the tub (or, no shame)

I was on the phone with my sister when she shared this story about my four-year-old niece, Piper.

She was taking a bath the other evening, singing those little-girl-in-the-tub songs quite loudly and happily. My sister was working in the next room.

“Mommmmmmy!”

My sister sprinted.

“What’s wrong, Piper?”

She was sobbing, heaving. The words — still charmingly unchanged by speech classes — came in gulps.

“Mommmy, I pooed in da tub. I sawwy, Mommy. I sawwy.”

It was true.

“Oh, Piper. It’s okay. Don’t worry.”

“But Mommy, it’s poo! In da tub! I so sawwy!” She wailed, unconsoled.

“Piper, it’s okay, sweetie. Mommy will take care of it.”

Instantly, there was a barrage of questions regarding the fate of the offending “poo.”

“Mommy’s going to fix it. And it’s okay to get out of the tub if you need to go to the bathroom.”

“Okay, Mommy,” she snuffled. “I so sawwy.”

Looking straight in her daughter’s eyes, my sister said:

“You know what, Pipey? It’s okay. Sometimes that just happens.”

Bawling blue eyes and dripping blonde hair soon dried as my sister scooped her up in a cozy towel. The next morning at breakfast, Piper apologized yet again.

“Mommy, I sawwy I pooed in da tub.”

My sister had barely opened her mouth to reassure her when Piper continued:

“But ya know what, Mommy? Sometimes dat dust happens.”

I hung up the phone and just sat there, thinking. I thought how shame comes knocking, even in seemingly small situations. We can either invite him in, give him a home, or we can throw him to the curb.

Some words can instill shame. Some silences can, too. But some words …. ah! …. some words can breathe life to our spirit and bring death to our shame.

Oh, how I want my words to be words that say, “Take that, shame!”

And (sigh) I’m just not there yet.

“A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” Proverbs 25:11

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