a trip with the banshee

My incorrigible 3-year-old niece.

Ready?

Quotes:

~ “I really gotta poop! It’s already coming out!! Mommmmy!”
Banshee, running to the bathroom, cupping her butt.

~ “Ohmanohmanohmanohmanohmanohmannn!”
Banshee, seconds later, groaning one loud extended poo groan. The kid can project.

Later that same trip …..

TEE TEE: Who did your pigtails, Banshee? Was it daddy?

TEE TEE’S BROTHER/DADDY: (Nodding his head with a grin)

BANSHEE: No! NO, DADDY!! Mommy did it! You didn’t do it!

TEE TEE: (uhm, jumping offa this imminent trainwreck)

BANSHEE MOMMY: (piling on, who knows why?) Yeah, Banshee. What did Daddy just do?

BANSHEE: He LIEDDD!

TEE TEE: (bug-eyed)

BANSHEE: You shouldn’t LIE, Daddy!!

BANSHEE MOMMY: Yeah, Daddy. Banshee, who doesn’t like lying?

BANSHEE: JESUS!!

TEE TEE: Sheesh, Banshee Mommy. Way to throw Daddy under the bus.

Later ……

Banshee was fiddling with her Fisher-Price plastic bakery storefront that she’d been forcing us all to patronize. Cupcakes. Cookies. Fruit. Popcorn. All massively overpriced considering it was plastic and inedible and all. It was near her bedtime, so she flipped the “Open” sign over. “See the sign, Tee Tee? We’re closed!” Then she paused for a moment. “Well … do you think maybe I should just pretend to be open?”

“You mean, as opposed to actually being open?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh. Okay.”

And at any given moment …..

ANYONE: Banshee, you need to get dressed.

BANSHEE: No!

ANYONE: Banshee, we’re leaving now.

BANSHEE: I don’t wanna!

ANYONE: Oooh, I like your bunny.

BANSHEE: It’s a doggie!

ANYONE: Oswald acted alone.

BANSHEE: NO! There had to be a second shooter on the grassy knoll!!

And, etc. …… ad infinitum …

10 Replies to “a trip with the banshee”

  1. While I’m sure it’s stressful sometimes, these types of events make it seem like Banshee is a typical 3-year-old.

    Piper, on the other hand, is a rare gem.

    My 8-year-old is just oblivious to the world. When she was 3 to, well, now … she would announce anything to the world regardless of what it was or where she was at. Bathroom, a recent mom or dad bathroom moment, the fact that her brother has a dirty diaper — all fodder for all to hear. Regardless of how many times we’ve talked to her about right place and time, inside and outside voices, she just can’t seem to think about that when she has something to say.

  2. She’s THREE ALREADY?! Whoa…

    That kid kills me. And throwing Daddy under the bus just… *WOW*. Holidays with your fam must be riot. How much wine do you and MB drink before you head over? 😉

  3. “Oswald acted alone.” BWAHAHAHAHA! That could be a new feature at the Pale Pages – Ask Banshee.

    Dear Banshee – I’m looking to invest. I’ve heard that mutual funds are a sound long-term investment with acceptable risk.

    Banshee: NOOO! Buy gold and penny stocks!

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