Category: the best thing ever blog game

THE MINI COOPER (Juan Carlos Ferrero, ESP)

HAS JUST RUN OVER

THE SEX PISTOLS (Janko Tipsarevic, SRB)

A truly terrible turn of events for the group. Reached for comment by some intrepid chick reporter in the locker room, The Sex Pistols went off on an uncharacteristically non-tennis-related rant, saying, “Anarchy for the UK. It’s coming sometime and maybe I give a wrong time stop a traffic line. Your future dream is a shopping scheme cause I wanna be anarchy. It’s in the city.”

They were also heard mumbling to the hapless chick reporter, “No future no future No future for you No future ….” which seemed to truly upset the poor girl. This unfamiliar Wimbledon locker room vibe was only aggravated moments later when The Sex Pistols vomited copious amounts of Gatorade and crumpets all over the young lady’s shoes.

Seconds later, the audio was mysteriously cut — too late, sadly, to miss the puke sounds being broadcast worldwide — and the chick reporter shakily asked, all bug-eyed and barfy, to go “back to the boo-bo-b-b-boof –“ Booth, we imagine. Which they did, before she ever got that word out.

So now …..

THE MINI COOPER (Juan Carlos Ferrero, ESP)

IS SLATED TO GO UP AGAINST

THE JUDICIAL SYSTEM (Roger Federer, SUI)

who/which strolled leisurely into the final 8 after ol’ Winston Churchill claimed he had a torn stomach muscle, but obviously really has a prescription drug addiction problem. So for the last couple days The Judicial System has just been sittin’ around on its lazy judicious bum, eating straawwb’ries, I guess. Typical.

See you on the courts, peeps. 😉

Drat! DRAT!! Rain delays in London today.

BUT — there is still news. FOUR more of you are now officially IN the game — randomly assigned a player who’s made it to the 4th round.

Check here to see!

ALSO: Winston Churchill/Tommy Haas (GER) has withdrawn from the tournament, suffering from a torn stomach muscle. Reached for comment, Winston Churchill said, “I took pain-killers in the middle of the match and they helped, as did the adrenalin you get from playing a match, but the ultrasound showed that there was a bad tear.”

Sure, Winston Churchill. Suuuure. All hopped up on pain-killers and adrenaline you are. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Really. I had no idea. “British Bulldog” my butt.

Anyway — No breakfast at Wimbledon for you. You’re off to Germany with Mr. Haas, I guess. Eat some strudel; you’ll feel better. Smush some more of those pain-killers in it.

Oh!

Wait! I almost forgot this match-up! Apparently, coming soon-ish, in some unknown rain-free future, is:

WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE (Thomas Berdych, CZE)

VS.

TYPHOO INSTANT WHITE TEA (Jonas Bjorkman, SWE)

Uhm, Mr. Shakespeare, sir, I’m worried about you — what with those stifling hose and stuffy breeches and that codpiece unnecessarily broiling your boys. I mean, you’re up against tea! TEA! A refreshing beverage! Enjoyed hot or cold! But cold — COLD! — it’s so, well, revitalizing and beneficial and all.

Please do consider, sir, letting your cod swing cool and free.

I’m just sayin’ is all.

We haaave:

THE BEATLES (Andy Roddick, USA)

VS.

SIMON COWELL (Paul-Henri Mathieu, FRA)

ANND:

JANE AUSTEN (Richard Gasquet, FRA)

VS.

DOUGLAS ADAMS (Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, FRA)

FINALLY:

THE MINI COOPER (Juan Carlos Ferrero, ESP)

VS.

THE SEX PISTOLS (Janko Tipsarevic, SRB)

Now, shake hands everybody.

Excessive cursing will get you fined.

Excessive grunting is distracting and gross. Remember, the Duchess of Kent may be watching.

And Sex Pistols, this IS the All-England Club. You must wear the white. Actually, you too, Simon Cowell. Thennk you evahh sa’much.

Oh, and sorry to sic Simon on you, Beatles.

Okay. Well, The Best Thing Ever Blog Game boils down to this: Random meaningless chance combined with my abiding love of tennis to create a spicy melange of MAADDDDNESS!

So as some of you may know, The Wimbledon Championships are being played right now at The All-England Tennis Club. That’s why I asked you to pick something distinctly English. In honor of the occasion, you see.

So it works like this: The fortunes of your personal Best Thing Ever are now tied to a particular player in the Championships. Each of your Best Things is paired with a player and your Best Thing will share the same fate as your player. See how it works? Oh, and the tournament is utterly merciless single elimination. Naturally, in the end, only one will prevail as Champion and The Best Thing Ever: England!!

Here’s what I did:

First of all, I decided, rather randomly, to stick with the men’s singles side of the draw. Then, I allowed for 16 entries because the 4th round of play starts tomorrow and there are 16 players in the round. Right now, because of rain delays, only half of the 16 have been decided. So eight of you are assigned right now; eight will be assigned by — probably, weather depending — tomorrow.

Then I wrote the players’ names on slips of paper and put them in one bowl. The names of your Things on other slips of paper and put them in another bowl. Then I turned to the dashing and handsome MB for help and he said, “What the heck do you want me to do??” then I had to overexplain it — like now — to get him to start pulling out one player/one thing, one player/one thing, til they were all paired up! Uhm, all except half! (Remember how half of your Things are player-less until tomorrow — Monday?)

So go to the post below to see if you’re paired yet — and if you are, WHO YOU’RE PAIRED WITH!!

Stay tuned for each day’s matches, winners, and losers.

No. Wait! I take it back! You’re ALL winners! Everyone comes first! It’s all GOOOD!

Personally, I’m looking forward to some interesting pairings. Like maybe some, oh, Jane Austen v. The Sex Pistols ‘er somethin’!!

See you on the court, peeps. 😉

Okay. I have the final list of players for The Best Thing Ever: England.

Before I get to that, a few things: (What?? No Dickens?!! Okay. I just had to get that outta my system.)

No, really — I had more choices than slots available, so I went based on time, first-come, first-served as I said before. Also, someone emailed me to ask why his choice wasn’t listed and all I can surmise is that the comment must have gone into my spam filter, where I then accidentally deleted it. If any others of you see that your choice isn’t here, it’s either that or just getting in a little too late. Sorry! But thanks to everyone who made a choice!

Okay, already. The list!

The Final Playahs:

1) Mini Cooper — Anita
Wimbledon Men’s Singles Player — Juan Carlos Ferrero, ESP

2) Jane Austen — Sarah
Wimbledon Men’s Singles Player — Richard Gasquet, FRA

3) The judicial system — sheila
Wimbledon Men’s Singles Player — Roger Federer, SUI

4) The Magna Carta — Dave
Wimbledon Men’s Singles Player — Novak Djokovic, SRB

5) Thomas More — Sal
Wimbledon Men’s Singles Player — Marcos Baghdatis, CYP

6) Alec Guinness — ricki
Wimbledon Men’s Singles Player — Mikhail Youzhny, RUS

7) Monty Python — Missy
Wimbledon Men’s Singles Player — Rafael Nadal, ESP

8) Douglas Adams — Cullen
Wimbledon Men’s Singles Player — Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, FRA

9) The Beatles — JLR
Wimbledon Men’s Singles Player — Andy Roddick, USA

10) William Shakespeare — RR
Wimbledon Men’s Singles Player — Thomas Berdych, CZE

11) Winston Churchill — Witness
Wimbledon Men’s Singles Player — Tommy Haas, GER

12) Typhoo QT Instant White Tea — Kathi
Wimbledon Men’s Singles Player — Jonas Bjorkman, SWE

13) The Sex Pistols — red fish
Wimbledon Men’s Singles Player — Janko Tipsarevic, SRB

14) Margaret Thatcher — Katie
Wimbledon Men’s Singles Player — Nikolay Davydenko, RUS

15) The Book of Common Prayer — Andy
Wimbledon Men’s Singles Player — Lleyton Hewitt, AUS

AND

16) Simon Cowell — the lovely and talented sarahk
Wimbledon Men’s Single Player — Paul-Henri Mathieu

GOOD LIST, EVERYONE! EXPLANATION TO COME SHORTLY! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Remember: Winner gets ONE WHOLE POUND of lovely luscious coffee — hand-packed by moi. Bo+nus.

ONE SLOT left!!

Also: Many comments from new commenters have gone into moderation. Some choices have been the same as ones already chosen. I’m going on a first-come, first-serve basis, but be sure to check the list to make sure yours isn’t already there! Thanks, everyone!

Fill it up and I’ll be organizing this later on Sunday/ maybe into Monday.

Good night!

(Btw, it’s kinda killing me not to be able to have a pick here!)

All right. Get over it, Trace.

Sigh. Okay. Here’s a list of the players and choices so far for The Best Thing Ever blog game:

(For those of you who picked more than one, I went with the first one you mentioned. Tell me now if you want to change it!)

1) Mini Cooper — Anita

2) Jane Austen — Sarah

3) The judicial system — sheila

4) The Magna Carta — Dave

5) Thomas More — Sal

6) Alec Guinness — ricki

7) Monty Python — Missy

8) Douglas Adams — Cullen

9) The Beatles — JLR

10) Shakespeare — RR

11) Winston Churchill — Witness

12) Typhoo QT Instant White Tea — Kathi

13) The Sex Pistols — red fish

14) Margaret Thatcher — Katie

15) The Book of Common Prayer — Andy

ONE SLOT LEFT!!

Remember: Winner gets ONE WHOLE POUND of lovely luscious coffee — hand-packed by moi. Bonus.

Okay, peeps. This is your vague and vexing introduction to “The Best Thing Ever” Blog Game. I can’t go into too much detail for a few more days, BUT I do need some things from you right now to get the game going:

First: Well, hm, I suppose I need players. So why don’t you all just decide to play right now, knowing absolutely nothing about it? I really do think that’s best. I mean, blind, ignorant commitment to God-knows-what always works for me. Just allow yourself to be dragged along. Surrender. Succumb. Sell your soul. You know, for fun and stuff.

Second: I need those people who just decided two seconds ago — blindly, ignorantly — to play this game to do this:

Choose the thing that, in your opinion, is The Best Thing Ever to come out of England.

Simple.

I don’t care what it is. It could be a person (even though, yes, I know, a person is not a thing, but whatever, that’s the name of the game and I’m not changing it). It could be a historical event. It could be a movie. An actor. A sport. A book. A food (‘tho unlikely). Again, this is your opinion. No right or wrong here. No judgment. Pick that English thing (or person — a very very valuable non-thing) that you really truly love or admire or appreciate most. I want you to be totally invested in your choice. Don’t just say, “Uhm, okay …. I can’t really think of anything but I wanna play …. so Posh Spice, I guess. Ho-hum.”

NO!

There’s no crying in baseball and there is NO blase in The Best Thing Ever Blog Game!! If your choice is bangers and mash, then embrace it! Embrace it with a full heart and a sound mind and all ten of your grubby little banger-soaked fingers!

Third: I cut the list off at 16 things. Which is ridiculous, I know, as if “There are only 16 good things ever to come out of England, nyah.” Or, well, worse: “There are not EVEN 16.”

(Hm, okay. Don’t think about that, Trace. Forge ahead. Blindly. Ignorantly. As only you know how.)

So …. 1 choice per person. If 16 people don’t step up to the plate — blindly, ignorantly — then I will …. well, I don’t know yet. But I can tell you this: I will be ….. uhm …. extremely proactive. Or WORSE. Grrrrrr, etc.

Also, this just occurred to me: Posh Spice is NOT an option. Because I said so. See? Extreme proactivism.

Also also: Winner gets superdelicious COFFEE!! And if you don’t like coffee, you get to — PRETEND!! Hooray for Mama teaching you good manners for awkward moments just like this!

Please don’t ask what this is all about. Please don’t offer a guess. All will be told shortly.

So. 16 people choosing 16 of The Best Things Ever from England.

Ready? GO!!