Top 12 American Idol. Singing Diana Ross songs. Or something.
I hate the men in this competition. They all need to be set free to embrace their futures singing on street corners with a cereal box guitar and a pooping neon parrot perched on their shoulders.
So …. tonight, I’m celebrating the horror that is the American Idol male and blogging only their performances whilst sim-ultaneously giving them almost no thought at all. HOW is this possible, Tracey? Well, I’ll tell ya. Here’s how:
I handed a book to My Beloved and told him to write down the first 12 adjectives and the first 6 nouns he came to. He was allowed to flip the page, but he HAD to choose the first nouns/adjectives he came across on each new page. Each male contestant will get 2 random adjectives, drawn from our Adjective Bowl and then one noun, drawn from our Noun Bowl. Then we put it all together and whatever it is — THAT is what it IS, okay??? That describes their performance tonight — no matter how breathlessly AMAZING they may have been, which is doubtful.
Oh, so this is basically Mad Libs. I could have just said that. Also, I typed Mad Lobs first. So Mad Lobs it is.
I toldjah I wasn’t even gonna think about it ….
So onto The World Premi-ere of AI Mad Lobs:
Jason sings “A Diana Ross Song.” AI Mad Lobs says: A cheery, bemused handbag.
Curly McBrilloPad sings “Endless Love.” AI Mad Lobs says: A peeved, nifty frump.
Sanjaya von Daintystein sings “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough.” AI Mad Lobs says: A suspicious, luminous peacock.
Nosferatu sings “Some Song about How He’s Gonna Get Me — what is the name of this song??” Oh, and Diana Ross gives him the advice to “really look at the audience.” Oh, no, no, no, Nosferatu! Do not look at me with your pale, bloodthirsty eyes! I’m serious. Stop it. It’s killing me. Anyway, AI Mad Lobs says: Indefensible, frozen eggs.
Blake sings “Keep Me Hangin’ On.” AI Mad Lobs says: A joyous, militant horse.
Chris sings “The Boss.” AI Mad Lobs says: A mournful, celibate dolly.
All righty. AI Mad Lobs has spoken. Itiswhatitis. Man, I hate itiswhatitis. So very itchy.
If you didn’t look at Phil, it wasn’t a half bad performance. This is probably the nicest thing I’ve said about him. I wonder if it’d help if he wore make-up like KISS?
yeah, I agree, the guys need to go. shoo-shoo! And most of the girls too. shoo.
GREAT, original post on AI!! You nailed it – which is kind of scary huh?
This season of AI has me bored out of my head, so thanks for the Mad Lobs. They are the most interesting thing so far.
The boys are not as good as the girls…but the girls are mostly all the same…no variety. That, and I don’t generally like female vocalists, which brings me back tot he boys, who aren’t that good.
Where is the AI I have loved so well? WHERE?
I still haven’t seen it – Ladybug tapes them and I catch up later – but I am just dying inside thinking of “Whispering on Key” Sanjaya trying to belt out Ain’t No Mountain High Enough. But it could be worse, it could be Kevin Gouvias singing “Love Hangover.”
Very creative! I love it!
My daughter wants me to tape each show, but I just can’t bring myself to do it! What a terrible season!
I don’t think AI has ever hit anything like that first season with Kelly. I heard her and I just knew — she’s the one.