During the time we had our FOC blog up and running — all of about 3 months last summer — we became acquainted with a fellow who called himself Brother Raymond. He found our story and began commenting, or more accurately, ranting and lambasting me.
Oh, he hated me.
HARD.
But he also apparently hated the written word since he seemed to butcher it with callous regularity. His ire towards me had a snowball effect. He became angrier and more babbling and incoherent with each successive comment.
I’m posting his comments here and not password protecting them. If you didn’t read the saga, you may be at a bit of a loss, but not much of one.
Here is his first comment, from early on in our story. This is Brother Raymond at his calmest and most rational.
(More comments to follow. My comments in italics.)
I have been wounded by many Churches myself, as has my wife, and I have come to realize that Paul warned us that the last days would be perilous times, Jesus wondered if when he came he would find faith on the earth, and hypocrisy has been rampant through Christian history hence Jesus warning us about the tares and the goats. I also wondered how you would have reacted if some of the members walked up to you in sunglasses, (I would have thought nothing of the sunglasses, actually) refused your invitations to lunch, (I would have figured they had reasons they preferred not to go) quizzed you intensely on your spiritual beliefs as soon as they met you etc. (Where he finds in the story that either of us did this, I do not know. I asked the pastor some questions related to the church, not about his personal beliefs. If a pastor can’t handle those questions, he shouldn’t be a pastor.) It seems you think that the body of Christ should be able to read your mind and tip toe around your many issues. I stopped being surprised a long time ago when Christians don’t act according to their profession. (Uh, this is where we hugely differ, Ray. Christianity is not a profession, nor should it be.) As I have journeyed through Seminary I have wept over the reality that I don’t fit in and will probably have a hard time pastoring a church (ah, I see, it is a profession for you) because of the many things I resist within Christendom that I feel is unchristian (Like rampant militarism and patriotism). I do not give up though and whenever I walk into a new church I watch, I pray, I ask God how I can serve the people around me no matter if they are strong, hypocritical, loving or weak. I seek Jesus to lead me and expect to be slandered, misrepresented and possibly kicked out eventually. I know, its sad, but I love people and I am determined never to separate from others but walk in the light I have been given and let them separate from me while giving as much mercy and grace as I can. (Here’s what I do, Ray: I steer clear of TELLING people the ways in which I am a good Christian. That’s not for ME to say. I think that’s for others to say of us — or not.) I don’t know where you are at in your spiritual life now but there was great healing needed in your life. I am sorry you have been hurt by Christians. Cursed is the man who trust in man Jeremiah said. We are to lay down our lives for others and let Jesus be our guide. How do yo think Jesus felt in a corrupt religious system, rejected by the people he helped CREATE? Everyone forsook Him. You seem very self centered in your writing, judgmental, and looking for a reason to reject people who are trying to love you the best way they know how. (This one knocked me flat for a long time because there is truth in this. I AM self-centered and judgmental. I don’t think I look for reasons to reject people, so I won’t own that one.) We are to fellowship with others, bear the scruples of the weak, be slow to wrath, great in mercy, and desiring to be least among men and servants of all. When you are truly born again you die with Christ. It seems there is alot of flesh that needs to die, according to your writing, where you can see people as Jesus sees them. I always tell my wife we have to extend the same grace we desire others to extend to us. Yet, in none of your writings does it seem you desire to give people mercy, love and service you just pick apart their character flaws while wondering when people are going to serve you. (I thought about this one a long time, too. I need more mercy and love, that’s true; however, I don’t think the story picks apart people’s “character flaws.” I steer clear of making proclamations about people’s character in our saga. Even Joe. I talk about people’s BEHAVIOR/ACTIONS and my reactions to them. I did that deliberately because I think it’s important to make a distinction between character and actions. I even said that IN the story — the two are not always synonymous. Very good people are capable of behaving very badly in a given moment or given period of time.) It saddens me that so many people jump from church to church, looking to get their needs met or entertained (hm, I wish I HAD been entertained) rather than being led by God to serve a group. When I ask people why they go to their church its hardly ever that Jesus led them there but “I like the music”, “The preaching is great”, “Our pastor is a superstar”. If Jesus leads you to a place you just jump in and start serving without all the neurotic mental gymnastics you seem to be performing trying to protect yourself and pick people apart. (not to pick apart your character or anything) Sister, I pray you get healed, I pray Jesus becomes you center, and I pray you find a place where you can serve others without caring about self, reputation or what your going to get out of it. Don’t go to church be the church. In Christ, In Love, (yes, I do feel loved) Brother Raymond.
I sat for a long time with the things he said to me and he’s right on certain things. There are things in my character I will always struggle with. I will always struggle with being, well, kind of an asshole on too many levels. And this isn’t me, channeling my inner Baldy (head of the FOC) false humility™ and saying, “I’m the worst sinner I know.” I don’t think I am, frankly, which is where that judgmental thing kicks in, I guess. But I’m not offended by his opinion of me. No, I’m actually offended at his preachiness and incoherence and broad brush of things. He writes macro. He pronounces and declares and declaims. He forms conclusions about things without being at the conclusion of things. That’s what bothers me. There’s a certain type of Christian who will form conclusions with inadequate information, without the full story, or without even personally experiencing something. Oh, like the people who refused to see The Last Temptation of Christ years ago — which we saw and had great discussions about — or the people who refused to read Harry Potter — which we both read and loved. These people will take hearsay or snippets of information culled from various “acceptable” sources and form what they think is a fully formed opinion based on half-formed ideas. I have no respect for that. GO SEE The Last Temptation of Christ THEN form an opinion. READ Harry Potter AND THEN have your say.
You know, sometimes, I start reading a book and don’t like it. Last year, I read what I now consider to be one of my favorite books of all time, Villette, by Charlotte Bronte. But honestly, at the beginning I didn’t like it, I contemplated stopping, I just wasn’t getting it. There were two choices: keep reading or stop. I kept reading and slowly and in a huge breathtaking way, my opinion changed. I went from total apathy to absolute love in the course of, oh, 300 pages, but beyond that, I’d earned the right to have an opinion because I’d finished the story.
So FINISH the story, dude.
If you hate me when it’s over, so be it.
Because then I would say you’d honestly earned that hatred of me.
