So last year around this time I did this colon cleanse because I was feeling somewhat, uhm, impacted, you know? Plus, it made all these promises that I would lose 20 pounds in 10 minutes and be ten years younger in 1 minute and go on to become America’s Next Top Model and cool stuff like that that I actually believed. I would say it did NOT do that, although the “cleanse” part of the title was very accurate. It did that; it did that well, and it did that with very little to-do. Which I appreciated. Really.
Mostly though — let’s be honest — the product skerred me bad and traumatized me forever and caused me to whip out my credit card immediately once I got a gander at the endless photos of horrible aliens that were most likely having a huge raucous hoo-dang in my intestines right this very minute. They told me that death lived inside me and the photos sure as hell looked like that. I did not want death living inside me, you know? He needed to be evicted — and pronto!!
So why am I telling you all this? Well, because I’m doing a shortened version of the cleanse right now.
Also — hey — who wants to do it with me??
Mostly, uhm — BE FOREWARNED IF YOU ARE FAINT OF HEART OR STOMACH OR EYEBALLS — I just really have to share these photos because my theory of horror is that horror must be shared in order to lessen the horror of the horror.
I just can’t be alone with them anymore, okay??
So.
Carry on.
Or not.
SO not checking out those photos, but, uh, the herbs lady I talked to about this stuff said make sure you take a good multimineral whenever you cleanse all those twinkie wrapper bits and what-have-you (weird story from my aunt). I care about you, Miz T, so I’m sharing! 🙂
Girlfren I am all about the theatrical, fantastic, gruesome and shameless, so of course I checked out the pix. It’s cute those peeps all so excited over their doodys. “World! World! Come look what I made!”
Seriously, is that stuff liquid sand paper ’cause it looks like it just rug-burns the hide off your insides and makes it shed? Be gentle with your Pink Stinky-maker!
I don’t think I can even go there. Really.
TMI Tracey…that’s all I can say…TMI
I’m with you Kathi…I don’t think I can go there either…
Ack! My eyes! My eyes!
Ok, so I just had to go and look at the site…now I’m wondering if I need to do this and does it really work or is it all just hooey…
Did it really work for you? I guess it must have done something if you’re doing it again but I’d trust a testimonial from you more than I would from some website hawking the next miracle cure…
sam — you know, it DID work. I seriously do not know what all these pictures are showing and if they’re for real — well, clearly — there are people LOTS worse off than I was and am. Nothing like that happened to me, thank GOD. But I think it’s a good product. It’s gentle on your system. I mean, I looked around for a while and lots of these products cause unwanted side effects that I won’t go into. And, frankly, peeps, maybe it IS TMI, but if there’s even a chance you have an alien in your body or death living inside you, don’t you want it OUT??? And I didn’t give y’all TM about my personal I, now did I? 😉
So don’t come crying to me when your gut explodes with alien and you’re in the ER wailing, “I shoulda listened to Tracey!”
I mean, how embarrassing will that be for you??
Not to mention deleterious to your health.
I’m just sayin’ is all.
Yeah, about that weird poo…
See- when you flood your body with insoluble fiber, it has to go somewhere. This is the cause of the interesting excreta.
“But I never saw that before!”
“Did you ever flood your body with insoluble fiber before either?”
“—um, no.”
I’m with Chai-rista. Leave your colon alone, peeps! Eat an apple or something.
Ah yes, the colon blow-out sale.
I remember gawking at those pictures a while back … My fear is that I will be … trapped … by the INSISTENCE of the program … and I’ll be stuck in the Lincoln Tunnel, or on a stalled subway – and suddenly – my colon will need to blow – and I’m going to be in a truly dire situation then.
Like: can you stop the train from leaving the station if you need to?? Just for convenience’s sake?
Um…I’m not a doctor or anything, but I’ve read that some of the, uh, “stuff” that comes out, is, in some cases, intestinal mucosa and the the secretions your body makes naturally that line the intestine – in other words, some of that is stuff that’s actually supposed to be there, no matter how gross it looks. Maybe not with THIS product, but some of the things and procedures out there, done multiple times, could cause more harm than good.
I dunno. I eat a lot of beans and fruit and whole grains and stuff and I have to honestly say I never felt the need to “cleanse” that part of my body. I mean other than what it does naturally.
Now, if they made that kind of stuff for one’s brain…I might consider that.
You mean like “mental floss,” Ricki?
sheila — I didn’t have that problem with it. It was actually pretty gentle. You could kind of expect that in the morning — every morning — the train would be leaving the station. Right away. But that was right when I woke up, so I was at home. No problem.
I should have actually read the post before clicking on the link. I was not prepared for that experience. o_0
I’ve actually seen this product for sale at my massage therapist’s office. Good to know that is does the job.
Tray, I hear you. I did have a full cleanse in March (doctor prescribed for my colonoscopy). I was so happy knowing that I was pretty empty. Now I take whole food probiotics. Keeps the good stuff in and makes everything very regular.