here’s sumpin’

All right. Content of SOME kind. A meme I stole from Sheila.

An average American apparently does all of the following things. See if you are average:

— Eats peanut butter at least once a week – In what form? Does Reese’s count?

— Prefers smooth peanut butter over chunky – I really don’t have a preference here.

— Can name all Three Stooges – Manny, Mo and Jack, right? Wait — That’s the Pep Boys. Of course I know The Stooges.

— Lives within a 20-minute drive of a Wal-Mart – Yes. And I keep driving, frankly.

— Eats at McDonald’s at least once a year – Why?

— Takes a shower for approximately 10.4 minutes a day – Yes.

— Never sings in the shower – This is insanity. You sing in the damn shower, people, and I do, too.

— Lives in a house, not an apartment or condominium – Technically, it’s a “townhome.” La di da.

— Has a home valued between $100,000 and $300,000 – All right. We’re talking So Cal housing values, which are just insane. So, uh, ours is above that. Right now, anyway. But it wasn’t when we moved in less than 2 years ago. Again, it’s insane, I tell ya.

— Has fired a gun – Yes, and I’ll do it again. You don’t marry into My Beloved’s family and NOT fire a gun. He’s an Irish, he-man, mountain type and when I first met my in-laws, they took me out shooting — target shooting, mind you, nothing else, and that’s all I do, so don’t get all pinchy on me. I was laughably bad. But later that year, my father-in-law gave me my very own gun. I know it was a big gesture for him. It’s a little .22 automatic Derringer, just right for my small hands. It holds 2 shots and I keep it in the nightstand. If I ever had to use it, I would. Freak out on me if you want, but keep it to yourself. If someone broke into your home with mayhem in mind, you’d be saying, “Sure wish ol’ Tracey were here with her cool gun.”

— Is between 5 feet and 6 feet tall- Yup.

— Weighs 135 to 205 pounds – Yup.

— Is between the ages of 18 and 53 – Yup.

— Believes gambling is an acceptable entertainment option – What a waste. Really. It just seems foolish to me. Sorry.

— Grew up within 50 miles of current home – Right now, that’s true, but it hasn’t always been.

TA-DAAAAAA!!