nosy survey: gifts and presents

Let’s say you’re a person and you have relatives and, at some point in your life, you’ve given these relatives gifts. Birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, Sorry I Recommended Rear Window gifts.

Does this scenario pretty much apply to everyone?

Okay. I have some questions then.

Copy and paste into comment window as per usual Nosy Survey practice.

1. When you were growing up, which family members received gifts from you, if any?

2. How were these gifts procured? Were they purchased? Home made?

3. What’s the best gift you think you ever gave to someone whilst you were growing up?

4. What is the worst “gift crime” you ever committed, i.e. snooping around, blabbing a surprise, secretly opening presents?

5. Am I the only one who got $5 birthday checks from Gramma? What’s the most Gramma ever ponied up for your birthday?

6. What age were you when your parents stopped giving you birthday gifts, if they ever have/did?

7. Do you think parents should stop giving birthday and Christmas gifts when their kids reach a certain age and what age would that be, in your opinion?

8. Are gift cards an acceptable gift in your family? (My mom is offended by them.)

9. Okay. You’re an aunt or uncle. Do you give birthday and Christmas presents to your nephews and nieces?

10. And ….. now the reason for this entire survey: Should aunts and uncles stop giving said gifts to nephews and nieces at some point? And, if yes, what point (age of kid) would that be??

Thank you for participating in my nosy survey, pippa.

You can see the questions that consume my fevered brain. I clearly ain’t thinking no lofty thoughts.

19 Replies to “nosy survey: gifts and presents”

  1. 1. When you were growing up, which family members received gifts from you, if any? My mom and dad.

    2. How were these gifts procured? Were they purchased? Home made? Made until I got a job more than paperboy, then purchased.

    3. What’s the best gift you think you ever gave to someone whilst you were growing up? Nothing really stands out.

    4. What is the worst “gift crime” you ever committed, i.e. snooping around, blabbing a surprise, secretly opening presents? Secretly opening presents.

    5. Am I the only one who got $5 birthday checks from Gramma? What’s the most Gramma ever ponied up for your birthday? Money was sent to my parents to spend on us kids, so I don’t know.

    6. What age were you when your parents stopped giving you birthday gifts, if they ever have/did? Sometime in my 30’s.

    7. Do you think parents should stop giving birthday and Christmas gifts when their kids reach a certain age and what age would that be, in your opinion? Age-based, no. My ex and I still give our daughter presents, and she’s 27.

    8. Are gift cards an acceptable gift in your family? (My mom is offended by them.) Yes.

    9. Okay. You’re an aunt or uncle. Do you give birthday and Christmas presents to your nephews and nieces? No. I have 7 brothers and sisters, so I have way too many nephews and nieces for this to be financially feasible. 🙂

    10. And ….. now the reason for this entire survey: Should aunts and uncles stop giving said gifts to nephews and nieces at some point? And, if yes, what point (age of kid) would that be?? If had had few enough to be able to afford to, I would probably stop when they turned 18.

  2. 1. When you were growing up, which family members received gifts from you, if any?

    Immediate family only (mom, dad, brother).

    2. How were these gifts procured? Were they purchased? Home made?

    Usually, mom/dad provided the cash until I started working. When I was very young, I imagine I made cards and such.

    3. What’s the best gift you think you ever gave to someone whilst you were growing up?

    Hmm. I don’t know … I think, after I learned to grill – when I was 11 or so – I made my mom a steak dinner for Mother’s Day.

    4. What is the worst “gift crime” you ever committed, i.e. snooping around, blabbing a surprise, secretly opening presents?

    My parents bought me a leather biker jacket for my 16th birthday. I found it in their closet several weeks early and would take it out and try it on when no one else was home.

    5. Am I the only one who got $5 birthday checks from Gramma? What’s the most Gramma ever ponied up for your birthday?

    Another hmm. I think my Ma-maw (my mom’s mom) would give us like $2 or so. My Granny died when I was very young, so I don’t really recall.

    6. What age were you when your parents stopped giving you birthday gifts, if they ever have/did?

    They still buy me something, even if it’s a dollar-store trinket. 😀

    7. Do you think parents should stop giving birthday and Christmas gifts when their kids reach a certain age and what age would that be, in your opinion?

    No. We’re gift-for-life kind of folks.

    8. Are gift cards an acceptable gift in your family? (My mom is offended by them.)

    Hell yeah. Preferred in some cases. An Amazon gift card from the Uncle/Aunt who always otherwise give Christian literature is WAY more appealing, thanks.

    9. Okay. You’re an aunt or uncle. Do you give birthday and Christmas presents to your nephews and nieces?

    We give Christmas presents, usually because we tend to celebrate Christmas together at my parents.

    10. And ….. now the reason for this entire survey: Should aunts and uncles stop giving said gifts to nephews and nieces at some point? And, if yes, what point (age of kid) would that be??

    If we don’t meet collectively, we don’t tend to buy gifts for all the nieces and nephews and cousins and etceteras.

  3. 1. When you were growing up, which family members received gifts from you, if any?
    – My parents, my grandma (we lived with her until I was eight), and then my brother and sister when they were born.

    2. How were these gifts procured? Were they purchased? Home made?
    – Purchased via allowance or begging Mom, until I was old enough to work.

    3. What’s the best gift you think you ever gave to someone whilst you were growing up?
    – I could not tell you. I have that picture on the old blog of my brother hugging me for something on Christmas day, but there’s no clue what it was.

    4. What is the worst “gift crime” you ever committed, i.e. snooping around, blabbing a surprise, secretly opening presents?
    – I tend to forget where I’ve stashed gifts, so my wife will often get stocking stuffers at random times during the following year. I have just recently found one item that I bought for her while we were ENGAGED. But at least she still gets them. The worst “gift crime” was for a family friend that happened to be around when I visited Mom for Christmas. I felt bad for not buying him anything, and snuck off to a gas station convenience store and bought him a fleece throw. Happy Jesus’ Birthday, man!

    5. Am I the only one who got $5 birthday checks from Gramma? What’s the most Gramma ever ponied up for your birthday?
    – Again, I couldn’t tell. I had gotten it in my head somehow, growing up, that it was unseemly to gawk at the actual gift (and especially money) because you’d make other gifters and giftees feel bad… so I would make a big point about reading the card first and not looking at the money until I was done and said thank you.

    6. What age were you when your parents stopped giving you birthday gifts, if they ever have/did?
    – They did for a while, mostly when I wasn’t able to make the trip home (1200 miles). Cards and calls always, though. I sat ill with my Mom to pause in her gift-giving, but there were hard situations in our lives at the time. My wife’s family have never stopped.

    7. Do you think parents should stop giving birthday and Christmas gifts when their kids reach a certain age and what age would that be, in your opinion?
    – I think that after adulthood and careerhood begin, the parents should no longer be the main gift supplier, and especially after marriage, but I can’t imagine ever stopping cold turkey.

    8. Are gift cards an acceptable gift in your family? (My mom is offended by them.)
    – We LOVES the gift cards! LOVES them, precioussssss!

    9. Okay. You’re an aunt or uncle. Do you give birthday and Christmas presents to your nephews and nieces?
    – Now that I am, yes I do.

    10. And ….. now the reason for this entire survey: Should aunts and uncles stop giving said gifts to nephews and nieces at some point? And, if yes, what point (age of kid) would that be??
    – Again, the primary giver may change, but there should always be a little something for the bippers even after adulthood. I could see how a person with 20 neices and nephews may have to economize, the way my family does with cousins.

    You have the best nosy surveys, Tracey!

  4. 1. When you were growing up, which family members received gifts from you, if any?

    Only immediate family: Mom, Dad, brothers

    2. How were these gifts procured? Were they purchased? Home made?

    Purchased most of the time, but I did do some cross-stitching back in the day, so my parents have several of those.

    3. What’s the best gift you think you ever gave to someone whilst you were growing up?

    I made a cross stitch for my dad that was all mushy and sentimental (A Father is someone you look up to, no matter how tall you grow) and he still — 25+ years later — has it hanging up in his office.

    4. What is the worst “gift crime” you ever committed, i.e. snooping around, blabbing a surprise, secretly opening presents?

    I don’t think I ever peeked, and I like keeping secrets so I never blabbed. Wow. That makes me sound like a Christmas a-hole, doesn’t it?

    5. Am I the only one who got $5 birthday checks from Gramma? What’s the most Gramma ever ponied up for your birthday?

    My grandparents HATED to give cash, and my other grandparents had too many grandkids and were sort of poor, so we didn’t get much cash from either set.

    6. What age were you when your parents stopped giving you birthday gifts, if they ever have/did?

    I still get presents. I just get to pick them out and they buy them. Last year I got towels. This year I’m getting new bedding.

    7. Do you think parents should stop giving birthday and Christmas gifts when their kids reach a certain age and what age would that be, in your opinion?

    The rule in my dad’s family was you stopped getting gifts from EVERYBODY when you were 21, or married, which ever came first. Then you moved up to the “draw names” crowd. But your parents always got you something, and so did your grandparents. It was just the aunts/uncles/cousins that drew names. I still get birthday gifts and Christmas gifts from my grandpa, and I’m 44.

    8. Are gift cards an acceptable gift in your family? (My mom is offended by them.)

    Yes. My dad buys himself whatever he wants WHENever he wants, so we always get him gift cards from [insert golf/sporting goods store name here], then he can buy at his leisure.

    9. Okay. You’re an aunt or uncle. Do you give birthday and Christmas presents to your nephews and nieces?

    Yes. I only have six though, between my husband’s family and my own. And only at Christmas, and only for around $20/$25.

    10. And ….. now the reason for this entire survey: Should aunts and uncles stop giving said gifts to nephews and nieces at some point? And, if yes, what point (age of kid) would that be??

    I stopped birthday gifts a couple of years ago, mainly because I’m not around them enough to know what they want, and because they’re older and they’re tastes are more expensive. Christmas, though, I’ll always get them SOMETHING, even my 25yo nephew, who would LOVE it if I just bought him groceries. (He’s a poor, starving musician.)

  5. 1. When you were growing up, which family members received gifts from you, if any?

    My mom & dad, my mom’s parents, my great-grandparents. I am an only child, so no sibs to buy for.

    2. How were these gifts procured? Were they purchased? Home made?

    Oh I made some of them of course…the tissue paper flowers, etc., but mostly I went shopping with an adult who helped me pay for what I picked out (withon reason, of course).

    3. What’s the best gift you think you ever gave to someone whilst you were growing up?

    I cannot remember anything that really sticks out as overtly awesome, but thankfully nothing sticks out as overly terrible either.

    4. What is the worst “gift crime” you ever committed, i.e. snooping around, blabbing a surprise, secretly opening presents?

    My gift crime was accidental. I was 8, and many of my friends were telling me there was no Santa, but I steadfastly refused to believe them. So one day, about a week before Christmas, I was looking for some paper in my mom’s office, and I found a stash of gifts in the closet. On Christmas morning, these items were all in my stocking or under the tree. I asked my mom if she was SURE Santa had brought all of the gifts, and she told me she was…so I knew the sad truth at last. But I never went looking for anything around Christmas time ever again! I love the anticipation and surprise! I have no desire to ruin the magic a second time.

    5. Am I the only one who got $5 birthday checks from Gramma? What’s the most Gramma ever ponied up for your birthday?

    I was not just an only child, but an only grandchild, and an only great-granchild on my mom’s side, so I got fairly spoiled on that side of the family tree, and I got some fairly large checks…but usually for Christmas. On the other hand I was lucky if my dad’s parents remembered my name. $5 was unheard of!

    6. What age were you when your parents stopped giving you birthday gifts, if they ever have/did?

    They only just recently stopped, and mostly due to their unemployment status, but they still call me at 2:09 pm (my time of birth). But even before that, the birthday gifts after I got married were more just thoughtful little tokens than anything else. Nothing expensive, but still absolutely wonderful in their thoughtfulness!

    7. Do you think parents should stop giving birthday and Christmas gifts when their kids reach a certain age and what age would that be, in your opinion?

    I have to admit, we stopped giving our older kids gifts on their birthdays after they turned 18 and graduated from high school…except for the big, significant birthdays (21 has been the only one so far). We now spend all of the money on their kids. But we usually spring for a family dinner, and we do stuff for them randomly throughout the year, pay for this or that thing that they want/need, in lieu of birthday gifts. We still do big Christmas gift giving, though.

    8. Are gift cards an acceptable gift in your family? (My mom is offended by them.)

    Yes! I loves me some gift cards! Especially when the choice (from a receiving point of view) is an elephant made from pipe cleaners and wash cloths or other assorted crafts/artwork/linens/clothes that I would not use in a million years. Consequently, I would rather give a gift card, than something they might hate.

    9. Okay. You’re an aunt or uncle. Do you give birthday and Christmas presents to your nephews and nieces?

    I have none on my side of course, but my husband’s family does gifts for all of the nieces and nephews (and great nieces and nephews) until they turn 18, then they go into the adult pool, and participate in the “name drawing” gift exchange.

    10. And ….. now the reason for this entire survey: Should aunts and uncles stop giving said gifts to nephews and nieces at some point? And, if yes, what point (age of kid) would that be??

    I think it depends on the size and closeness of your family, and of course, your financial wherewithal. If you are not close to them, it would seem awkward to me to continue the gift giving into adulthood. And even if you are close, but the gift giving is a hardship, they should understand that, and love you for who you are, and not what you buy.

  6. 1. Our parents were the gift givers. It was too much of a hassle to take 5 kids shopping for their four siblings, at Christmas, or four kids shopping for one kid on five birthdays. We kids would club together to get our parents something on Mother/Father’s Day, though. When we were adults, we drew names until we all had growing families.

    2. See above

    3. See above. This sounds like we were selfish brats, but it was just circumstance. Okay- I thought of one: I made my mom a small heart-shaped dish in Girl Scouts- one of the moms had a real kiln. She must have liked it b/c she kept it by the kitchen sink to put her rings in ’til she died in 2004. I have it now.

    4. One year, when we were about 7 or 8, my brother and I sneaked into the livingroom to see all the Santa presents while our folks were still asleep. We put presents under the tree, as they were wrapped, so there was surreptious poking and shaking, but not much else.

    5. G-parents sent the $$ and Mother bought gifts she though we’d like. With a mid-December birthday, though, I did get a lot of double-duty presents.

    6. They always sent a check, for birthdays and Christmas.
    My dad quit after my mom died, except for Christmas.

    7. We still do gifts for our adult children (33-23), though we may make it a ‘very early’ birthday/Christmas, if needed.

    8. We are the gift card family- some of us can never think of anything we want when asked, or what we want is too technical for anyone else to buy.

    9. Hmmm- I used to do small monetary gifts for the neices and nephews on my side when they were little. Now we only do graduations, weddings, etc.
    I’m going to skip my MIL’s insistence on getting the whole family together most months to celebrate that month’s birthdays AND Christmas AND all other major holidays with the exception of the 4th of July, b/c it’s kind of a sore point and I tend to bring the crazy on the subject.

    10. I think it depends on how close you are to them, emotionally and location-wise, how old they are and your financial capabilities. After age 18 and high-school graduation, a nice card and/or a phone call is appropriate.

  7. 1.My mom and dad.

    2.Sometimes they were homemade, and sometimes Mom would give me money to make my purchases. When I was working the gifts came out of my own money.

    3. I made my dad an ashtray and painted it.

    4. The worst gift crime I ever committed was by accident. I was looking for something in the closet and found a pair of pink fluffy slippers in the closet. It totally ruined my Christmas. I never seek out to find hidden presents….I love surprises !

    5.My one grandma always gave a gift….the other never gave birthday or Christmas gifts.

    6. I was in my early 50’s when my mom stopped giving me bday gifts. She now just sends a card. I’ll be 56 this year.

    7. I don’t think there is any “one age fits all” for stopping gifts to your children. My daughter will be 39 next bday and I stopped a few years ago, but this past year I brought her some dahlia bulbs and flower seeds for her bday. If I’m out during the year and see something I know she’ll enjoy I just purchase it for her and give it to her right away. I always send a card and phone them on their birthdays.

    8. Yes, gift cards are acceptable although I always try to get something they really will like and I’ve heard them say they wanted it. My husband and I LOVE getting restaurant gift cards.

    9 and 10. I only have one niece. Until she was 18, I always gave a gift because I wanted to. After she graduated high school and was in college I stopped sending bday gifts, but still sent bday cards. There were a few occasions throughout the first year that I sent a care package to her at school. I always remember her at Christmas with something little. Last year I sent her 6 pr of fluffy socks….I got them for a buck a pair at O** N**y.

  8. Cullen — /My parents bought me a leather biker jacket for my 16th birthday. I found it in their closet several weeks early and would take it out and try it on when no one else was home./

    Hahahahahahaha! I’m dying, picturing biker Cullen strutting his stuff all by his bad-ass little self.

    NF — /I felt bad for not buying him anything, and snuck off to a gas station convenience store and bought him a fleece throw. Happy Jesus’ Birthday, man!/

    That’s a pretty swanky gas station, NF. Ours have those pine tree air fresheners.

    Lisa — /Wow. That makes me sound like a Christmas a-hole, doesn’t it?/

    Hahahahahaha, Lisa! I knew it was you before I even saw your name, you Christmas a-hole.

    MM — Yeah. See, our Elder Nephew is turning 19. He got a pretty decent cash gift from us when he graduated HS a few months ago. He got a present when he turned 18, but MB and I feel like that should be the limit on that. I dunno. So we didn’t get him a b-day present this year. Makes us sound like douchebags, huh? I didn’t grow up with any aunts and uncles close by, so by comparison, these kids have TONS of love and support around them. I guess I’d like to think our involvement in their lives is more than just $$$ but now I’m questioning our decision.

    As far as Christmas is concerned my sister and I have BEGGED the family to go to a name-drawing system at Christmas and my parents — and brother — always say no. It’s ridiculous, in my opinion. Christmas gifts for your own spouse and then 15 other people too?

    Am I just a cheap ass? I mean, the last few Christmases, MB and I have not exchanged any gifts with each other because of the pressure to give gifts to everyone else.

  9. My court reporter and her family NEVER draw names. They buy for EVERYBODY — all parents, every brother/sister/in-law, every niece/nephew, grand-niece/nephew. Plus she buys extra gifts in case someone brings a boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other. It is IN. SANE. I cannot even imagine it. And they are not wealthy, just middle-class folks. INSANE.

    D and I don’t buy each other gifts at Xmas. For the last four or five years, we’ve bought something for the house and said that’s our Xmas.

  10. Oh! And once we started having babies, my older brother and I stopped giving gifts (along with spouses). I’ve bought for my younger brother and his wife so far, but this year they’ll have a baby, so that gift money will go to him.

  11. 1. When you were growing up, which family members received gifts from you, if any? I think just Mom & Dad. Maybe siblings later.

    2. How were these gifts procured? Were they purchased? Home made? Mainly homemade at school. School-made? We were poor, so hey, that’s what you get. I might have bought some w/ my allowance once that kicked in, but I don’t remember.

    3. What’s the best gift you think you ever gave to someone whilst you were growing up? I have no idea. Maybe a hand-made, hand-painted ashtray for my non-smoking parents that I made at public school? Everyone seems to remember their childhoods better than I remember mine. I don’t remember being drunk my whole childhood, but I can’t think of any other explanation. Glug glug.

    4. What is the worst “gift crime” you ever committed, i.e. snooping around, blabbing a surprise, secretly opening presents? I did the secret present opening thing a few times, but I was very good at it, so I only got caught once, I think. Other than that… I don’t know.

    5. Am I the only one who got $5 birthday checks from Gramma? What’s the most Gramma ever ponied up for your birthday? For birthdays, it’s mostly standard and still happens. One grama sends $20, one sends $15 or $20. For Christmas, though, we get $50 and $15-25.

    6. What age were you when your parents stopped giving you birthday gifts, if they ever have/did? They still send birthday gifts. And now they also send them to Frank.

    7. Do you think parents should stop giving birthday and Christmas gifts when their kids reach a certain age and what age would that be, in your opinion? Should? It just depends on the person giving. If they want to keep giving, they should, and if they want to stop, they should. My parents and Frank’s still give us presents.

    8. Are gift cards an acceptable gift in your family? (My mom is offended by them.) Frank and I looooooove getting gift cards and we would love giving them except that then the receiver knows how much exactly you spent on him/her, but if you buy something, there’s no way to tell because of sales, etc. My mom doesn’t like giving gift cards but likes receiving them. She’ll still give them in a pinch, but she prefers to pick out the gift. Frank’s parents do not seem opposed to gift cards.

    9. Okay. You’re an aunt or uncle. Do you give birthday and Christmas presents to your nephews and nieces? Yes. In fact, we don’t give to their parents anymore and instead give to the kids only (birthdays). For Christmas, we draw names in Frank’s fam and my mom’s fam, but then we still buy for our nieces and nephews separate from the drawing. Except probably not this year–people want presents, they can go ask the IRS for the bajillion dollars we had to give them this year. My dad’s fam does the whole “Chinese” gift swap thing, so you only buy a present if you show up for that.

    10. And ….. now the reason for this entire survey: Should aunts and uncles stop giving said gifts to nephews and nieces at some point? And, if yes, what point (age of kid) would that be?? We’ll probably keep going with them whenever we can afford them. But neither of us still gets separate (aside from drawing) BD/Christmas presents from our aunts and uncles.

  12. Could I just offer a general observation about my family? We receive cards ONLY from one set of grandparents (money troubles) and cards with check enclosed from another (they live far away and WHY PAY SHIPPING). A major reason for the check is so that I can do the shopping; they have no idea what sizes everyone is or which gifts would make them happy, because they rarely see the children. In fact, Woodjie will be four soon, and they’ve never met him. 🙁

    Another factor is the unevenness of the exchange if one of us has a bunch of children. I broke off the gift exchange thing with my brother (just kids’ gift exchange) because he has three children and I have six. Not really fair.

  13. My aunts on my dad’s side (my dad’s sister, and my dad’s brother’s wife — they are best friends and are referred to collectively by me and my brothers as “The Aunts”) still send me checks at Christmas for my kids, and, I assume, to my brother’s for his kids (and will for my younger brother’s soon-to-be-born child).

    I go and buy my boys Christmas gifts with that money — that’s the one time a year they get “name-brand” clothes (Abercrombie for the younger, American Eagle for the older, for example) because The Aunts are both ROLLING IN IT, and they send almost an equal amount to what we spend on our own kids.

    One Aunt (my dad’s sister) sends both boys money (around $25) for their birthdays, but the other one doesn’t. Don’t know why, but they’re so generous at Christmas that I don’t care.

    My dad’s sister has two granddaughters, and I know my mom and dad is as generous with them as my aunt is with us. Probably even more so, because my dad has six grandkids that she gives money to, and she only has two.

  14. 1. When you were growing up, which family members received gifts from you, if any?
    Just immediate family, and maybe I’d help pick out family gifts for a grandparent.

    2. How were these gifts procured? Were they purchased? Home made?
    Some were from allowance money, some I made.

    3. What’s the best gift you think you ever gave to someone whilst you were growing up?
    I don’t know about the best, but one year I surprised my mom by making caramel corn for her Christmas present. I must’ve figured out she’d be out of the house for a while–that takes a long time in the oven.

    4. What is the worst “gift crime” you ever committed, i.e. snooping around, blabbing a surprise, secretly opening presents?
    I wasn’t much of a snooper but I didn’t mind getting reports from my nosy little sister.

    5. Am I the only one who got $5 birthday checks from Gramma? What’s the most Gramma ever ponied up for your birthday?
    My grandfather wrote (writes) the checks and I’m embarrassed to say how many times he’s gone overboard. I know he sent money to my parents to buy us Christmas gifts every year when we were kids.

    6. What age were you when your parents stopped giving you birthday gifts, if they ever have/did?
    My parents still give me b-day gifts, nothing huge, but the parties stopped early on and that was kind of a bummer.

    7. Do you think parents should stop giving birthday and Christmas gifts when their kids reach a certain age and what age would that be, in your opinion?
    My parents would never be able to restrain themselves. I probably wouldn’t, either.

    8. Are gift cards an acceptable gift in your family? (My mom is offended by them.)
    They’re O.K. if they’re for something we know the person definitely likes/will use. Nothing lights up my sister’s face more than a Sephora gift card.

    9. Okay. You’re an aunt or uncle. Do you give birthday and Christmas presents to your nephews and nieces?
    I do, but I’ve scaled back for a number of reasons.

    10. And ….. now the reason for this entire survey: Should aunts and uncles stop giving said gifts to nephews and nieces at some point? And, if yes, what point (age of kid) would that be??
    I think it’s up to the individual, but I noticed that I stopped getting birthday cards from aunts & uncles once I hit high school or college. I guess it’s time I start sending cards to them.

  15. Skip to the end…skip to the end….

    My sister and her husband have no children. She loves to buy gifts; he’s more concerned about being frugal and saving for retirement. Their compromise for her 12 and his 4 nieces and nephews is “birthday and Christmas gifts until high school graduation” AND she sends care packages thereafter as needed. 🙂 She’s very creative with them, i.e. once all the gifts had some connection to the letter “B”, another time it was all beach themed. She sends to those in college, those in the military, and those living on their own. They love it; she buys clearance items and makes a game of it; and my BIL is happy about the budget and one less “to do” at Christmas. And the nieces and nephews (ages 13-30) LOVE their Aunt Dee.

  16. See, this is why these are the best nosy surveys. Who knew the politicking and balancing of feelings and responsibilities that went into something as simple as gift-giving?

    Tracey, in all seriousness, you are the best sociologist I have ever known.

  17. NF — Thank you. That’s so nice! I hope people like the nosy surveys as much as I do. I always learn so much!

    Kate P. — You sound like you have a very generous family. Please adopt me. I’m selfish. I love the caramel corn story. I make it for Christmas for my entire family because they insist on it and I know how long it takes!

    Also, this made me laugh:

    /I wasn’t much of a snooper but I didn’t mind getting reports from my nosy little sister./

    Yes, little Kate’s hands are clean. Hahahahahaha. What’s a little sister for except to do all the dirty work? I should know. I’m the little sister.

    MamaTod — I like the care package idea. Now that Older Nephew is away at college, I think we’ll be doing that. (His classes started today. A stats class at 7:10 a.m. Sure don’t miss that!!)

  18. “I should know. I’m the little sister.”–Little sisters get away with everything the middle child can’t! My sister was able to intercept and surreptitiously open packages from JCPenney! No lie!

    We totally take in strays, too (you have no idea how random our Thanksgiving/Christmas dinner guests have been over the years), so we would have no problem adopting you. (Maybe it’s because my mom is Irish and Sicilian?) Mail your applications in for Christmas now!

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