about, oh, you know, Twilight and Edward’s butterscotch eyes and my pathetic life and how we both want to kick 2008 IN THE NADS. Hahahaha.
That is the phrase now:
I WANT TO KICK 2008 IN THE NADS!!
I truly appreciate, too, that sarahk would like to kick 2008 in the nads on my behalf. She’s quite a girl, that sarahk. And if anyone COULD kick 2008 in the nads, it would be sarahk.
You know, it occurs to me that if my family had just said THAT — WE WANT TO KICK 2008 IN THE NADS — there’d be no need for the post below.
It also occurs to me that they would never say that … um, because of “nads,” so, well, keep dreamin’, Trace.
Finally, it occurs to me that while I WANT TO KICK 2008 IN THE NADS, I DO, so far, it must be said that the first two weeks of my January have laid a really unpromising turd in the New Year’s punchbowl.
But, whatevs, I want this post to be about sharing the joy of kicking something in the nads.
So please feel free to share something you would like to KICK IN THE NADS right now!
It could be 2008.
I could be Katie Couric and her Peter Pan haircut.
It could be people obsessed with Twilight.
But it’d better not be ……
Proceed apace, nad kickers.
You are too kind, Tracey. Too kind.
Along with 2008, I want to KICK AMERICAN IDOL IN THE NADS! Because they have a new judge, and her name is not SarahK.
I want to kick the Worst TV Show in the World IN THE NADS. And the creepy “Reborn” dolls. Maybe I can combine it and smash a Reborn doll into Real’s and Chance’s nads…
Considering the Best Blog Game Ever, I should probably spell it “kick’d in the nads,” ’cause that’s how the Last Steward of Gondor rolls, yo. Kick’d in the nads, with a sword.
I want to kick cancer in the nads.
NF — What is The Worst TV Show in the World? And Reborn dolls? Which, ugh, sound gross to me. Please enlighten so that I may join in the nad kicking.
Actually …. I JOIN IN ALL THIS NAD KICKING, RIGHT NOW!
Oh, I want to kick Countrywide in the nads.
Thank you.
I’ve been missing my mom, so I’m joining Sheila in wanting to kick cancer in the nads.
If I run across Countrywide, I’ll give them an extra kick for you Tracey.
I’d also like to kick the forecast in the nads ~ Low of -17, high tomorrow of -2. BRRR!
I would LOVE to join you in kicking 2008 in the nads…especially the last two weeks of it (for me personally) but the whole darned thing for so many people I care about (including you, Tracey).
I will also second the kicks to cancer, Countrywide and the Reborn dolls.
Also to kick in the nads…unemployment, large plumbing bills and the massive heart attack that stole my 42 year-old cousin away on Christmas day.
I third the kick-in-the-nads to Cancer… my 61-year-old daddy is in isolation at a hospital in Dallas right now taking chemo for multiple myeloma.
And I wish to kick Bipolar Disorder in the nads because it’s been making my family’s life hellacious for fourteen years and destroying the future for a beautiful fourteen-year-old girl.
Finally, I would like to give a ginormous nad-kick to whoever did the electrical wiring in this house.
BTW, if I win the lottery, Trace, dear, I’m buying you a new house. The whole thing sucks balls, as Cartman would so eloquently say.
GraD — I didn’t know about your dad. I am so sorry. And your daughter — (it’s your daughter, right?) You have a lot of burdens to carry, my dear. I want to kick them all in the nads right now.
I second all of this nad-kicking here, except the Reborn dolls, because I don’t know what those are.
Oh, I would gladly put on my field boots – the ones with the big, heavy soles – and kick 2008 in the ‘nads, HARD.
I’d also like to kick the local morning news show in the ‘nads, because instead of showing the WEATHER and the LOCAL NEWS, they are (already) doing “free advertising” puff pieces for florists about Valentine’s Day. And that can just suck it. I don’t need to hear about Valentine’s Day a month before it is set to occur and I sure don’t need the show I am watching in the hopes of learning whether my boogers will freeze when I walk out of the front door showing me pink and red teddy bears and reminding me Why I Am A Loser Because I Don’t Have A Boyfriend.
“Reborn” dolls are the latest thing for people who wish to avoid reality – though as G-Dazz said in my comments, it’s possibly for the better that some of these folks don’t have real offspring to ruin. Trust me, though, you want to kick them in the nads.
The Worst TV Show in the World is called “Real Chance for Love,” one of VH-1’s train-wreck reality programs. Real and Chance are brothers, wanna-be gangsta rap “talents,” who are going through a bevy of lasses whose collective mental wattage couldn’t run a toaster for five minutes. Ladybug stumbled across it and after the first ten minutes, DVR’d the rest, and said “You have got to see this, it’s the most horrible thing ever.” Then we watched the rest together as it got twelve times more horrible – the challenge involved staging an obviously-staged fight at a bar, having one brother “arrested,” and then hiding in a room to see which of the girls would lie convincingly enough to the “police” to keep said brother from the clink.
I wholeheartedly endorse the kicking of cancer, heart attacks, bipolar disorder, and the rest… and there’s a defunct Countrywide office not ten minutes from my house, so I can kick that in person for y’all, if you like.
Even though my dad totally and ruthlessly kicked cancer in the ‘nads in 2008, so many other wonderful people didn’t, and that sucks big hairy donkey balls. More Cancer ‘Nad Kicking in 2009!!!!!!!
NF — Oh, okay. Now I know what those are. I saw them on Dateline or something, but I didn’t remember what they were called. Well, as a childless woman, I can kind of understand the desire and the sorrow that motivates a woman to purchase these; ON THE OTHER HAND, how much does that woman want to sacrifice her grip on reality just to PRETEND to fill the gaping hole? I’m too protective of my feeble grip to EVER go that far. You are basically saying to the world, “I am gleefully flinging away my sanity to be a ‘mom’ to this super freakay plastic doll.”
No. So I agree. I kick THAT whole dealio in the NADS. Also, I kick infertility in the NADS on behalf of all infertile couples.
Although, just to be clear, I am not kicking any infertile person in the nads because that, you know, may not help matters.
“Although, just to be clear, I am not kicking any infertile person in the nads because that, you know, may not help matters.”
Yeah, I suppose it’s not like Fonzie jump-starting the jukebox in Al’s.
(I feel really old, now, realizing that I remember that.)
The economy needs a good Chuck Norris kick in the nads and so does the new AI judge. Ew. Kick. Kick-kick. That extra kick was for layoff’s. A word I’m hearing to much these days.
Ohhhh, these are all very good. . . if I may join in:
I’d like to kick self-absorbed, neglectful parents IN THE NADS! Both in 2008 AND 2009!
(Note: I’m not referring to my parents here, just to be clear.)
ricki — Hahahahaha!
And who doesn’t remember Fonzie? You are not old.
I’d like to REPEATEDLY kick the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Philadelphia Eagles in the nads!
Samuel — OH! I SO want to kick the Steelers in the NADS!!