“Welcome to our home. Make yourself comfortable. Would you like something to drink? Please, help yourself to some pita and hummus. What? What’s that you say? ‘What are those little shiny things congregated atop that cabinet?’ Oh. Haha. Well. Those are bullets. Just some bullets. Uhm, you know, .45 caliber bullets. To a 1911 Remington Rand pistol. So. Yeeah. Would you like some more hummus?”
Are MB and I the only ones who see it?
Sarah Palin
30 Rock’s Tina Fey
MB calls Palin “Hot Tina Fey.” But I’ve always thought Tina Fey has a goofy hotness to her, all by herself. Too bad she’s not on SNL anymore. She’d eat this part up, don’t you think?
Palin’s speech is over. Her family descends onto the stage. Pregnant Bristol is there with her fiance — who is chewing gum; dude, spit it out! — and everyone is waving. Piper extends her arm up straight, tilts her hand backwards, and moves it back and forth to wave. It’s more like she’s waving to the ceiling than anything else. John McCain makes a surprise appearance onstage, shakes hands, kisses and hugs everyone.
And there is Piper Palin. Still waving to the crowd after everyone else has stopped.
Hahahaha. That kid is killing me. Even John McCain can’t help but stop to whisper in her ear.
…. excuse me, but that Sarah Palin is a saucy little bad-ass.
Wow. Uhm, can we vote for her for president? Holy cow.
MB can have Cindy. I’m gettin’ a girl crush on Sarah.
…. the moment of the night:
Piper Palin is sitting with her baby brother Trig in her lap. He’s a sleeping chubby angel and Piper looks A-dorable. Then she looks lovingly down at baby Trig, vigorously licks the palm of her little hand, and smooths his flyaway hair.
Too much.
Is there room in my heart for two Pipers???
She is just precious.
Okay. So MB has a crush on Cindy McCain.
We’re watching the convention. Did it last week; doing it this week. Anyhoo. Rudy’s talking — did you know he says “Obam-er”? — and the camera pans over to Cindy McCain. She’s gorgeous; let’s face it.
And MB, seeing his girlfriend, cries out — only half-jokingly, “Shine, Cindy, shine!”
Sheesh. Calm down, Peaches.
You know how sometimes you find yourself trapped in a car with a grumpy Beloved and things are going downhill fast and you’re both secretly wondering “how much longer do we have to live” blahdie blah, etc.? You know how that happens sometimes?
And once you move past the preferable death scenarios dancing in your head, mesmerizing as they are, you actually start wondering how you could possibly cheer up your crabby Beloved. What to do? What to do??
Well, naturally, a caring wife will suddenly decide that the perfect plan to chase away the gathering storm clouds is to, uhm, cluck — not hum or sing, oh, no, CLUCK — her way through various well-known songs. Oh, like maybe “In the Hall of the Mountain King” by Edvard Grieg.
You know:
bawk bawk bawk bawk
bawk-bawk-baaawk
bawk-bawk-baaawk
bawk-bawk-baaawk
bawk bawk bawk bawk
bawk bawk bawk bawk
bawk bawk bawk bawk
baaaaawk
Oh, wait. How rude of me. Maybe you don’t recognize the tune from just the bawks. Okay. Here’s a MIDI of it, piano only version, which should have no impact whatsoever on your ability to cluck it out, pippa.
For this whole thing to really work in cheering up Your Beloved, you need two things:
1) The willingness to really sound like a chicken as much as possible.
and
2) Insanity.
You got those two things? You’re good to go, Peaches! Cluck it out with a vengeance!
Later, I moved on to the “Theme from Rocky,” pumping my arms in the air and clucking triumphantly like any good chicken-wife.
Naturally.
Seven-year-old Piper Palin wearing a tiara atop that goofy little face. The daughter of newly minted VP candidate Sarah Palin is almost as adorable as my personal Piper …..
What I just heard him say:
“The Democrats have just nominated someone for Vice President who’s basically saying, ‘Hey, vote for me because I’m a good commuter.’ Joe Biden, a good little commuter.”
Hahahahahahaha.
mmmmWAHH, Christopher Hitchens!
Call me!
I’m scanning some small paintings to upload and I have to resize them to get them to fit the blog. Unfortunately, they lose a bit in the translation; the resolution isn’t as clear and the colors aren’t as true as when they’re full size. Does anybody know how to do a better job on that? How I can make them smaller — because I post them rather large so they look “better” — and still clear? (Um, unlike this question.)
I thank thee for any help you can give.
