We are now writing love letters to the dead Barbaro.
It started in the comments here, when I demanded that Brian pen a love letter to dearly departed Barbaro for his silly pun. What could I do? I can’t put the man in timeout, for God’s sake! So he gamely stepped up to the challenge. Now others are chiming in. Well, one’s not a love letter so much as some sort of, uh, business transaction.
See?
Dear Barbaro,
I am so sorry we never got to know each other, I’m sure you were a nice horse.
I shall think fondly of you as my daughter and I make magazine picture collages with our new Elmer’s glue stick.
Much Love!
Your almost dear friend,
Brian
**********
A horse is a horse
(of course, of course)
A horse is no angel face, of course
Unless of course
The name of the horse
Is the famous Barbaro!
We went to the source
And asked the horse
When he’d be back out on the course
He said, of course
Once his leg’s in force
He’ll be running to and fro!
“Maybe I’ll just go out to stud
Or frolic along and chew my cud
I’ll stamp and neigh
Make the kids say Hey!
It’s the famous Barbaro!â€
But now that he’s gone
It’s sad of course
He really was kinda cool (for a horse)
But a horse he was
No more tears, because –
Barbaro wouldn’t want you to be so sad…
*********
Dear “Don,â€
I was beginning to lose hope in your work, but now I can rest easy. No more mares rolling their eyes when I show up, no more gelding jokes or “second greatest horse in Philadelphia history,†no more whispers about being the Harding to Barbaro’s Kerrigan.
Payment is on its way, in the usual manner: third paddock from the door, under the feedbag. If the groomer’s there just tell him you’re looking for the john.
Sincerely,
Smarty Jones
(Also Nightfly, hahahahaha!)
**********
Dear Barbaro,
All of Philadelphia mourns your departure. How could we ever forget all the wonderful things you did, like when all those kids in comas at CHOP* awakened as the result of your triumphant win? Even Andy Reid’s sons couldn’t drive properly, what with all the tears in their eyes. Now that you’re gone, terrible, terrible, things are happening on our streets. We can only hope that all the studwork you did during your “recovery†will bring forth more magical horses like you to save our sorry, drug-laden, gun-violence ridden town.
Your hometown admirer,
Kate
*Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia for youse guys not from the area.
Yes, more magical horses, please!
Anyone else? You know it’s not good to keep your grief locked up inside, peeps.
those are just mean and unfeeling.
and FUNNY.
but mean.
I thought mean would’ve been posting that “Rainbow Bridge” poem and hiding all the Kleenex.