unbearable

Original Banshee, on the left, “playing” the trumpet. She opens in The Music Man next weekend. Cannot wait to see it.

Look at her, shooting joy out of the corners of her eyes.
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I seriously can’t bear it. I laugh/cried my way through The Sound of Music last year when she played Gretl. (I have yet to even write about that evening but I intend to.)

It sounds, well, egotistical to say, I suppose, but there were moments when she was onstage when I literally saw myself in her. I’ve noticed it before in her and MB has too. She was only 7 last year, the youngest Von Trapp kid in the play, but she stole that show. I know, I’m her aunt. I would think that, right? But I’m also an actress and I know when someone is stealing the show. That kid has a presence onstage but also knows how to BE present onstage. No one has taught her that. It’s just something she already has. Some of her expressions onstage, the way she uses her eyes, I …. saw myself.

No, she’s not my daughter; she’s my niece, but I guess it makes that childless and wounded part of my heart hurt less to see a little bit of me live on in her.

I think I’m allowed to see that, just a little bit, aren’t I?

(Also, whoever decided to give the littlest kid in the photo the biggest instrument, good job. It works. It’s funny.)

vhy, tee tee, vhy?

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BB: Tee Tee. Vhy you lef at me? Vhy? I just lie here, dat is all, and still you lef at me. I not understand you. Vhy you shake so much? Vhy your face so red? I do nutting! So vhy you lef at me, Tee Tee??

random happiness

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Elder Nephew, dressed up and smirking.

The smirk is killing me. Sometimes, you just need to see a good smirk, you know?

holiday kids

Taken with my crappy cell phone camera, but I got a purty new digital camera for Christmas. (These photos were taken pre-present opening, sadly.) So we’ll see if my photos get any better. If not, we’ll know that there is something very wrong with my new camera.

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See that look? That pretty much sums up Banshee Girl’s entire personality. A stinker, as we withered crones like to say.

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Original Banshee didn’t pose for this but I got lucky enough to catch this moment where she paused and looked so pretty and wistful.

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Okay, clearly, this sucks as a photo. I cropped them out of another photo and that made it even blurrier. But I couldn’t resist Elder Nephew’s smile and that sweet sweet look on Piper’s face. That’s her heart you see on her face. LOVE that girl so much.

where i am romanced

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BANSHEE BOY: Tee Tee! Tee Tee!!! Watch me to prube my lub for you by eading dis yummy red ball!!!

You know, in college, this dude serenaded me in the dining hall in front of everyone. It was nice, but come on. It’s no red ball, now is it?

the best-dressed fella at christmas

I tell you, pippa, I walked in the door to my brother’s house on Christmas Eve, took a gander at Banshee Boy, and burst out laughing.

He was wearing a sweater vest. A red sweater vest. A red sweater vest with an insignia. Good Lord.

Helloooo, ladies.

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a new year’s picture book

Some or all may or may not be fictionalized.

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HE: Come, my goddess. Let me take your photo first thing in the morning on the last day of the old year. ME: What?? I’m half asleep, you wanker. HE: Smile! ME: Bleh.

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HE: Now let us appear bland and normal. ME: Don’t forget washed out. HE: Yes, that too, my goddess. ME: Look at us. “Please can we come to your church? We are bland and normal and harmless.” HE: Don’t forget washed out. ME: Shut up.

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HE: Now let one of us appear friendly while the other appears demented. ME: Okay. Which is which? HE: Photos don’t lie, my goddess.

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ME: Okay. NOW let one of us grab the other’s fancy bits whilst whispering not-suitable-for-church nothings. HE: I have no problem with that. ME: Uhm, what does this have to do with New Year’s? HE: Nothing. ME: Oh, okay. I thought this all had a purpose. HE: Nope. ME: Good. Purpose is overrated. HE: You are so right, my goddess, but Happy New Year anyway. ME: Yes. God bless us, every one! HE: That’s for Christmas, isn’t it? ME: It’s for whenever. Blessings are for whenever. HE: Okay. Calm down, Tiny Tim. ME: Calm is overrated! HE: (Sigh.) Should we end this post? ME: I don’t care. I guess so. HE: Okay. ME: Okay.

Clearly, I didn’t plan this out at all since it all went nowhere fast, but Happy New Year, pippa, and God bless us, every one.

unbearable

An old photo I just found of Piper and Younger Nephew, circa 2003/4?

Please. It’s a conflagration of cuteness.

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I am in physical pain from the cuteness.

Although, they’ve clearly been kidnapped and forced to work in BIL’s garage “workshop”/sweatshop with no shoes and only one sippy cup between them.

Brave little soldiers.

aerial view of the deep dark middle of nowhere

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Not taken by me, I might add. Those are the Sierras, prominently featuring Mt. Tom.

Main Street runs horizontally across the middle of the photo there where all the buildings seem to be clustered. You’ll know your eyes have located Main Street if you follow it to the right and you see a big bend in the road. That bend in the road leads you up to Mammoth Mtn. ski resort. My inlaws’ house is north of Main Street — well, it’s actually west in terms of geography, but north in terms of this photo. (Let’s just say their house — in this photo — is above the line of Main Street.) If you see that large vertical line in the photo slightly to the left of center and move your eyes up and to the right, you’ll see a green field. That’s the football field at the high school where MB cavorted in his football uniform and did “manly things” — I have to take his word on that since I wasn’t there — that made all the girls swoon and I’m not just taking his word on that. They still swoon. Right in front of me. Please, ladies. Calm down.

Just north (in terms of the photo) and to the right from that field is another green field. That’s the ball field at the elementary school located at the end of my in-laws’ street. The street dead ends into the school, actually. It’s about a 3-minute walk to the school. I spend a lot of time there whenever we visit the deep dark middle of nowhere and the house is bursting at the seams because everyone in town is crammed in eating and talking and drinking and talking, which is basically all the time. It’s a social phenomenon, I tell you. Women and men alike come down from their mountain aeries or out of their cozy caves or their Unabomber cabins to worship and ovulate at MB’s feet. It gets a little old, although not for MB. I just roll my eyes at it all. Besides, I’m simply too busy having private anxiety attacks from the chattering crowds and the bossy shutterbugs and the pressing possibility that my FIL might soon be running around in his unmentionables asking me how I am, Trace-ums to have any time left over to worship and ovulate at MB’s feet.

So I must escape regularly. I have to to stay semi-sane. Socially, some people are bottomless oceans of chatter and others are those temporary puddles you see at street corners when it rains. I am a puddle and when the puddle runs dry, I need to fill it up by myself or with someone trusted whose presence is soothing to me.

Once I’ve escaped, I can walk the field or wander around the little cemetery that’s next to the field and just chill out. I can swing on the swings and breathe in Mt. Tom and feel myself open, soften. Mt. Tom is my friend. I love him. This is obviously taken in the late spring or summer because Mt. Tom is usually covered in snow. (He’s the mountain featured in the bottom 2 photos in this post . My MIL took those.)

Breathing in Mt. Tom is literally my salvation in the deep dark middle of nowhere. And I do love this little town. I really do.

Sometimes when I’m there, I think about all of you, pippa, and how much fun we’d have if you were there too.

But, to be completely honest, I would totally make you check to see if my FIL is fully dressed before we ever went back into the fray.

There’d probably be apple pie and margaritas, though, so it’s not all bad.

(I realize anyone can Google Mt. Tom and learn the name of our little town here. That’s fine with me. We just don’t mention the name of the town on this blog.)

new year’s resolution

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Not to become my own personal Raiders of the Lost Ark, as is clearly evidenced in this accidental self portrait.

Disturbing. But the camera don’t lie.

Must try to keep myself together in 2011.