100 hours later, 32 of them spent in the car — and not making out or having my clothes ripped off or, you know, anything fun like that, oh no, but just driving driving, oops, killed a bunny, driving, no, that was a small old man, driving driving, you’re going to kill us, driving driving, do you really have to sing “She’s a Bad Mamma Jamma,” driving driving, one of us has to die, driving driving, I think it should be you, driving driving, up into the sun, out into the abyss, whatever — I feel it only fair to tell you that my total psychotic break happened yesterday in the middle of Only God Knows Where at approximately 1530 hours and that blogging this week will come from a cold dark — yet oddly familiar– place of utter non compos mentis.
Also, I feel I need to inform you that the Denny’s in Morgan Hill, CA has horrible savage one-ply toilet paper whose very existence seemed to herald the arrival of Ye Olde Psychotik Breake that now has me in its suffocating grasp. MB, on the other hand, is sound asleep, the wiener. But don’t worry. I will do whatever I can to drive him insane. I have a contractual obligation to do so, you know. It’s my purpose in life.
But I’m back. I am WIPED OUT.
MUCH to tell …..
Some of you seemed to have an idea where you thought I was, based on the photo below. So I’m just curious — where was I?
Seriously. Please tell me. Where was I???
I was thinking the Trinity Alps area. I saw some of that about 30 years ago as a kid.
I don’t get the problem with driving or the one-ply, but yeah, singing “She’s a Bad Mamma Jamma,†probably would end in tragedy in my truck.
I pray the whole “Ye Olde Psychotik Breake” thing is a bit of hyperbole.
I thought perhaps you and MB had met SarahK and FrankJ at Yellowstone. If not, then I am DYING to know just where you guys have been and what you got to do, and whether you had a chance to RELAX and put everything unpleasant up on a high, unreachable shelf for a time. I worry, you know. It’s what I do.
And I carry wet-wipes with me everywhere so that I don’t have to take any chances with capricious quick-stop managers’ TP money-savers. 🙂
I’m glad you’re back. Dish, baby, dish!
Washington State, maybe? I don’t know, I am from the East Coast–the picture doesn’t look familiar to me. But I sure wouldn’t mind being there!
I thought I had a decent guess until you threw in the bunny shaped old men – that threw me off.
Dave E — You don’t get the problem with 32 hours of driving AND one-ply TP????
Then you are clearly a saint and a guy.
BUT …. you are CORRECT as to the location, so hooray for you!!
GraD — I wish we would have met Sarahk and FrankJ at Yellowstone. That would have been a blast.
And, of course, I’ll dish. Gotta gather me wits first.
Brian — “the bunny-shaped old men,” hahahahahahaha.
Lewis and Clark National Park? Just a guess.
Two minutes late. Story of my life.
I thought you were off to see the Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota.
I mean, there’s Elvis-o-Rama, the Tupperware Museum, Boll Weevil Monument, and Cranberry World; The Shuffleboard Hall of Fame, Poodle-Dog Rock, and the Mecca of Albino Squirrels…
Welcome back!!! I hope it’s nothing but soft, 2-ply TP from here on in.
I just Googled “Trinity Alps”… DANG, GINA! You guys DID do a lot of driving.
I’m not going to be QUITE as jealous, now, as when I thought you guys had gone off on a SarahK-FrankJ junket. I love Frank & Sarah; they are hilarious companions.
Bunny-shaped old men.
Just wow.
That’s a mental image I’m now going to have to apply brain-bleach to. hehe
Welcome back. I hope that you were able to get some rest. And, I hope that the horror of hitting a bunny shaped old man won’t haunt you forever.
Hahahaha. I’m sorry, trace. I’m not laughing at you. The one-ply is nightmarish.
I’m laughing at GraD. She thought you were meeting us in Yellowstone, and that’s funny because you previously said this trip could change everything. Yes, like meeting Frank J. and SarahK is a life-changing experience. Haha, GraD. I love you. (P.S. You, too, are a hilarious companion.)
And yes, I would have loved to vacay in Yellowstone w/ you and MB.
But right now I’m dying to hear the results of the trip.
p.s. Sorry about your psychotic break. I hope it’s a passing one.
Kathi — Poor bunny-shaped old man.
sarahk — /Yes, like meeting Frank J. and SarahK is a life-changing experience./
Hahahahaha. Well, obviously, it would be.
And NF — Your knowledge of the whimsical and obscure features of our nation is truly impressive.
Hey, all I know is that after an evening of karaoke with Frank & Sarah, I have never been the same. So yes, it probably would be life-changing. 🙂
No fair having a psychotic break without me, though. My husband made the mistake this afternoon of suggesting that we taper my bipolar daughter’s meds off for the summer to save money. I reminded him that her meds are much cheaper than institutionalizing Mom… or paying rent for her apartment at least two states away. [eyetwitch]
Tracey – heh, I just quoted the Weird Al song. But it was from memory, which is either impressive, sad, or some of both…
I so hope you and MB enjoyed your trip, sans psychosis. It looks like an incredible place.
Gotta admit, I’m a little envious of all y’all, hanging out together singing karaoke in the Great Midwestern US of A. If I bring 2-ply can I come next time?
It’s not sad, ‘Fly, because I recognized them. . . and I refuse to be sad!
So, I don’t know where the Trinity Alps are, and quite frankly, I’m too lazy to look. Let’s be honest.
But I wanted to tell you that since you posted your annoyance about the order of payment/coffee receipt, I have been paying much more attention and making a genuine effort to actually give people their coffee before I take their money. (At least in the cafe; the drive thru is a whole other beast…)
Can’t wait to hear about your adventures!
Katie