To the person who found my blog by Googling “steno machine hard to learn?” — oh, God bless you for that little hopeful question mark. It’s kinda precious to me, actually. So I hesitate to write things, nasty things, that will change that phrase to “STENO MACHINE HARD TO LEARN!!!!” but I feel I MUST do so, because of your very preciousness and naivete.
I used to be you. Only I chose — fleetingly — “being a court reporter” to please my parents, not myself. So maybe you think, “Well, I’m different; I really want to do this.” Trust me: YOU DO NOT. You just don’t know yet how much you DO NOT want to do this. You are ignorant and by that, I don’t mean stupid. I mean, you lack the requisite knowledge to make a wise choice. And the schools won’t give it to you or — you wouldn’t enroll!
The drop-out rate at most schools is upwards of 85% because it is such a soul-crushingly awful experience. I tried to remind myself of the alleged heaps of cash that would just pile around my house like useful dust bunnies once I was finally a court reporter. Turns out, that never motivated me. The pretty dream of heaps of cash was crushed under the suffocating weight of the daily hideousness that is court reporting school.
First, dear stranger, you must learn the steno language. Trust me, it is a language that takes time to master much like any language. The difference is you don’t speak it, you write it. FAST. VERY FREAKIN’ FAST. 200+ wpm FAST. But in the beginning, on that bizarro keyboard, you will struggle mightily just to write words like HAT and DOG and TACK. And when you’re struggling with those words, just remember this: Not too many lawyers and judges repeatedly use words like HAT and DOG and TACK. Nope. Their words are generally a lot bigger, a lot less familiar. So, seriously, good luck with all THAT.
If I sound discouraging, I mean to be. I admit it. I’ve been a court reporting student and a court reporting teacher. I KNOW what I’m talking about. And I will be honest: Court reporting school is not some 6- to 9-month program. It will take you years. 3 to 5 years is average. When I was in school there was a woman who’d been there for 12 years already. I kid you not, dear stranger. Don’t let the schools fool you into believing you’ll be done in a year. YOU WILL NOT. You more than likely will not finish and will walk away with heaps of cash that you owe, not that you earned. I was fortunate to be able to pay cash while I was in school, so I didn’t walk away with debt. I just walked away. School was cheaper than it is now. I’m talking you’ll pay at least, oh, $25,000 — and that’s IF you finish in 3 years. God help your pocketbook if it takes you longer. (It just might.)
Second, dear stranger, every day you are in court reporting school, you will know FAILURE. Every damn day and I say this without exaggeration. This is what I ultimately could not handle. My psyche couldn’t take it anymore. For my own mental and emotional health, I had to stop. I was always such a good student, BA with high honors, blah blah, and that all fell away sitting and stressing behind that damn machine. Partly, because I didn’t want it with my whole heart or even a little piece of my heart, but partly because the schools are structured to keep you there LONGER so you will owe them more money. They are only there to help you fail. I’m sorry. It’s true. I’ve seen both sides of it, as a student and a teacher. It doesn’t serve their interests to help you get through school quickly. So when they dictate material to you, they make sure it will be the most impossibly difficult material they can find. It will not be “hop on pop,” or other material dotted with easy, one-syllable words. No. It’ll be more like:
The petition and physicians’ certificates prepared in this matter constitute the formal method of detaining a person who is asserted to be subject to involuntary admission. These documents are not evidence against the Respondent and do not create any inference that the Respondent is a person subject to involuntary admission.
And actually, that’s not that bad, but I can’t find anything worse at the moment. Oh, and did your mind kinda wander as you read that? Did you brain go somewhere less boring? Well, then you just blew it. Because if your instructor was dictating that to you as part of a test at say, oh, 160 wpm and you lost focus for a few seconds and started thinking about what you’ll make for dinner or how your nail polish is chipped or how you hate that girl’s haircut, you just failed that day’s test. Why? Because you have to pass at 98% accuracy.
So let’s do some dreaded math. Most tests are 5 minutes long. Let’s take that 160 wpm as an example. 5 minutes @ 160 is a total of 800 words. In order to pass at 98%, when you transcribe that from steno into English, you must get 784 words correct. You’re allowed 16 errors in all that. If you lose focus for a mere 7 seconds out of those 5 LONNNNG minutes, YOU HAVE LOST TOO MANY WORDS. You did not pass. You throw those notes in the trash, knowing that another day is lost to you. You go home and get drunk or torture small animals or whatever.
At every speed level, there can be up to 10 such tests you must pass just to get to the next level. You can go months — MONTHS! — without passing a single test. Because your mind wanders. (Not mine, of course.) Or because your hands shake with nerves. Or because you didn’t understand the context of what was said and wrote the wrong word, or several wrong words.
I do hope you’re getting this, dear stranger. Court reporting school is like a dementor from Harry Potter: It will suck your soul away and leave you a withered shell.
If this sounds good to you, by all means, sign up immediately! I have a machine you can have! Carpe diem!
Look, I only enjoy it now for the endless, ridiculous stories I have about it, not for the heaps of cash cushioning my ass as I write this post.
Finally, dear stranger, I don’t want you to go away all, “Jeez. What a downer. She sucks.” So I offer an exception to everything I just said.
You should definitely go to court reporting school if:
— your name is Tiffani or Ambyr or Sha’nal
— you’re kinda slutty.
— you’re just out of high school or between 17 and 20 years of age. Students of this age do quite well on the machine. They are young and stupid. They are not analytical in any way. They have no problem whatsoever disengaging their brain from the words coming at them, which is weirdly essential.
— you have not the slightest knowledge or understanding of the rules of English grammar. You hate English, actually, and barely speak it. You will do well, again, just writing all the priddypriddy sounds you hear. WEEE!!
— your vocabulary is atrocious. You hate words. Again, they’re all just sounds to you. Gablahdehedeludihank.
— you think there’s nothing wrong with this phrase: “The School of Hard Knox.” Good for you! GO FOR IT!
— you don’t care if lawyers make you write for hours on end while they’re eating takeout. You have no backbone. It’s okay. They got you a sandwich, too! It’s on your machine. Now …. just lowerrr your head — wait! Your hands stopped moving! — and, you know, take a bite. You could ask for a break — but you’re so superrrr nice!! “What does ‘asertiv’ meen??”
— you didn’t understand anything in that italicized paragraph above.
— you said “huh?” at the phrase “Carpe Diem.”
— you relish the chance to pay for a dementor-like experience.
So if words ARE all just sounds to you, if you cannot spell, if you cannot punctuate, if you hate English, if you love dementors, you will be a GREAT court reporting student. The only thing left to suck outta you IS your soul because your brain waved toodeloo a long time ago. You’ll get through school faster than most and then …. you’ll be the world’s worst court reporter. I saw it over and over and over again. You’ll reach that elusive goal because your brain is disconnected and then fall flat on your face when you discover you actually need it. Because it’s not just sounds, because context counts, because comprehension counts, because vocabulary counts — because lawyers and judges read your transcripts and pay good money for them.
It’s the strange paradox of court reporting schools: the dummies graduate and fail; the smarties fail to graduate.
That’s the best I can explain it to you, dear stranger. Which one are you gonna be?
(And the fact that you and I, dear stranger, just might be the only ones who even read this post should prove to you once and for all how deeply hideous the whole thing really is!)
Very funny!
I am taking Koine Greek right now. Learning the stenography machine has been compared to learing Greek.
That ain’t sayin’ much for stenography
Does this mean I know Koine Greek, then?
Oh, man, my first “grown up” job was at a law firm, and I used to LMAO at the deposition transcripts (snotty English Lit degree person that I am). Even though they use those fancy recorder thingies now, they still can’t get much right?
The best transcript I came across was a court proceeding where my cousin happened to be the presiding judge and he said to the defendant’s attorney, “Now, if you’ll just have your client dispose of his chewing gum we can proceed.” Talk about running a tight ship.
My court reporter is a mask writer, not a machine writer. She repeats everything said into her mask, and it’s taped on a four-track recorder. One track for the judge, one for her, one for counsel table/lectern, and one for the witness stand.
I type for her sometimes, and it takes a lot of getting used to, especially since you have to type EXACTLYwhat they say — no matter how convoluted or ungrammatical. I was used to medical transcription, where you kinda tweak what they say until it makes sense.
But yeah, it’s hard. My CR grades the state-wide licensing test, and last year not one person passed out of about 70. Not one.
Lisa — Yeah, you know, mask writing hasn’t really “hit” yet out here on the West Coast, but I think it will. I understand it’s much easier to master than the machine. It’s weird, because I believe mask writing is older than machine writing, but I think it’s going to make a resurgence — for all the reasons I stated in this post, and THEN some.
And yeah, the state test in CA is, uhm, HARD. 2 days of testing — one academic, one machine. The dictated test is 4-voice (Judge, defense attorney, plaintiff’s attorney, witness), 12 minutes @ 200 wpm. You have to pass at 97.5%. You can pass it in sections — i.e., you can pass the academics, but not the machine — BUT you’re not a certified shorthand reporter until you’ve passed it all. Basically, you can’t work yet.
I once edited for a reporter who took the state exam 9 times! At twice a year, that’s 4 1/2 years she spent trying to pass that damn test, in addition to the years she’d already spent in school. But here in CA, it’s now offered 3 times a year, I believe.
I also know — a well-known, but not officially acknowledged fact — that the state board modulates the test based on statewide need for reporters. A plethora of reporters? Impossible test. A dearth of reporters? Easier test.
And I completely believe you about that pathetic pass situation, your Honor. 😉
Wow – I’m glad that I didn’t go into this field of work. Though, I often thought of it because I can type pretty fast. Doesn’t look like it’s worth the headache though.
Kathi — It actually has nothing to do with typing. I mean, being a fast typist isn’t necessarily an edge. Playing the piano helps a bit, I think, because you are stroking “chords” of words.
Yikes! You almost made the CPA exam look easy by comparison! And I thought my job sucked. 🙂
Ok, somehow you made me feel better already. I have two exams today, one on Thursday, 3 next Tuesday and 3 next Thursday. And somehow I still feel better than the person attempting to be a court reporter.
Here I thought interpreting from English into ASL was difficult. Geesh!
OMG I cannot believe the arrogance you have to post something so horrendous as this! How DARE you be so judgemental of other people’s capabilities? You have absolutely NO IDEA how long it will take some of your readers to finish court reporting school, and someone who might have a lucrative career in this field might read this and be immediately discouraged to do so! That is so mean of you!
I finished court reporting school in two years and I am so thankful I found this career. Although it does take most people much longer than two years to finish school, but how long does it take someone to finish law school? How long do you have to go to school to become a surgeon? For the opportunity to earn a six figure income, why on earth would you publish something so discouraging? I’m so glad I’m not you.
Sharon ~ Well, you know, it’s just my opinion based on years of experience. It would be “arrogant” of me to write about something without any knowledge of it, which isn’t the case here. I’m free to offer my own opinion on my own blog that I pay for. I’m glad it worked out for you, but you’re the exception, not the rule. I’m not trying to be mean, just realistic. I went to court reporting school, had a repetitive stress injury, and got into the teaching end of things. Quite literally, I saw students who were in school for 10 years or more while the powers that be happily took their money year in and year out without ever suggesting they consider Plan B. There’s a lot of dishonesty and corruption in the running of these schools and it’s downright shameful. And, I’m sorry you don’t like it, but I’m sure I know more about court reporting schools in general than you do — having spent much more time in them than you. It IS true that younger students can zoom through speedwise but they generally don’t have the emotional or intellectual maturity for the job. There are exceptions, a few “court reporting savants,” and you may well be one. Good for you. Again, you don’t know what it’s like for students who languish in these schools because that didn’t happen to you. Consider yourself very lucky that it didn’t. The dropout rate in CR school is upwards of 80% for a reason. I don’t know too many court reporters earning 6 figures in this economy, but again, if that’s you, great. Rather, I know many court reporters who are struggling, actually, to earn the money they were promised. These schools make lots of promises to dewy-eyed young women about the untold riches their futures will hold. I only offer a counterpoint to that. Like it, don’t like it. It doesn’t matter to me.
(Also, “judgEmental” is spelled “judgmental.” One assumes you would know this from your court reporting school education, no? The word “judgment” comes up a lot in the legal process, does it not?)
Oh, and to answer your other questions: It generally takes 3 years for law school, so less time than CR school for most people. A doctor takes much longer, 8 years or so, but then again, I knew some students in CR school for a dozen years with nowhere near the earnings potential of a surgeon in the long run. Lastly, if this post discourages just one person from entering one of these schools, I’d consider it a job well done. I’m simply being realistic about the odds of success. (And, you know, Sharon, some people find this post funny. Not you, obviously, because you seem to take yourself quite seriously.) If someone wants to proceed with CR school after reading this/researching it, more power to them. More often than not, however, they’ll end up with a load of student debt and no career at all.
I found myself randomly revisiting this post tonight and wondering how Sharon is doing with her awesome six-figure career. (Actually, she never said she herself is earning six figures, just that there’s the opportunity to do so. Sure. IF you ever get out of school. Most won’t.)
It still cracks me up that she dared to come onto someone else’s blog and take them to task for exercising their right to create their own content. “How DARE you,” blahdie blah.
Well, I dare, Slappy. I dare. It’s my blog. How DARE you come into MY cyber house telling me how I’m supposed to run it? I don’t give a tiny rat’s ass about how well you did in CR school or how well you’re doing as a reporter. (Hope you fixed those spelling problems, though.)
You’re an exception and that’s nice, but this was written as a measure of the actual ODDS of success for the majority. Btw, where are all your other CR friends? Why don’t they come on here and tell us all about the heaps of CR cash they’re making too?
Lastly, I’m glad you’re not me too because that would mean I’d be you and you do NOT sound fun. Sod off, Betty.