Waiter, loudly to my dad: So. How ’bout an amber lager?
Dad: I’ll have a lemonade, please.
(Although maybe it’s only funny to me.)
*******
ME (taking a sip of MB’s drink): Ew. What is that?
HE: It’s Diet Coke and horchata.
ME: Oh! I hate horchata!
HE: You’re very passionate about this.
ME: Yes!
*******
~ He seems more like a Nudist Monthly kind of guy.
*******
Piper found out one of her friends has a hole in her heart and needs surgery. She was distressed about it and asked my sister, “How can Jesus live in a heart with a hole in it?” Sister did her best to explain about Jesus living in a person’s heart. When she was done, there was a pause, then Piper said, “Do you think he has a pool and a jacuzzi?”
Our friends in the middle of the country are asking themselves what horchata is right about now.
And I like to think of Jesus as having a pool and jacuzzi. I’d say he deserves them ;). Kids are too funny. Keep us updated on Piper’s friend, as I’m sure we will all be sending good thoughts her way.
MM — You’re so right. Okay. A definition for our non-west Coast friends:
Horchata (n): A completely undrinkable cold beverage invented by a gastroterrorist which is made of ground almonds, sesame seeds, rice, barley or tigernuts.
Okay. It’s a watery milky drink on ice that tastes like death, basically.
And I have NO idea what tigernuts are. The name promises all manner of mischief and malaise, does it not? A truly icky and unnecessary beverage.
About Piper’s friend — yes, I’ll let you know if I learn of any developments.
I knew what horchata is already. I’m still recoiling in horror that someone would mix it with diet Coke.
And I am laughing about the “pool and Jacuzzi” comment.
Definition appreciated, but, um, why does it exist? And what does that look like when mixed with soda?
I’m thinking the waitress thought your dad was somebody else. Who likes beer with his hearing loss.
Your niece has quite a noggin, LOL! If Jesus has a pool and a jacuzzi when He lives in our hearts, then Heaven must have a water park. With no lines for the slides.
“Pool and Jacuzzi” – brilliant! You do realize that we’re all in the Piper Fan Club, right?
Jesus is lucky if there’s even an indoor privy in my ol’ dumpy heart, but He does have all the necessary permits to begin improvements. 😉
Kate P — It looks like Diet Coke, that’s the insidious thing about it.
And the waiter was just loud. Dad doesn’t have a hearing loss. He just doesn’t drink, not ever. The look on his face when he was being offered something alcoholic was priceless.
NF — “The Piper Fan Club” — aw, thanks. She’s a little doodle, she is.
O.K., I knew your dad’s hearing was fine (hence the joke- well, poor attempt at a joke); I guess I haven’t been hanging around enough to know he doesn’t drink alcohol. See, now it’s funny to me, too. The loud waiter was probably hopped up on horchata.
Speaking of which, it is SO wrong in my book for something to be masquerading as Diet Coke, especially when it’s full of seeds and weeds. 🙂
KAte P — I’m slow on the uptake today.
No worries. BTW did that loud waiter happen to have 37 pieces of flair?
“Heaven must have a water park. With no lines for the slides.”
Then, once I have shuffled off this mortal coil, I am SO there!