Did Tracey survive the landslide DISASTER in tony little La Jolla yesterday? Were she or MB crushed in the rubble at the HORRIFIC scene? Most importantly, were any puppies that Tracey could potentially kidnap and call her own injured in the TRAGEDY??
Well, I am relieved to tell you MB is fine, there were no puppies injured or kidnappped (drat!) and I, too, am fine because, well, I don’t live anywhere near lahdipooh La Jolla. Actually, if I’m honest, ‘tho, I must say that all the stress from the horrifically disastrous tragedy caused me to eat 2 WHOLE CEREMONIAL DOUGHNUTS yesterday. One with sprinkles, to signify the random rubble, and another with coconut, to signify coconut.
You know, I blame my carbo-binge on the newscasters who kept insistently blaring at me all afternoon that this was a DISASTER. A TRAGEDY. THE MOST HORRIBLE THING EVER TO HIT SAN DIEGO. Never mind that all the wealthy homeowners in the area were warned of an imminent slide, told not to sleep in their homes Tues. night, and NONE of them complied.
One or two homes were lost. Several more damaged. The horror! The HORROR! Rich people were DISPLACED! Maybe they had to stay at the HYATT! I’m not sure, all I know is that I’m really stressed about it. I probably need to have another ceremonial doughnut. Maybe a chunky apple fritter, to signify the damaged lumpen earth.
Well, I’m trying to do my part, okay?
I will keep you updated on this rapidly changing disaster.
UPDATE: I AM SERIOUSLY THINKING ABOUT THAT APPLE FRITTER! WHERE IS GOD WHEN IT HURTS??
BUT: IT WOULD INVOLVE GOING OUT INTO THE LANDSLIDING WORLD AND BUYING ONE! ACKKKK!
ALSO: PEOPLE ARE BEING ALLOWED BACK INTO THEIR HOMES! IT’S TERRIBLE!
AND: ALL THE ANIMALS HAVE BEEN REUNITED WITH THEIR FAMILIES! NOOOO! I CAN’T EVEN LOOK ANYMORE!!
FINALLY: PACKS OF LAWYERS ARE DROOLING AND SNARLING AROUND THE GIANT HELLHOLE! SWEET JESUS, THESE PLAIN SIMPLE MEN!
I so needed that laugh right now…and an apple fritter.
Great, now I can think of is the apple fritter!
Yeah, it seems kind of like a fritters-all-around sort of day.
(See, I do not GET the whole “they’ve issued a voluntary evacuation order but I MUST KNOW BETTER than the ESDA because I AM A RICH PERSON.” If they issued a “landslide is imminent” warning for MY neighborhood, I’d grab my old teddy bear and my family pictures and the quilt my mom made me and get in my car and go stay somewhere else until they told me it was safe to come back. And even then I’d be nervous.)
What gets me is… this is a LANDSLIDE, not a hurricane or thunderstorm or something. A storm can turn, or even if it hits it won’t last. But a landslide? It’s not like you can stay in your home until the danger passes! The land isn’t going to suddenly get more stable.
I know! And really, it was a SINKHOLE that turned into a landslide. A small landslide in the whole scheme of landslides. And now all these people who ignored the warnings are the same ones out on the street, complaining loudly to whatever camera will listen, “The city didn’t do enough! We weren’t prepared! Blah, blah!”
This whole thing actually made national news, too. And for the last two days now, it’s been the only thing talked about on local news — with, I noticed, a little side note, “Oh, yeah. 3000 men are trapped in a mine in South Africa. When we come back, MORE ON OUR LOCAL DISASTER!!”
Ick.
Oh, you crack me up! The plight of the rich…What will they do?
Let’s just bring them all an apple fritter. That will ease the pain.
Mmmmm….apple fritter.