chatting with piper

So Piper is here a few weekends ago and we’re driving to the beach. She’s in the back seat, talking about the boys who like girls in her class and vice versa. I cannot tell you the level of psychic distress ol’ Tee Tee is having hearing this. I mean, the child is eight. I’m watching her in my sideview mirror talking quite animatedly on this entire topic. My blood is running cold. Or I’m having a thrombosis. Some kind of medical emergency is imminent, I’m sure. I dial 9-1 into my cell phone. Finally I say — because I must know, to see if I’ll ever sleep again — “Well, you don’t have a boyfriend, do you, Piper?”

And in the sideview, I see her lower her head and say in utter dejection, “Nooo. Mom and Dad won’t let me date yet.”

Clearly, she thinks this is the worst thing ever. I’m choking on a bone or something. I haven’t even eaten.

“Well, sweetie,” I say as I dial that final 1 on my cell phone and stroke out, “it’s a little soon, okay? You need to wait awhile, a long while.”

FOREVVVVVVERRRRRR ……. I scream in my head.

Later I call my sister and demand an explanation. What’s up with THAT? I say.

S says, “Well, last year, she started writing in her journal about this boy in class she thought was cute.”

“Last year when she was seven, you mean?”

“Uh-huh.”

This is clearly why I’m not a parent. I’d have an aneurysm on Day One.

S continues.

“And I was chasing boys on the playground when I was her age.”

Uhm, as I recall, I might have called her a tramp. Maybe. Also, other words similar to tramp. But it’s all very hazy. So I’m pretty sure I didn’t do that.

************

My sister, asking Piper about her visits to her relatives’.

SISTER: So, Pipey, you had four nights at Nana and Pop Pop’s (my parents). Was that too much time, not enough time, just the right amount of time?

PIPER: I think it was just right, Mom.

SISTER: And you stayed two nights at Tee Tee and Uncle (Beloved’s). What about that? Too much time, not enough time, just the right amount of time?

PIPER: Oh, Mom. It’s never enough time at Tee Tee and Uncle (Beloved’s)!

Oh, my heart. That kid will make it explode some day.

Just sayin’ is all.

13 Replies to “chatting with piper”

  1. She makes MY heart explode, and I haven’t even met her! I want to gobble her up. Also lock her in a closet until she’s 25. Not in a bad way–just to keep her from dating, of course.

  2. sarahk — I KNOW!! It’s bad. I found myself suddenly wanting to say things like “Oh, no, you don’t, little missy” and stuff like that.

    Scary.

  3. If Bill has his way, Julia will be locked up til she’s in her thirties, so Piper would be lucky to get out at 25! It’s so SCARY! They’re so young, and they’re talking seriously about boyfriends?? Julia spoke of having several of them – in her preschool class. She’s not even in kindergarten yet! Tracey, I have constant medical crises that aren’t ever going to stop, I think, til she gets married. At 12, at this rate.

    And – /Oh, Mom. It’s never enough time at Tee Tee and Uncle (Beloved’s)!/

    Aunthood completely rocks. I kind of miss when my sister’s kids were that young.

    Savor it!!

  4. It’s something in the water or something on TV. We homeschool and our girls still have this … boy like. I seem to remember little girls from my kindergarten days terrorizing us little boys with threats of kisses. I think it’s just something you crazy women do 😉

    Let me tell you how awesome you are that you let your nieces spend time with you. It’s great that the kids get that extended family bonding.

    You and MB keep being fantastic.

  5. My little girl is 7 and 1/2 and she’s already kissed a boy, my next door neighbor’s kid, her same age. The mothers kind of freaked out but the fathers, not so much.

    We ALL knew that it was MY child that would have instigated such an action, despite the fact that the boy is in love with her.

    I don’t sweat this stuff at their age and neither should you, though, I wish I my girl had an aunt like you (My sisters-in-law and sister have already raised girls and have taken less of an attachment to her like my wife and I did to their daughters when we were childless).

  6. I was so madly in love with Keith McAuliffe at the age of 9 that I was out of my mind. But, you know, I was 9. So we basically played kickball and that was how we expressed our love. hahahaha

    It really is awesome being an Aunt. Such a special relationship.

  7. And then when I was 11, I fell madly in love with Andrew Wright, and we expressed our love by chasing each other and stealing one another’s winter hats, as well as doing various re-enactments of Red Sox plays we admired. We had to take turns with who got to be Carlton Fisk trying to push the ball over the wall to be a homerun in 1975. It was a wonderful relationship.

    I’d actually like to have a relationship like that NOW. Sounds pretty good to me!

  8. Jayne — Tell Bill not to worry. I will eat Julia LONNNG before then.

    Cullen — Thank you. They’re the closest things I have to kids, so it’s not hard. I love them like crazy and I never had that myself growing up. Most of my relatives were far away.

    sheila — Hahahahaha. It does sound good.

    /We had to take turns with who got to be Carlton Fisk trying to push the ball over the wall to be a homerun in 1975. It was a wonderful relationship./

    Bliss.

  9. Actually, what am I talking about? How could I forget the love of my life when I was 8, David Trivoli? We made a tent under our garage stairs and, uhm, played doctor as I recall. I’m not sure that relationship ever saw the light of day.

    I’m a much worse tramp than my sister.

  10. and let’s not forget little milk monitor Sal, kissing the straw of her red-headed heartthrob in pre-school.
    In 1958.
    So, I think it’s the girls, not the times…

  11. Not enough time with you–so sweet. (Phoning the dentist.)

    Yeah. . . I got in trouble at about age six for kissing the neighbor boys at my grandparents’. The boys were cuter up in North Jersey. It would be nice to be able to say that when I go there in a few weeks!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *