Everything’s been so crazy ’round here lately, excuse me, will you, while I engage in some mental flightiness? It’s like I need to offload or something.
I irrationally hate Gloria Estefan.
I sometimes wonder whatever happened to Heather Graham.
I like Tom Selleck. I always have. I think he’s adorable. Okay. I used to have a huge poster of him in my room. I would move out of his line of sight when I dressed, though.
I have a dance crush on Helio Castroneves from “Dancing with the Stars.”
I guess it’s only fair to state that MB has a dance crush on Edyta Sliwinskaskinnybutt from “Dancing with the Stars.”
I am reading “Marie Antoinette” by Antonia Fraser. Louis XVI is driving me crazy right now. Make a decision, man! I mean, in retrospect! From beyond the grave! Please!
This is a problem. I get too wrapped up in people’s dead-and-done deeds. I love them, but reading histories exhausts me.
For instance, I’m still mad at Magellan.
Every year, I become deeply excited about any and all holiday movies looming on the cinematic horizon. They are like the pony in the poo pile of life, you know? Right now it’s Mr Magorium’s Wonder Emporium and Fred Claus.
I unconditionally love all Christmas commercials involving animated creatures sliding on snow, like that Norelco Santa of Yore. Now there are some slidey snowmen or something in a commercial for some god-awful singing Hallmark something. I deeply love this commercial even while the product (whatever the heck it is) shivers me timbers.
I once read a blurb in a book by that self-realization guru, Paramahansa Yogananda, that talked about wanting to be the “naughty baby of the universe.” I quickly realized that realizing myself was not for me.
I sometimes wonder whatever happened to Bosco Wasco, this funny, big-faced kid from 5th grade.
I’m still laughing at something Piper said a few weeks ago when we visited her. Climbing back into their car after her soccer game, she said, “I want Uncle Beloved to sit by me.” “What?? Not Tee Tee anymore?” Mock disappointment. She just said, “Tee Tee, you’ve had lots of turns already.” Yes, you must learn to share, Tee Tee.
ME: Thank God we went to Target. The razor situation in this house was getting unbearable.
HE: I know.
ME: I mean, my underarms were like little flesh kiwis.
HE: Oh!
(I am a real catch, I tell ya.)
Another day:
HE: I beg to differ.
ME: Oh, yeah? Really? Where’s the begging?
I’m about to start reading “IV” by Chuck Klosterman because I love Chuck Klosterman.
Also, on deck after that is “Stiff” by Mary Roach. It’s kinda hard to resist a book that says, “This is a book about notable achievements made while dead.”
Not that I’m morbid or anything.
So. Uhm.
What’s up with all of you?
Stiff is a great book!! I loved it – I didn’t want it to end. She’s written another book too – about the search for scientific proof of life after death. Hope you enjoy!
(not that I’m morbid, either, haha)
I’m trying to create baby chicks out of men’s X-L undershirts, a box of yellow Rit dye and that plastic horsehair braid. And boas.
I will Make it Work!
I irrationally hate Penelope Cruz.
Heather Graham had a recurring role on ‘Scrubs’ but I also irrationally hate that Zach Graff or whatever his name is, so I didn’t see her much.
Coming home from dropping off the last saucy pirate outfit at the high school, the g-daughter asks:
“So, Mimi, how did you get your costume job?”
“She e-mailed me and asked if I had time to work.”
“No, I mean how did you get the first job? How did you get started?”
Like she’s Barbara Walters or something. She’s five.
Classic Tracey! This made my day bright- thank you!
OOH! I, too, have an irrational hate of Gloria Estefan! Especially her music. I mean, she’s had some major adversity, so that makes her as a person a teeny bit sympathetic to me, but the MUSIC! ACK! It’s because when I was a pre-teen girl, I would sit in the locker room at the racquetball club while my mom played racquetball, and I would use all the curling irons and hot rollers and listen to whatever crap music they played over the lite rock station, which was really more like lite crappy pop. And it was almost ALL Gloria Estefan, all the time. Though there was some nice Bonnie Tyler thrown in for good measure. That, I didn’t mind.
“Uncle Beloved” made me think “UB”–which in turn made me think of “Uncle Buck” (I think the one nephew called him “UB”). I don’t know what’s in the office coffee this morning but I think it’s affecting me. Just thought you should know. 🙂
P.S. Sal, I think I have an irrational hatred of Scrubs. I just don’t think it’s funny at all. Maybe it’s smooshy-lipped-Zach-Graff’s fault.
I had a great moment this past weekend talking to Sea Lions off the Oregon Coast. It was the easiest conversation I’ve had in a while.
I also like Tom Selleck (never had a poster though).
I am reading Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller again ’cause I need to.
I love that Sal is creating something that I would have never ever in a million years dreamed up.
And thanks to sarahk I can’t get the line “Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face!” outta-me-head!
I would move out of his line of sight when I dressed, though. Ditto my Ralph Macchio poster. What’s that about?
little flesh kiwis THAT’S funny.
You don’t even want to know what’s been going on with me.
1) Chronic leak under the sink that has taken three visits from a plumber to fix (cross your fingers)
2) Installation of a new dishwasher (two visits — cross your fingers)
3) One of my goldfish’s eyes popped out — both of them. He was still alive when Tef flushed him (and I was standing in the kitchen hyperventilating, trying not to throw up)
4) There was a lizard behind the bread yesterday morning when I went to make my toast.
5) I think I might be going insane.
[oy]
I have such love for Tom Selleck that I named my pet rabbit Tom Selleck. Then I found out that she’s a girl. But she seems alright with it so I left it alone.
Like ten years ago I had an Angelina Jolie as Lara Croft cutout and I A) could not change in front of it and B) had to retire it because my boyfriend of the time would wake up and freak out for a split second before remembering about the cutout. He said it made him feel like someone else was in the house.
Little Man a.k.a. the child that may someday be my stepson had a funny word misunderstanding the other day. He thought that the word “shins” referred to the groin area. I explained what your shins are and then asked him why he had thought that. He said it was because people always say, “I’m going to kick you in the shins.”
Ohhhh. Tom Selleck. Loved him on Friends…and before. Ralph Macchio, too. Actually any of those guys from “The Outsiders” were alright back then…back when Tom Cruise was normal.
I had tons of posters on my walls, so I was always in someone’s line of sight. Guess I was a closet exhibitionist, because I didn’t seem to mind 😉
Be careful out there or the rythym is going to get you!
PS. Word Girl…sorry about your fish! That is so sad!
Thanks, MM.
RIP “Bobber” We miss seeing you float upside down on purpose. We kinda’ liked the way it freaked people out. He was a trooper. I’ve never seen a fish that tough in my life. We had him a year and he was always sick with something. But he held on. Until that whole eyeball thing, which pretty much spells imminent doom for a fishito. Just the thought of it gives me the heebie-jeebies. Still, he seemed pretty happy in his eyeballessness up until the Great Flush. As my husband was standing over the toilet with the net he asked me one last time, “You sure you don’t just wanna’ keep him anyway? We could remane him. How ’bout ‘Homer’? …’Oedipus’?”
Lots of times heterosexual men hate the men whom women love, but Tom Selleck is the modern-day Clark Gable that way. He is a very good guy to us men as well, maybe even whom we’d like to be if we had to be somebody else, especially in “Quigley” (even though he killed Tracey’s not-so-secret love) and that TV movie in which he played a former L.A. cop turned Police Chief of a town in Massachusetts.
The farther you read in the Fraser book, the sadder you’re going to feel, for Louis as well as Marie Antoinette. By the end of it, my own sadness had become outrage. Considering the excesses of the Revolution, Bastille Day ought to be a reminder of national shame for France rather than a day of celebration.
Yesss. Let’s talk about Tom Selleck some more. I must be older than everyone because I remember him as the Chaps cologne guy. THEN he bacame a movie star. In Coma, then on TV on Magnum PI. He makes my stomach get butterflies and I feel a little giddy. Quigley is too much to watch because he wears cowboy boots. Oops, I need to stop………..
I literally cannot take all this in. HAhahahahahah!
Jayne- I have to say, I’ve already started reading it. I picked it up last night and I could not put it down. It’s such a morbid sort of topic, but it’s funny; she’s funny about it. I find it fascinating.
Sal — Baby chicks out of tee shirts and dye and boas?? Wha?? And I love your little Barbara Walters, so cute. Also, don’t hate me, I like Scrubs. I don’t see it that often, but I like it. I love that actor who plays Dr. Cox. What is his name? I have to go look it up. Anyway, I love that guy.
sarahk — See, now I love you even more.
Brian — I’m so jealous. I love the Oregon Coast. I love any coast off of the Northwest anywhere. My true home. Sigh ….
Kate P — Finish your paper!!! 😉
WG — We have a leak under our sink, too. Hey, Twin Leaks. (Ugh) Also, the fish thing: Uhm, they can still live without eyeballs?? They just swim around, bumping into the sides of the aquarium?? I am agog. Also, why are there lizards in your house? Do you live in Costa Rrrrica?? Your little baby boy bean will love it, I’ll bet. He can be the Lizard King.
Marisa — I love that you have a female rabbit named Tom Selleck. And as far as your Maybe Stepson’s quote — I am dying! I think I want to start saying that whenever I kick men in the cajones, just to psych ’em out: I’m gonna kick you in the shins! BAM!
Dave — I’ve never seen his “Quigley” movie. Now I’m worried — Who does TS kill? You mean I have to choose between boyfriends?? NOOOOOOOO!!!
But I did, Ma! 11:45 last night! 🙂
Alan Rickman, who totally deserved it!
Rickman: Some men are born in the wrong century. I think I was born on the wrong continent.
Selleck: This ain’t Dodge City. And you ain’t Bill Hickock.
MM – Tom Selleck on Friends! Didn’t you think she should have ended up with him instead of Chandler? I’m still not quite over that.
Kate P — Hooray!
Dave — Oh, no. Not Alan Rickman. I can never see this movie then. Never.
I’m gonna kick you in the shins! BAM!
That’s so ridiculous, it has me in a fit of laughter. Snorting and everything. Can you imagine? I’d pay cash money to see that. [still chuckling]
And yes — YES! — Monica should SO OBVIOUSLY have ended up with hot Tom Selleck. She’d have a baby anyway and he love her more, despite all his talk about having “already raised his kids” yadda, yadda, yadda. I think I took that a little too personally, yes. But CHANDLER?!?!?!
COME
ON!
Ok, for the record – I LOVE Chandler. I thought he was hilarious and adorable and he was totally the friends guy I most loved.
But Tom Selleck is Tom Selleck. He was this enormous bear of a man next to her and just COMPLETELY adorable. I think if I were her, I’d have been SORELY tempted to give up my dreams of having a family for him.
Tracey – you have to see Quigley Down Under. He’s so cute in it and Alan is the super evil bad guy. And I love Alan. I mean, seriously. If I had to be stranded on a desert island with him or Tom Selleck, I’d pick Alan. I adore him. So if I can take it, I am certain you can. It’s one of the best Tom Selleck roles EVER. It cannot be skipped.
Marisa — You know, I liked Chandler, too, but not in that oh-I’m-swooning way I like Tom Selleck. They are completely different types, you know?
And if you say so, I just may have to see it. I love them both. Alan Rickman and his molasses voice is just to die for.
I love how you’re so passionate about Quigley Down Under!