Well, nah, it’s not THAT.
A while back, my mom gave me a box full of my old grade school art projects and report cards and, ah, “writings.” Digging through it, I found my first “book.” A lovely little thing, actually, bound in thin cardboard covered in an icy, pale green tapestry. I know I had nothing to do with that pretty, textured binding; I was only in first grade. It was simply given to me and, in it, I wrote my magnum opus, carefully writing and erasing on that beige, wide-lane paper designed to stretch childish letters to absurd, wobbly heights. Really, that paper only encourages excess and grandiose notions in the already megalomanaical minds of grade school younguns. It’s not right. I actually thought I had written A BOOK! It was a true epic, all of 10 pages, including the priceless crayon artwork by the author.
So I share it with you now, dear readers, complete with the original punctuation, spelling, and capitalization. Perhaps you will see glimpses of a burgeoning genius.
Or …. perhaps just flashes of mania from a six-year-old mind obsessed with …. the Easter bunny.
That’s right. THE EASTER BUNNY.
The title of my tome was …. wait for it …. “Easter Bunny.”
I wish I could share the original artwork with you. Suffice it to say that I seemed unable to remember the color of the bunny from one page to the next and that I thought eggs were round. And black. What kind of sick, SICK Easter Bunny I was peddling, I have NO idea!
But here it is:
It was the. day before. Easter the. bunny. was ready
he had a basket full of egg and he was
(page turn)
Happy the sun shone and it was pretty then after he was done he went (page turn)
to bed and he slept at home and what a beautifull evening!
And he Slept all through the day And he was done He slept and slept (page turn)
And slept his eggs wer Pretty
The end
Okay. On the plus side:
Uhh … well … I used the correct verb — the sun “shone,” not “shined.”
I almost spelled “beautiful” correctly. At first glance, I thought I had. However, a closer look reveals an additional shadowy “L.” So I must cop to it. Drat.
I did, however, show unusual sensitivity for the sheer exhaustion that ol’ Easter Bunny MUST feel when he’s done delivering those black eggs to all the children of the world.
On the minus side:
My absolute obsession with periods in the beginning.
My utter disregard for them anywhere else.
“A basket full of egg”?! Not “eggs” — “EGG.” Is anybody else picturing a hoppy, little bunny with a basket full of jiggly, rotten goo? Ugh.
I almost nailed “beautiful” but couldn’t seem to manage “were.”
Notice the out-of-place capitalizations: Happy. Sleep. Pretty. These things were obviously very important to me.
Howevah …. since when is Sleep important to a six-year-old? Maybe I was narcoleptic, but I don’t remember it.
Poor dumb bunny.
Poor dumb sleepy bunny.
Actually, I think “were” can be a difficult word, so don’t beat yourself up over that. Plus, you know….YOU WERE 6 YEARS OLD.
-M
I think it definitely shows an above average aptitude for words and painting pictures with them. “,… and what a beautifull evening!” How many 6 year olds do you know that can appreciate beauty in the evening? You may hear about pretty nights, but beautifull evenings? Priceless. 😀
precious.
Thanks, all!
“Were” is a hard word, but after the whole so-close with “beautiful,” I guess I got my hopes up! 😉
I love that the book goes, “He slept and slept” — then you must turn the page to see what happens next, only to find “And slept.”
hehehe
*Why yes, today IS the day that I will catch up on and comment upon ALL of your posts since I GOT MARRIED!!!*
I ran across some of my ol’ stuff when I was cleaning out my apartment to move into MF/MH’s house. Can’t throw it away. Can’t. Apparently, I read 100 books in 1st grade (or so the certificate signed by my teacher says) and mastered the art of the accrostic poem in 3rd grade. (I remember one of my teachers asking me if I had copied my poem out of a book. Not the *last* time I’d be accused of plagiarism. But could they put me in a class for gifted students? Noooo… Could they ship me to a school for kid writers? Noooo… They could only accuse me of being a liar AND a thief. *Grrr*)
Don’t worry, I had a fixation with turning everything (pom pons, drapery swags, graduation tassels) into hair to be swung around and brushed. I think black Easter eggs is the least of your worries.
And I still can’t spell “beautiful” without thinking hard about it. Good job. (‘Course I have to sing the ABC song in my head to alphabetize files, so…)