a tasty yarn

A little story about Chloe and Alex:

Chloe made quite an impression in her favorite dress on her first date with Alex, the vegan.
ham-dress.jpg

Never mind the tiny scoops; it was her maraschino cleavage that made Alex fall for Chloe.
sundae-dress.jpg

Chloe slaved over their first Thanksgiving together. When Alex stared at the table and said, “Uh, babe, I’m a vegan, but I still eat food,” and Chloe just said, “Don’t worry, hon! It’s tofurkey,” he knew right then it was over.
crochetturkey.jpg

In the aftermath, when Alex was gone and her cheeseburger dress was missing, Chloe sat by the glow of the tv and comforted herself with an old childhood favorite.
crochetsplit.jpg

17 Replies to “a tasty yarn”

  1. The words “charming yet disturbing” come to mind.

    Also, I cannot adequately express how unbelievably AWFUL I would look in any one of those unforgiving dresses!!!! Bless the women who can wear them and wear them well, because I sure can’t!

  2. Lorrrrrd… how long did those take to make? Still, wish I had that talent. (Or maybe not. Can you imagine the brain-ramblings whilst your trying desperately to sleep? “Hmmm… a wiener dog in a sweater in a bun topped with gum drops and dijon… YEAH…”)

  3. What a story! I laughed, I cried. Well, I cried because the outfits creeped me out, but still I cried.

    I don’t think that ice cream cone (diaper) dress is what romance writers mean when they say “creamy white thighs.”

  4. I need to link to the site of the person who makes these.
    I was horrified when I stumbled across it. She has a whole menu of crocheted/knitted food there.

    But as far as fashion, the cone dress with the diaper scoop is my, uhm, favorite??

    WG — Start NOW knitting a Cheerios onesy for your little Bean. Or maybe a teething biscuit onesy. Or a Gerber baby food jar onesy. Get going, girl! This baby ain’t gonna dress — himself? Herself? Do we know yet??

    sarahk — you cannot wear these. you’re a celiac, silly.

    kate p — /white creamy thighs/ hahahahahaha!

  5. Boy, that someone would actually take the time (I mean have the time) to make something like these. Wow! I love the posing for the hamburger dress. Like the little side tilt is going to make it look that much sexier or appealing.

  6. This cannot be repeated enough:
    Crochet is the DEVIL
    It is fast and lets you actually create one of these horrid dresses before your brain can assimilate its horridness
    Notice that the worst offenders here are crocheted
    DO NOT CROCHET

    that is all.

    OTOH, I just got back from the Great State Fair of Texas, in whose Creative Arts exhibit you can see many lovely things and a whole lot of “you were thinking something- what was it?”
    So, these are actually looking not so odd.

    WordGirl! How did I miss this? Would you like a lovely, yet manly, sweater and hat? Or a hoodie? Your color choice?

  7. Nightfly, you just won the Internet.

    Srsly. You made my LOLOLOL as well as ROTFLMAO.

    I both knit and crochet. I try not to be snarky about other people’s choices. But I will say when I use my limited creative time to make something, it tends to be a something that I can, you know, actually wear to work.

    I guess what I am saying (to use a joke ‘fly was already much more brilliant at): Cheeseburger dress. Do Not Want.

  8. Another thought or two:

    Brings a whole meaning to the phrase, “…and a lifetime on the hips.”

    And maybe, when the Food Police really and truly do come for all the good things we enjoy, that sundae dress-with-maraschino-cherry-cleavage will be the closest any of us will be allowed to be to ice cream.

  9. Wordgirl –YAYYYYYY! CONGRATULATIONS!! And I will marry off my new niece, Banshee #2 — soon to be born around Christmas — to your Little Bean!

    And he will be oh-SO-happy. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

    No. Please. Banshee 2 has to be something other than a banshee. Uhm, God??

  10. Yeah, really… There is a One Banshee limit per household.
    …Right?

    And thanks! Your sparkliness just popped right out at me and made me LOL. We’re pretty stoked too. I’m SO looking forward to raising a boy. I’ve no clue what to do with girls. After they hit about one and-a-half years old, they’re like little aliens to me.

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