I know I’ve been more quiet than usual on this blog lately. We are, collectively, in the midst of some perilous, scary times and some of us are going through perilous, scary times personally. That’s where we are. I mentioned our situation months ago on this blog and just don’t have the energy to get into it right now. If you read it then, you may remember; if you didn’t, well, I’m sorry you’re in the dark a bit.
Sometimes I put pressure on myself to stay mostly lighthearted on this blog. Not that I don’t write about anything else. I do. I know. But, actually, my “default” public setting is to find the humor in things or be silly or whimsical, blah, blah, hoodie blah. It’s a childhood thing. The only way I really got positive attention, so I guess I think it’s the only way people will “like” me. I mean, I’ve gotten emails from time to time from people complaining that I didn’t write a funny post about this or a funny run-down of that, and, well, uhm, sorry. Sometimes it just ain’t there, but there are people who expect it. And it’s always the people who never comment. Weird. They email me and I’m like, “Who ARE you?? I have no relationship with you at all.”
This may sound strange, but that kind of response — the jokey thing — is so kneejerk for me that I have some level of contempt for it. The deeper or more emotional things I write are agonizing and nearly impossible for me to get out. They hurt me — a lot — but I think they’re good for me. I have to think that or I’d never ever write them. I really don’t know why I’m talking about this now or how this is germaine to where I started here. Hm. Well. I guess it’s just that my “default” is failing me right now and I can’t find the words to talk about what’s really going on.
“We” are fine, MB and I. That’s not what I’m referring to. It’s everything else that’s happening to life around us. I actually started a post about it and I’m trying to finish it, but who knows? For me, it’s nearly impossible to write coherently about what I’m going through when I’m in the midst of it. At least, not without sounding like a whiny schlump.
So please bear with me. There are pressing things outside of cyber space. And if you’re the praying type, maybe you wouldn’t mind sending one heavenward for us. I’d appreciate it.
Consider yourselves prayed for. I understand the knee-jerk silly/funny thing. And I like to read whatever you write – humorous or serious or silly or painful. Of course there’s more to your life than just this blog. The sad thing is the person who berates you about how humorous you were or weren’t – because obviously THAT person has nothing else to do or think about.
But anyway – write however the heck you want to write, about whatever you want to write about. Or not. I’ll keep reading. And I’ll wait quietly if you need to take a break.
Just take care of you and the things that really matter. Be well.
//This may sound strange, but that kind of response — the jokey thing — is so kneejerk for me that I have some level of contempt for it. //
Wow, Tracey. I really REALLY relate to that. Yes, yes, I do know what you mean.
Not exactly the same situation, but as a person who has these GIANT events going on in her ‘real’ life – none of which she writes about on her blog – I really hear what you’re saying here. And it’s strange when people (readers I have never met) feel resentful that I don’t share all. Like: who are these people? I share barely ANYTHING by design! So I think people feel close to you – because your writing is so accessible, and friendly, and witty … and then they feel baffled that they don’t get to barge all the way in the door. Weird.
I still find it unbelievable that people write you whiny emails about why you didn’t do some funny rundown of America’s Got Talent, or whatever it is.
Hang in there, friend. Thinking of you and MB every day.
Jayne — Thanks, you’re the best. You really are.
sheila — I know, right? Like is someone really waiting breathlessly for my righteous takedown of “America’s Next Top Model”???
And ditto to you. Thinking and praying for you every day.
//Like is someone really waiting breathlessly for my righteous takedown of “America’s Next Top Model�??//
Actually, yes. I am. But I figure now is not a good time to mention it.
HA!!
Weird when the blog becomes a place where you DON’T share what’s happening … but it makes a lot of sense … because dealing with other people’s energies (even if they are kind and compassionate) can take a lot of energy!! And also you just can’t predict when someone will show up and say something totally stupid – and even the anticipation of that can ruin a day!
Hang in there!!! And thanks for your prayers!
Thinking and praying for ALL of you.
These are tough times, and while I too am a person who tries to find humor in alomst everything, somethings just aren’t even a little bit funny.
I for one like you for your humanity…both the humor and pain. I don’t like that you’re IN pain, but the way you can write about it is second to none.
So take your time, and know that we are thinking about you. Good luck, my cyber friend.
No pressure here, just prayers. 🙂
Consider it done…
Dear Tracey,
We consider it a privelege that you share any part of your life with us. We love your wit, whimsy, artistic and literary talents- but they’re yours and they’re a gift to us, not a right.
What Jayne said, and prayers for you.
Rest in your quietness. Sometimes that is the best thing to do.
Prayers for you. Heck, prayers for all of us.
I try to keep things light-ish on my blog but lately it just feels like there’s not been much. I vacillate between being sad and being angry at human stupidity.
I am just thankful that you are here and that you write wonderful things for us to read.
What you share is what you share and that’s cool.
sheila — /Actually, yes. I am. But I figure now is not a good time to mention it./
Hahahahaha!
Thanks, everyone.
And Cullen, that is so so nice. Thanks. I hope you’re feeling better!
And thank you, Sal. I’m touched.
Prayers here for you, Tracey! I’m one of your newer readers so of course I have little idea of anything written previously.
It’s very pleasant to visit your blog and I enjoy your writing. So I care about what happens and want you to know I’ll be thinking of you. 🙂
Thanks, Maura. And welcome!
Belated prayers here as well… and you always have them if (when) you need them.
Tracey-
I am friends “in real life” (from childhood) with Jayne and Sheila, and that is how I have found your blog. I have been reading you for months, and wanted to comment for a while. Well, now I think it is time that I comment to tell you that I think it is admirable of you to keep part of your life PRIVATE, and to take care of yourself. Good for you! Anyhow, for months now, you and MB have been in my thoughts and prayers, and will continue to be. ~Beth
Hey! Hi Beth! I “know” you! Hahahaha. Thank you so much for your comment — and prayers. It’s so nice to see you around here!
(Blushing, hanging head sheepishly, kicking the dirt…)
ummmmmmmmmmm….Hi Tracey…….I feel like I am meeting a celebrity. I have nothing witty to say. (Major case of marble mouth over here.)
beth — That cracks me up because I am such a dork. You must know that by now. 😉
Praying for you, of course, my Peachy Petty Beef. Or something.