~ I wander into the kitchen and take a bite of a half-eaten Snickers
~ I wander over to the table and take a bite of a half-eaten banana
~ I wander into the bathroom and peer into the mirror at the small red dots I get under my eyes after a big heaving cry
~ Then I think about work today and how I cannot seem to communicate with The Overlord
~ I wonder just how puffy my eyes will be tomorrow and if I can call in sick
~ I think about how my favorite aunt is in town, my dad’s little sister, and how I haven’t even seen her since the memorial service for this
~ I think about how she’s coming to Boheme tomorrow and how I wish I could show her something else
~ I worry about seeing ny mom this weekend, whom I haven’t seen since Easter and all this
~ I sit and read a chapter in this completely deranged novel I’m reading that I cannot put down and that I kinda hate myself for reading
~ I watch The Office with my sunglasses on because my backup pair of glasses were stolen from The Beanhouse and I haven’t gotten new ones yet
~ I worry about how soon I will go blind because of this
~ I glance at my calf crossed over my other leg and wonder for the gajillionth time why it looks like an albino leg o’ mutton
~ I sigh about how it’s even whiter without the sunglasses on
~ Then I think about Henry VIII because I always think of Henry VIII when I look at my calf crossed over my other leg
~ I worry about sleeping and if I will see that face flying at me again — the one that made me scream out loud
~ Then I wonder for a long long time how to get past the high cold walls to where the rest of me is, the better parts, surer parts, deeper parts
~ I wonder that in every episode