i steal because i love

From Sheila — although without all the cool pictures and clips she put in hers because I am a sloth and a slug.

All righty. A movie questionnaire. I’m sure you’re all positively twitterpated to hear my answers, so keep your smelling salts handy, Pittypat.

1) Your favorite musical moment in a movie: Now, see, when I first read this, I instantly went to the kabillion movie musical scenes stored in my head, but that’s not what the question’s asking, is it? “Favorite Musical Moment in a Movie.” Okay. I’m not going with “favorite”; I’m going with “Moments I Like Off The Top O’ My Li’l Head.” Judy Garland singing “The Man That Got Away” in A Star is Born. (Although I guess that’s sort of considered a musical. Drat.) How ’bout Michelle Pfeiffer, “Makin’ Whoopie,” in The Fabulous Baker Boys? Drop-dead sexy. How ’bout Rocky on the steps of the museum? I mean, we’ve got yer heartbreak, yer sexy, yer soaring. What else ya want??

Moving on.

2) Ray Milland or Dana Andrews: Ray Milland.

3) Favorite Sidney Lumet movie: The Verdict.

4) Biggest surprise of the just-past summer movie season: I don’t know if it’s a surprise, per se, but Iron Man was pretty darn great. And Tropic Thunder was raunchy, and God help me, I could NOT stop laughing. MB went into the wild ugly cackle more than once. It was awesome. The movie, the wild ugly cackle. Besides, I am forever and always on the sidelines, rooting for Robert Downey, Jr.

5) Gene Tierney or Rita Hayworth: Rita Hayworth!

6) What’s the last movie you saw on DVD? In theaters?: Moliere and Burn After Reading.

7) Irwin Allen’s finest hour?: Poseidon Adventure, I guess.

8) What were the films where you would rather see the movie promised by the poster than the one that was actually made?

Hm. Well, this could be one:

I actually like this poster, the asymmetry, the color, the isolation. And yet there aren’t enough words to express my loathing of the actual movie.

9) Chow Yun-Fat or Tony Leung: Chow Yun-Fat

10) Most pretentious movie ever: Uhm, MB has told me that I can’t give my real answer without losing all credibility as a human being. Really, as if I had any. But now I’m skerred, soooo …. my pinch-hit answer is ….. Koyaanisqatsi. And by extension, any and all other members of the qatsi family. Chant it with me now: Koy-aaaaaan-is-qatseeee, Koy-aaaaaaan-is-qatseeee. Shut up, Philip Glass.

11) Favorite Russ Meyer movie: I’ve managed to miss them all.

12) Name the movie that you feel best reflects yourself, a movie you would recommend to an acquaintance that most accurately says, “This is me.”: I have to say I haven’t found one yet. It kind of makes me sad.

13) Marlene Dietrich or Greta Garbo: Greta Garbo, actually.

14) Best movie snack? Most vile movie snack?: Best: Red Vines or popcorn with Hot Tamales. Most vile? Nachos or popcorn with too much greasy movie butter. Ugh. I won’t eat it.

15) Current movie star who would be most comfortable in the classic Hollywood studio system: Oh, I don’t know. Aren’t we supposed to say George Clooney?

16) Fitzcarraldo—yes or no? Yes. I love Werner Herzog.

17) Your assignment is to book the ultimate triple bill to inaugurate your own revival theater. What three movies will we see on opening night?: “Ultimate triple bill”? Pressure. How ’bout just “a triple bill I would enjoy and others could watch it too and if they didn’t like it, they could lump it and, hey, no refunds, you SAW what the bill was, Peaches”? Sounds good to me. So, uhm, Singin in the Rain, Centerstage — deal with it — and, ohh, The Fabulous Baker Boys. Somethin’ for everyone in that one. YUM.

18) What’s the name of your theater? (The all-time greatest answer to this question was once provided by Larry Aydlette, whose repertory cinema, the Demarest, is, I hope, still packing them in…): Well, sheesh, now I have performance anxiety about my answer. Thanks. I only hope The Demarest is kicking as much bottom as my theater, The Peachy, would be. Complete with cappuccinos, etc., made by moi. Hey, I was gonna say “The Slappy,” but doesn’t that sound a tad naughty? Thought so.

19) Favorite Leo McCarey movie: An Affair to Remember

20) Most impressive debut performance by an actor/actress: Most impressive? Gah. There’s so many. So I’m gonna go with the first one that comes to mind right now. I will never ever forget Reese Witherspoon as Dani in The Man in the Moon. Heartbreaking.

21) Biggest disappointment of the just-past summer movie season: It pains me to say it but The Dark Knight

22) Michelle Yeoh or Maggie Cheung: Michelle Yeoh. Because I don’t think I’m familiar with Maggie Cheung, quite frankly.

23) 2008 inductee into the Academy of the Overrated: Al Pacino. Lately. Okay. Like the last 20 years. Please be good again, Al Pacino. Also Don Cheadle is beginning to wear on me. Starting to seem smug or sanctimonious in his movies. I know he’s getting lauded for Traitor, but what a snooooooze. Ugh. Enough Don Cheadle. Lighten up. Chill. Take an enema. Gah.

24) 2008 inductee into the Academy of the Underrated: Don’t laugh. Okay. Go ahead and laugh. I mean, it’s not like I can see you. Or so you think, anyway. But Bruce Willis. Yes, Bruce Willis is my answer. Because I think he’s great at the macho kick-ass characters he frequently plays. Because I pined for him as sexy, wise-cracking David Addison in Moonlightling. Because I loved the quiet cerebral pain of his character in The Sixth Sense. And because I think there’s more to him. Not that all that isn’t enough. But there’s diversity there. Layers. Depth. I guess I just want him to be cast in that one role, that one role that will prove I’m right, basically. (See how I can make anything be about me?) I want him to have that perfect part that elevates him, once and for all, above all the knee-jerk associations people have with him.

25) Fritz the Cat—yes or no?: No. I prefer Felix, thank you.

26) Trevor Howard or Richard Todd: I have no preference.

27) Antonioni once said, “I began taking liberties a long time ago; now it is standard practice for most directors to ignore the rules.” What filmmaker working today most fruitfully ignores the rules? What does ignoring the rules of cinema mean in 2008?: Oh, dear. Paul Thomas Anderson seems like a good answer. (I loved his lesser-known Hard Eight about 10 years ago. Philip Baker Hall!)

28) Favorite William Castle movie: Since I think the only one I’ve seen is The House on Haunted Hill, so let’s go with that, shall we?

29) Favorite ethnographically oriented movie: Uh, speaking of pretentious ….. Couldn’t you say virtually every movie is “ethnographically oriented”? Dealing with “human social phenomena”? Whatevs. Okay. The Gods Must Be Crazy. Okay. Schindler’s List. Okay. Clerks. Sheesh.

30) What’s the movie coming up in 2008 you’re most looking forward to? Why?: Well, it’s slated for 2009, but it’s currently on hold. Still, the possibility of a movie version of Life of Pi fills me with both butterflies and dread. I wouldn’t be able not to go, but I’d be biting my nails about how it could actually be pulled off. Then again, I would have to know. Satisfy my curiosity in perhaps ruinous fashion. I love Life of Pi. Love it. One of my favorite books of recent memory, actually. But … but …. how do you handle Richard Parker?? Without giving anything away here for those who haven’t read it, what about Richard Parker?? And the ending?? How how howie-how-how??

30b) Added by moi. Most pretentious answer you’ve given in this questionnaire: “How how howie-how-how??”

31) What deceased director would you want to resurrect in order that she/he might make one more film? : Oh, I’m in a Frank Capra mood. I need a Frank Capra movie right now.

32) What director would you like to see, if not literally entombed, then at least go silent creatively?: Oliver Stone hasn’t done anything I’ve liked in a long long time.

33) Your first movie star crush: Harrison Ford, Star Wars. Every girl in the world had a crush on him. That poor Mark Hamill. I don’t know any girl who crushed on him. Ever.