note

I meant to keep the comments closed on the post below, but I just forgot. They are closed now. (Although, thank you Cullen and sarahk for your comments.) I wrote that post not to put anyone in the awkward position of feeling they need to say something, but to help me remember, help me process. I have a strange kind of memory: I can remember the tiniest inconsequential occurrence in vivid detail and then completely blank out, black out, huge emotional events that have happened in my life. I repress a lot of …. unpleasantries that way. Remembering them too long after the fact takes monumental concentration for me, so the post below and the ones that will follow along this theme are to help me remember before it becomes a real strain to remember.

I write to remember. I write to write. Because I need to write.

So I’m living this weird double life right now: I’m losing my home and I’m obsessed with Twilight. And it’s strange — I feel like I need the one to survive the other. Maybe my blog will be all over the map the next few weeks, so for that, I apologize. I write here to be as honest as possible about my life, because, sadly, I don’t have that freedom with people who inhabit my 3-D life. Thank you for allowing me to be real. I don’t want to be a downer, but I need to remember these things. Please understand if I post things and leave comments closed. I know your good hearts and I can feel your kindness. You don’t need to say anything. Just letting me be me is enough.