I might start drinking

Tsk, tsk, tsk. Lazy, lazy blogger. What with all the celebratin’, I needed a break. Plus, I’ve got a case of the draahhhma camp blues. Our little show is Friday and, well, it could be rough.

Here’s what’s been scene and heard around camp lately:

— Another entitlement conversation with a parent that ended with “Fancy wants a bigger part. She’s very good. What can WE do about it?”

(Fancy is NOT very good. Fancy is adorable, but spooks when spoken to, never speaks above a whisper and WEEEE are not going to do ANYTHING about it!)

— The parent of Little Girl With Floozy Makeup grilling me about whether “the camp is good enough for her daughter.” Turn that question around, Mummy.

— My rapid transformation into the Simon Cowell of Kiddie Drama.

— One little girl telling me she has to stand still during the dance numbers because she has “way too many boo boos on my toes.”

— Needing to remind one little boy EVERY DAY to fight the urge to lie down in the middle of a song.

— Having one girl who has a new suggestion every five minutes — “She should wear red” “What if we all twirled like this?” “How about if we’re all barefoot?” “I could choreograph that part, if you want.” I guess what she really wants to do is direct.

— Having one little boy who follows me around constantly. Conversations go like this:

“Mrs. Tracey, look at my hair!”

His hair is perfectly normal.

“Wow!” I say. “It’s pretty neat.”

“Yeah.”

OR

“Mrs. Tracey, I found this on the floor!”

It’s the chewed lid of a pen.

“Can I keep it?!”

“Oh, it looks a little chewed up, hon. Just throw it away, please.”

He appears to go to the trash can. I’m distracted by other things. Later:

“Brandon, what’s that in your mouth?”

“It’s that thing I found on the floor. I like it. I decided to keep it.”

OR

“Mrs. Tracey, feel my heartbeat.”

I do, gingerly. It’s beating like a normal heart.

“Wow! Feel that.”

“I just ran really, really fast.”

He didn’t.

“You did? Good for you.”

“Yeah.”

OR

“Mrs. Tracey, do you see my shoe?”

“Yes, ” I say, waiting for what’s coming next.

Nothing does.

So I’m a little tired. As is this post. You know the feeling. 😉

4 Replies to “I might start drinking”

  1. As Homer said, “It’s funny ’cause it’s true!” Wait, you thought I meant THAT Homer? Clearly you don’t know me yet.
    As I read this post, I realized I was laughing AT the parents, but WITH the kids. Especially the director and pencap chewer. Those are classic.
    -M@

  2. Pingback: » stage fright
  3. Unfortunately, I recognize little Brandon. My darling daughter is the female version of him. I’m really working with her on it. My sweet little attention hog.

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