meet my new lover

Well, I didn’t see this coming. No way. No how. I mean, there I was, just living my life, being a so-so citizen, minding my own business and occasionally my neighbors’, completely clueless as to what was lurking around the next corner. But that’s usually when it happens, isn’t it? You’re just skipping along, whistling Dixie or yo-dee-doh, when BAM, the new love of your life — Marie’s Jalapeno Ranch Dressing — comes crashing onto the scene and you are helpless against its spicy creamy power. And I’m normally a balsamic vinaigrette girl! Really! I mean, I love it so much I make my own balsamic vinaigrette! So one could truly say that, this dressing, well, it’s not even my type. But that just shows its seductive lure. My whole world is topsy turvy. I’m all catawumpus. Everything is whackadoo.

It’s bad.

I mean, what’s next? I suddenly find Brad Pitt attractive??

This week, I’ve been spending quality time every evening with my new lover. And veggies. Or crackers. Or a cup into which I pour my lover and drink it straight up. My Beloved has met my lover and thoroughly approves, which is nice. Actually, he approves so much, I’ve even caught him spending time with my lover, which, I don’t know, I might have a problem with at some point. I mean, I had dibs. I was there first. I don’t want to start meeting on the sly, but I will if I have to.

See you soon, lover.