in the mail

Okay. So we got this wedding invitation today. Inside, it was crammed with all kinds of extra slips of paper. Directions. RSVP. Lodging Options. Dining Options. It was like getting one of those mailers stuffed with coupons — but without the hope of any big savings on car washes or dry cleaning, consarnit all. The Dining Options slip offered a choice between New York steak, fresh salmon, or goat cheese ravioli — isn’t that nice? — and had this little blurb from the bride and groom across the top:

We’ll surprise you with the appetizers and dessert, but we figure the entree is a little too personal to leave up to 2 silly 22-year-olds to decide.

Uhm, but let’s decide to get MARRIED!!

(And, really, for me, the dessert is MUCH more personal. Sillies.)

7 Replies to “in the mail”

  1. Wow. I just realized I wouldn’t be able to answer the entree question. Except I’d be pretty sure the ravioli isn’t gluten-free and dairy-free.

    And I agree. Dessert is much more personal.

  2. Huh? Guests have been offered their choice of entree before, but jeez it doesn’t require an editorial comment along with it. And a self-deprecating one at that.

    Discretion is dead! Dead, I tells ya!

    I guess money or gift cards won’t make good presents–they might not know what to do with it, the sillies. Toaster it is.

  3. LOL

    We didn’t give our guests a choice. We were too po’ to have variety. But they got a nice, plated, sit-down dinner — served by people! — with an open bar. If they didn’t like cajun pork loin they kept it to themselves. Or they drown it in vodka tonics and forgot they cared.

  4. cindy — Knowing the family, I’m sure it is. 😉

    sarahk — DESSERT!! Although the last wedding I went to, the cake was SO disappointing. All that needless socializing for THAT?

    Kate P — /Toaster it is./ HA! Yes. Can I please give them my leftover one from Boheme?

    WG — Uhm, your wedding sounds fun. And yummy. And knowing you, there was good cake. Bless ye.

  5. Ha ha, t, silly people might not notice a few crumbs!

    Drowning their sorrows about the food–maybe that’s the other reason Christ made sure there was good wine later on at Cana!

    I’ll admit, I’m not one of those gals who has had her wedding planned out to the last detail since she was 10, but I have wondered if it would disappoint my guests if they found out the cake was dairy-free owing to my allergies. But I’m the kind of person who wouldn’t be happy until I found a really yummy cake everybody would eat and not care if it happened to be, you know, made by one of those hippie-style vegan bakeries and came in eco-friendly packaging.

  6. Which is why I am SO GLAD that T unmasked the real purpose of weddings long ago: THE CAKE. We don’t caaaare about the music; we don’t caaaare about the food; heck, we hardly care what the bride and groom say to each other or how pretty the dress is — WHERE’S THE CAKE?

    The cake can make or break the whole wedding. Really. I’ve been to perfectly good weddings where everything was in place — to the hair — and at the last minute all was lost because the cake was stale, brick-like, tasteless and covered in something someone hoped might pass for icing.

    The CAKE is the star of the show — not the bride! Those 3 dozen girls who only picked at their food knew exactly what they were doing when they passed up your pricey pate — they were saving room for cake! So if you blow it, bride and groom, you’re gonna’ have a gaggle of women on your hands who spent $200 on a dress and three hours on their hair and makeup only to be disappointed by flacid, hum-drum cake. And you don’t want that.

    My cake cost more than my dress. We went with a premium baker and taste-tested everything first. We also ordered a cake large enough for everyone invited to have at least three slices (one of my co-workers had 5). Most of my guests couldn’t tell you a thing about my dress but they’re still talking about how good the cake was.

    Damn skippy.

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