would you sign my yearbook?

This could be the start of a recurring series. Or it could be something I completely abandon after one measly post. Who knows, really? I’m mercurial that way. One could also use the word lazy if one were the uncharitable type.

When I rediscovered my junior year yearbook last week, of course I started to read the stuff people wrote in it. Stuff I hadn’t read in centuries. Stuff from people I barely — or blatantly don’t — remember. Stuff that boggles the mind and gives you the bends. But, oh, the joys! The mortifying joys! The cringing shivers!

Here’s one to kick off this series. Or non-series. Don’t tie me down, man. This is from a dude I’ll call Roger. He’s a senior; I’m a junior. His father owned a huge local car dealership and other than that, I remembered nothing about him until I read this. Then I remembered that he made me very uncomfy and I generally kept my distance from him. The word “smarmy” comes to mind. I really don’t know how he ended up signing my yearbook.

Anyway, cringe at will. My comments in italics.

Tracey,

I hope you don’t feel bad about Saturday night. (What happened Saturday night?! Nothing, I swear!) I mean, I was perturbed, but not ravaging crazy. You are a very beautiful person in ALL respects. You have a terrific personality and you can look very very good. (Note the word “can.”) I still want your picture, it’s divine! I hope that since I’m leaving I’ll be able to see you over the summer and next year. (I really want to!) I hope you know what you have to offer, cause you have alot of things to offer that many girls don’t. Sweetness, inner beauty, outer beauty, sideways beauty(eww), upside-down beauty, ha (even ewwier). I really appreciate our relationship and I hope we can cultivate our friendship into a closer one. I know I’ll see more of you so I won’t say goodbye. I hope I’ll never have to say goodbye. (Seems he did, tho. Bummer.) Please stay the great person that you are! See ya around and have an excellent summer — jr. hi talk! I know I’ll be around and I hope you call many times: (Slappy’s phone #). I know you’ll be a success in life because of your uniqueness and excellentness.

Love ALWAYS,

Roger B.
(This isn’t very well put! I’ll tell ya now it doesn’t express everything I want to express!)

I have to go ponder my uniqueness and excellentness now, pippa.

“C U soon.”