bakeus nervosa

All right, peeps. It’s one week til July 31st — my birthday. Ooh, and Harry Potter’s.

(But don’t tell Joey it’s Harry’s birthday, too. She’d freak. Also: Don’t tell her about the lightning bolt-ish scar on my forehead. Or that I once stopped a snake from biting me just by chatting him up a bit, real friendly-like.)

Anywho … I need your help. Or rather, My Beloved needs your help. You see, we recently had this conversation:

ME: I thought of something I want for my birthday.

MB: Okay. Great. What is it?

ME: Well, um, I want a cake.

MB: Okay. We’ll have a cake.

ME: Uh, no. I think maybe I’d like you to make me a cake. That would be really cool.

(These were words of death, apparently.)

MB: Um, oh. (air growing heavy with cake anxiety) What kind of cake?

ME: Oh, you know. ANY kind.

(WHAT?! Like I’m so easy-going and mellow?? Do I even know myself??)

He did snort at that, actually.

So, it all boils down to this: My Beloved needs your recipes or recommendations. HELP HIM HELP ME! Or something like that.

Now I do not actually have a favorite cake, per se — I like many kinds. However, anything containing the following ingredients will be rejected out of hand …. and stomach:

1. Carrots
2. Bananas
3. Zucchini
4. Walnuts
5. Dried fruit or
6. Potatoes … for extra smooth ‘n’ starchy flavor! Do not even attempt to sway me one of those bizarro “the secret ingredient is potato!” cakes. I heard of ’em, seen ’em, even, but I will NOT eat ’em.

Basically, I WANT ME SOME CAKE, NOT A SALAD OR SIDE DISH!

SO BRING ON SOME SWEET CAKEY GOODNESS!!!

My Beloved will be checking back here for your valuable input. You can leave links to good online recipes, too, just know that if you do, your comment will go into moderation first because I’m just a big ol’ despot and history’s worst monster.

I’ll keep you updated this week on Cake Bake 2006!!!

My Beloved thanks you. I thank you. My stomach thanks you.

16 Replies to “bakeus nervosa”

  1. The chocolate cake recipe on the back of the Hershey’s Cocoa box is stellar, chocolate-y goodness. Mmmm ….

    A look through the Magnolia Bakery cookbook is always inspiring.

    🙂

  2. i don’t like most cake. i despise birthday cake.

    i LOVE southern living’s recipe for petits fours — the almond cake part is to die for, you don’t even need the icing. so that’s a starter, but i have no idea where to find it online, you could start with southernliving.com (can you tell it’s early an i’m sleepy?).

    then there’s Dave Schuler’s molten chocolate cakes. to die for. Go to theglitteringeye.com and search for molten chocolate cakes.

  3. Oatmeal cake?
    Very simple cake to which you can add chocolate (cocoa) or other flavors? (You need scales for this one, though, as it’s an English recipe {they use weight and not volume}).

  4. What a thing to ask of the man you love.

    Luckily, he loves you enough to do it.

    For his birthday, he should ask you to change the oil in his car.

  5. Sarah K.
    the man’s never baked and you’re asking him to make petit fours? Have you no decency? I don’t care if they’re nekkid…

    Let me hunt up my mom’s chocolate cake recipe – the cake is the Hershey one above, but the icing is the thing. It’s like cake with fudge on top. He can leave out the chopped pecans.

    I snagged the graduated round cake pans when my dad moved out of their house. Happy memories.

    What are you views on lemons?

  6. My favorite place to go for cakes:

    http://www.cakemixdoctor.com

    I make her cakes often. The recipes call for a box of cake mix plus extras you add to it. It doesn’t get easier than that! She has a good orange cake and a wonderful chocolate cake called “Darn Good Chocolate Cake.”

  7. Forget the cake — he should blindfold you, take you to a private table at a renowned restaurant and line up an assortment of sweets in front of you instead.

    You’ll both be happier.

  8. Jeannine — Magnolia Bakery … mmmmmm! Thanks for the Hershey’s tip!

    SarahK — Hahaha! I know lots of people who don’t like cake. I think I like cake because I never got to have it when I was a kid, so it feels DECADENT to me. Thanks for your suggestions!

    Karen — Ooh, never heard of that one, but it sounds kinda good.

    Dave — I know. I’m eeevil. But he DOES know his way around a kitchen — much more so than I know my way around an oil pan, so the two are not equal requests, you see?

    Sal — LEMONS! I LOVE LEMONS!! IT MATCHES THE BITTERY SOURNESS OF MY PERSONALITY! HAHAHA!

    WG — Okay. Also an option. 😉

  9. Hmm. For his first attempt at cakery, maybe he should try a box cake?

    I love the Betty Crocker cakes almost as much as home-made. ‘Course, I’m a yellow cake, chocolate frosting kind of guy.

    Alternately, what about cheesecake? The recipe on the package of Philadelphia Cream Cheese is pretty easy to do, especially if you use a premade crust.

  10. Cullen — I’m not sure if it’s his first attempt at cakery in his *life,* but I think it’s his first attempt in his married life.

    The thing is — he’s actually a better chef than I am, but I’m the baker in the family. Uh-oh. Maybe I’m setting myself up for losing the baking crown to him, too.

    Hmmmm …. maybe I didn’t really think this through …

  11. Nuno, Sal, I mean just the cake part, just make the almond cake part, because it’s sooooo good! He doesn’t even need to cut it into little pieces.

    Or if y’all have publix, he can go to publix and get their white cake with raspberry filling and tell them to put it in your container to make it look like he did it.

  12. I know you saw the mocha choca lotta yaya recipe; but you could just replace some of the H2O in a chocolate cake mix with irish cream, and then mix a little irish cream into some off the shelf frosting. Personally I think mixes today are very good; scratch is overrated here.

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