upsets o’plenty!!: “the best thing ever”

Lordy!! What a day for trying to connect to the Innernets!

And what a day at the All-England Tennis Club!

So the results ….

THE JUDICIAL SYSTEM, aka SCALES OF JUSTICE
(Roger Federer, SUI)

THREW THE BOOK AT

THE MINI COOPER (Juan Carlos Ferrero, ESP)

Which is an amazing feat for an inanimate armless thingy.

JANE AUSTEN (Richard Gasquet, FRA)

IN A SHOW OF RELENTLESS PERSUASION, DISPATCHED

THE BEATLES (Andy Roddick, USA)

Miss Austen later said, “They may be bigger than Jesus, but at least He could return a serve.”

THE MAGNA CARTA (Novak Djokovic, SRB)

BEHEADED, IN THE WORST PAPER CUT EVER ….

THOMAS MORE (Marcos Baghdatis, CYP)

After the match, Mr. More’s head was spotted canoodling with Miss Thatcher’s head over Cadbury chocolates at the concessions stand.

MONTY PYTHON (Rafael Nadal, ESP)

Later in the locker room, Mr. Shakespeare cornered the newest chick reporter — the last chick reporter having quit after yesterday’s codpiece incident — and insisted she interview him.

“A man can die but once,” he said.

“But, sir, you’re not dead,” she replied.

“I am a man more sinned against than sinning.”

“It was a fair game, sir.”

“”For the rain it raineth every day,” he sighed.

“Okaaay, well …. it has been raining a lot.”

“”Fair is foul, and foul is fair!”

“Are you talking about baseball now, sir?”

“Delays have dangerous ends,” he reminded her.

“But you finished the game.”

“Having nothing, nothing can he lose.”

“Well, but, you did lose the match.”

“Now is the winnnter of our discontent.”

“Yeaah …. well, sorry you’re so depressed about it.”

And with that, the chick reporter left our poetic loser to his random asides.

Mr. Shakespeare was last seen wandering the locker room, mumbling repeatedly to his racket, “Is this a dagger which I see before me?” and wearing nothing but his autographed codpiece.

See you on the courts, peeps.