So this guy was all upset at The Beanhouse the other day because we weren’t brewing his favorite coffee right at that precise moment. He fussed about like a big stupid baby and then said:
“Well, I guess I’ll just have to come in here with an AK-47 next time.”
Uh, is this funny? Am I just not getting it? Am I simply too uptight and old-fashioned and humorless, thinking, as I do, that it’s somewhat gauche to threaten people with bloody violent death?
Whatever, dude. Guess who’s gonna start carrying her .22 automatic in her pocket?
Hmmm. Methinks … not funny. And I don’t consider myself uptight or humorless, though old-fashioned probably does apply. 🙂
He sounds like what my husband would call a Turbo-dork. Was he by any chance wearing a black trenchcoat and a whole lot of pimples?
roo — Hello! Yes, “Turbodork”! Although with the omnipresent sunglasses rather than a trenchcoat.
If he’s wearing a trenchcoat next time he comes in, I’m ducking for cover.
And to think you have to take care how you greet your friend “Jack” in an airport for fear of alerting security!
Definitely NOT funny
In this day and age?
DEFINITELY not funny.
Funny would be, “Well, who do I have to sleep with to get the coffee I like?”
Funny would be, “Next time, I’m unleashing my army of trained bunnies on this place.”
(Seriously? If someone tried that on me – I’m a college professor – if a student came in to protest their grade and I gave them no satisfaction, and they made the AK-47 suggestion? I’d totally be on the phone to campus security. Maybe I’m overreacting but that kind of thing sounds a wee bit too specific and possible.)
GAAAAASSSSPPPP!
Not funny. Not, not funny.
Not funny. Lots of pent-up aggression there. I enjoy the “army of trained bunnies” suggestion.
But also: DUDE. CHILL. Is the world supposed to be set up to serve you IMMEDIATELY? Weirdo.
That is not funny.
“Good night, sleep well, I’ll most likely kill you in the morning” might be funny…
But most public references to murder are a leetle too close for comfort. Hey, Turbodork, what’s your fantasy?
Get a plate of reinforced steel for the bottom half of your counter.
No, not funny.
Probably just a clueless – heavy emphasis on clueless- brat.
But still. Not funny in this day and age.
Sal — He’s a little too old to be classified as a brat. I’m guessing 30s, maybe 40s.
I’m actually afraid of this guy. He’s consistently weird and unstable.
We’ve tried to explain to him that the coffees are on a specific brewing rotation, but he refuses to embrace the concept.
Maybe you could say to him:
“Double mocha latte with a huge shot of Prozac comin’ right up!”
Time to whip up the “espresso topped with death…..”
I’m thinking NOT FUNNY, but maybe I’m just not the right crowd. Maybe that joke knocks their socks off at the Home for Crazy Self-Centered Guys in Sunglasses, from which he clearly escaped. Just a thought.
You know, the “coffee rotation” totally makes sense. Where I used to live there was a neat bakery. They made good bread. They only made specific breads on specific days. And they had a chalkboard listing what bread was on what day. So if you came in wanting, say, honey whole wheat and it was rosemary focaccia day, it was easy enough to determine when honey whole wheat would come around next, and go back then.
I’m sure there were people who got all bent out of shape to learn that the universe did not, in fact, revolve around them, and there were, in fact, people who preferred Rosemary Foccacia to Honey Whole Wheat. But you know? That’s life.
One lesson I’m trying to inculcate into my youth group kids is that sometimes when you want honey whole wheat, it’s rosemary foccacia day. And you should try not to be upset (or at least outwardly unpleasant) about it, because there’s probably someone who’s been waiting and hoping on rosemary foccacia, and it’s their turn to be happy…
I actually think that’s one of the problems with our society; so many people so deep in their own wants that they can’t see that sometimes things should go other people’s ways…
ricki — This is so funny and profound to me, actually:
/ sometimes when you want honey whole wheat, it’s rosemary foccacia day. /
See? That’s LIFE.
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