just to be clear

If you’ve written me requesting the password, please know this:

It ain’t just one post.

Oh no.

I wish it were, but it ain’t. It’s more like 30 to 40 posts. There’s just no way in heaven or hell to tell the whole ridiculous saga in one post. So please know in advance that this will be a time-consuming, enervating, frustrating experience for you. Although, if it makes you feel any better, probably less so for you than it’s been for me.

But I’m dead serious here: Think it through first. Decide if you want to make that kind of investment in a stupid story with an ultimately unsatisfying ending.

Way to sell it, Trace.

(There’s a query letter for you: “XYZ is a stupid story with an ultimately unsatisfying ending.”)

I’m telling you, though. You’ll agree with that assessment when all is said and done.

(Also, I’ll be sending out the password as I get closer to posting the first post. If you haven’t gotten it yet, that’s why.)

oh, also

Just to complicate things, because I like to do whatever I can to complicate your lives, the password for the church posts will be different from any password you’ve had in the past for this blog.

I don’t know why.

tale to tell

Oh, dear pippa. Do I have a tale to tell. I’ve waited a long long time to tell it.

The end of the whole sordid story of what happened at Maybe Church.

Remember that? I left everyone hanging once the “lookers” and “lurkers” from Maybe Church arrived. Well, stay tuned. I have much to tell. Much I haven’t told. Much I’ve debated whether I ever would tell on this blog.

But I’ve decided I will. It’s all written already. It was all written long long ago.

So. Get ready. I’ll finally share everything with the people I always wanted to share it with anyway: the people who were there with me from the beginning of the whole lame-ass deal.

There will be a sort of “introductory” post coming in the next few days and then the actual “church” posts will be password protected because I still have a reasonable yet lingering paranoia. If one can have a reasonable paranoia, then I have it.

Please email me for the password if you’re interested.

That said, if you’ve never commented here before or never made yourself known to me in some way that would lead me to feel comfortable with you, I can’t give the password to you. To be honest, if I get an email from you and don’t have the slightest clue who you are, I just can’t do it. I’m sorry to have to make that choice but I have to make that choice. This is something I want to share/discuss with people I recognize, people who have been and are my friends here. I just need to feel safe about it. I hope you can understand.

So. Pippa.

Let the insanity begin.

(I will still be posting other non-church posts in the meantime because I understand this topic won’t necessarily be interesting to everyone. Besides that, there are a lot of church posts to cover. A lot. Gird your loins, everyone.)

“you just got smacked”

So I’m now in love with comedian Kevin Hart.

The other night, I watched his HBO comedy special — on YouTube, no less, in the little 10-minute segments that are all YouTube seems to allow. But that was my mania to finish it. I had to watch it all. Right now. No matter what it took. MB was unconscious on the sofa after a long hard day and I was sitting nearby, laptop blazing, trying to cry quietly with laughter, trying not to let any sounds escape that would wake him. It has hard, pippa. See my sacrificial love?

His special is called “I’m a Grown Little Man.” Apparently, he’s very short and he uses this fact to hilarious advantage in his special. Below are a couple of clips. (Language alert. I’m serious. If you’re likely to be offended by that, you may want to pass.)

He’s a bit like Tracy Morgan for me. I can simply hear Tracy Morgan’s voice and start laughing. Or I can see his face with no sound and start laughing. This guy looks and sounds quite different from Tracy Morgan, but there’s that same feel for me — his voice is funny to me, his face is funny to me.

Put it all together and I’m toast.

“if you like pianos ….”

I rewatched “The Piano” on Netflix last weekend. Out of curiosity, after I was done watching it, I perused the Netflix reviews. Somewhere along the line, one of the reviews basically said, “If you like pianos, you’ll love The Piano!”

And I just laughed out loud. If you like pianos, you’ll love The Piano? I mean, my parents like pianos, but they would definitely not like The Piano. Which reminds me to tell my dad he’s not allowed to put that in his queue. I’m pretty sure he’s never seen a woman naked so I see no reason to open that can of worms now.

So what kind of review is that? The irrelevant useless kind, I say. But while the review itself was useless as a review, I’m grateful because it sparked a whole new game for MB and I to play in the car:

Irrelevant Movie Reviews.

By way of explanation, I’ll just give you some of our Irrelevant Movie Reviews and you’ll see the game. Please feel free to add your own.

“If you like sleds, you’ll love Citizen Kane!

“If you like red coats, you’ll love Schindler’s List!”

“If you like whistles, you’ll love The Sound of Music!”

“If you like orange wedges, you’ll love The Godfather Part II!”

“If you like stupid little birds you hide in your pocket, you’ll love The Shawshank Redemption!”

And ’round and ’round we went with this. Granted, the piano in The Piano is much more integral to the story than the items named in our reviews — I actually consider it a character in the movie — but that’s why it just got funnier and funnier to us — because it just got more and more stupid.

I really hope to start a nationwide trend. There aren’t enough Irrelevant Movie Reviews, if you ask me.

update

Sorry I’ve been absent the last few days. We had some touch-and-go moments with FIL. So. He seems to be doing better now.

Thanks for the prayers and well wishes and I should be back after the holiday weekend.

a new favorite

whomer.jpg
Winslow Homer, The New Novel

Isn’t it gorgeous? I love everything about it, oh, but especially, those colors …..

the scope of his genius

As can be seen by the artwork on this blog, I’m a huge HUGE fan of William Adolphe Bouguereau. He was simply a genius — a genius — of the human form, of mood, of nuance, who worked as an academic painter in the mid to late 19th century, essentially swimming against the rising tide of Impressionism roiling all around him. The Academics loved him; the avant-garde mocked him. He was libeled, slandered. His name was removed from textbooks and encyclopedias for decades. He was quite simply, as the old saying, goes, born at the wrong time. He was a genius of a soon-to-be-bygone era and he suffered for that.

But he also, nearly single-handedly, opened the French art academies to women. HE did that. He painted 825 paintings in his life, a mind-boggling accomplishment, especially when you consider that most of them were life-sized.

And he loved his work with a unfading passion, saying even late in life, “Each day I go to my studio full of joy; in the evening when obliged to stop because of darkness, I can scarcely wait for the next morning to come…if I cannot give myself to my dear painting I am miserable.”

I can scarcely wait for the next morning to come …… how does that not clutch at your heart? Such joy, such childlike abandon.

But decide for yourself. I’ve included just two of his pieces below. His work runs the gamut from moments small to huge, subtle to searing.

The header image on this blog is cropped from a painting called “Petite Maraudeuse” (Little Thief). This is one of his small captured moments that I love so much, a pretty little thief caught, I imagine anyway, moments after her oh-so-naughty theft. She’s concealing her stolen pear a bit with that sly bend of her wrist, but frankly, I don’t think she feels all that bad about it. Hahaha.

Good Lord, I love her so much:

petite-maraudeuse.jpg

Then he breaks us in two with this, “The First Mourning.” Adam and Eve and the body of their son Abel, murdered by their other son Cain. I love this piece, but with an asterisk, a warning, some caution cones. It is SO direct, so unflinching, so private, really, that it’s a nearly pornographic depiction of grief. Nothing is spared. Nothing is left concealed, which is amazing because you don’t see faces or, rather, you don’t fully see faces. You see shapes, lines, color. And the poses, their relationship to one another, the frankness of Abel’s splayed body, the difference in his skin color compared to theirs. You almost cannot look — or you can look for only seconds at a time. That’s how it feels for me anyway. Like I’m an intruder, a voyeur, on a personal apocalypse. You are seeing the very moment their lives changed forever. Doesn’t it feel as if it’s happening as you look at it? For me, this isn’t some mere depiction or imagination. It’s almost as if Bouguereau had a vision from God of what that moment was actually like. Bouguereau just has that gift of immediacy. He puts you there. Whether a big moment or small, you’re there. You’re there. I don’t know how he did it. I just don’t. It’s his particular genius, his God-breathed gift, and I want it to be a mystery to me. Too much knowing can rob you of awe and there’s just not enough awe anymore.

Try to look at it. Try to take it in. It’s worth it, but I tell you, when I look at it, I literally feel helpless.

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Subtle and searing genius, both. I don’t know how that’s even possible.

I am, and always will be, a massive fan.

blog break

Well, as stated in the title, I’m taking a summer blog break. I’ll be back around the first week of August.

See you then, pippa!