Because I am flush with Twilight saga fever. It’s true. It’s BAD. Basically, you turn into a teenage girl reading these books. Or, perhaps more accurately, you must turn into a teenage girl to truly enjoy the books. That’s what I think it is. Although, if you can’t or don’t want to remember the thrill of teenaged swooning, this probably isn’t the series for you.
I grabbed Twilight off the book shelf when we found ourselves at WalMart, of all places, on Christmas Eve morning, of all days, searching desperately and unsuccessfully all over town for chains, of all things, for our stupid car. We were supposed to be on the road already, to the deep dark middle of nowhere, but we’d heard a storm was coming along the pass where we’d be driving. And WalMart — a store I loathe for many reasons but mostly because, damn, them blue vests are grody — was, oh, our fourth bust of the morning, something like that? At that point, we were three hours behind schedule and hating each other a lot earlier than planned. As I wandered around the snack aisles, making eyes at the Little Debbie Snack Cakes, I suddenly realized I hadn’t packed any books. No. Books. Oh, no. NO. Sweet baby Jesus, NOOO!! I began to panic. One cannot go up to the deep dark middle of nowhere without being armed with a book to keep one from killing oneself and Twilight seemed the least objectionable of the selection available at GrodyVestMart.
But now I’m hooked. HOOKED. GAGA. HELPLESS AGAINST ITS POWER. Once I neared the end of book one, I even ventured to the one and only bookstore in the deep dark middle of nowhere hoping against hope that they’d have book two. When I saw they didn’t, I suffered a severe internal flip out and slowed waa-a-a-aay down on book one so I would not be bookless in the boonies. Once home, I basically sprinted to my bookstore and purchased the next two books — um, unmatching, such is my frenzy now. I mean, my version of Book One, Twilight, is a small paperback, with the movie Edward and Bella on the cover. My version of Book Two, New Moon, is a larger paperback, black with a flower, part of a whole cohesive look. And I bought the third book in hard cover, for Lord’s sake, because it’s not out in paperback yet and I simply had to have it on hand. The cover matches the look of my Book Two, but it’s hard cover. Nuts. I don’t buy hard covers. Or last time I did was during the Harry Potter frenzy. Sadly, I anticipate buying the fourth in hard cover too because I will need it. Like, Friday. I’m sure once my feeding frenzy has passed, the asymmetry of my collection of these books will really freak me out.
Finished book two in one day — today. Book three is for tomorrow, I guess.
Oh, and also? I even dragged MB to the Twilight movie yesterday with all the squealing teenage girls. I mean, I think we were the only people who weren’t squealing teenage girls. Still, not enough of a deterrent. Couldn’t you have waited for it to come out on DVD, Trace? No. No, I could not. Because I actually CHECKED and it’s not scheduled for that until Feb. or March. So yes. We went to the movie and looked like chaperoning weirdo parents or something. Whatevs. I do not care anymore. Gimme more teenage vampires. Gimme more star-crossed adolescent love. Gimme. Gimme. Now. I am completely vamped out.
(And …. I just clicked over and saw Sheila’s post about her books read this year and she mentioned this same thing. Just found that as I was writing this. Hahahaha.)
All this to say: Um, excuse me, I cannot talk to you right now …..
Oh, but Happy New Year!
2008, you can suck it. Boo-bye to you!