Mother’s Day is just around the corner. Childless as I am, I admit the day always sets me off — in a variety of ways. My persistent low-grade melancholy flares to the surface and burns a little too hot.
So …. in honor (?) of Mother’s Day, I’m going to try to start tapping into things I don’t really want to tap into. (Wheeeee!) I’ve mostly buried my feelings about our infertility so I can actually live a sort of day-to-day life, but I can sense some of them starting to claw their way out. So maybe they should. Maybe it will help. I really don’t know.
I’m not even sure I can do this. I worry what people will think. I worry how I will sound. The subject of infertility makes people uncomfortable, especially Christians. Which is actually a whole post in itself ….. I just know that I’m tired of feeling I have to bury the reality of my life so that no one has their faith shaken. So then I think of that Eleanor Roosevelt quote, “You must do the thing you think you cannot do” and I think that I must try.
Not all my posts will be about this. Just some of them.
Hope you won’t mind. You can always skip these posts. Maybe I’ll even warn you with a”one of those posts” label or something. But may I gently suggest that if the topic makes you uncomfortable, perhaps you need to “do the thing you think you cannot do” and read it.
So …. it’s comin’ ….. and please don’t feel you have to tell me how sorry you are. I know your hearts are kind, so I’d actually prefer you didn’t. It’s just a …. thing I have.
It’ll be Mother’s Day from a different perspective, I guess.
Hi Tracey,
Would it be rude of me to ask you if you have thought about adopting and if not, why? I have children of my own and can not stand in your shoes, but friends of mine have been there and have adopted. If this is a rude question, please know that I don’t intend it that way.
Also, I wanted you to know that though some of my blog is political in nature, at least half of it is not. I think my ode to Spring may give you a smile. At least I hope so.
S’s Myriad of Musings
Tracey, I look forward to reading these posts.
I think some Christians are just blissfully ignorant of the trials of others, they (we)don’t mean to be unkind, or unfeeling, more than likely they (we) just haven’t stopped long enough to ponder and imagine ourselves in other shoes.
I wish I could fix it for you! I am very sorry for your sorrow.
I found your blog from amanda sue. I understand completely. We went through 4 1/2 years of infertility, and my church back then often had the “brilliant” idea to do baby dedications on Mother’s Day. Double whammy. I’m on the other side of it now but I’m not so far removed from the pain that I have forgotten the experience.
This year the church we attend (a different church) is going to do a panel discussion on women who deal with the whole topic of motherhood in different ways. Some have lost their mothers early in life, some have gone through infertility for a time, some adopted, some have spiritual mothers and/or daughters. I think it’s a very fresh approach for a church to take.
I wish you the freedom to just be who you are and where you are, and I pray that you are surrounded by people who would rather shut up than say the wrong thing.
Sherril …. yess, you’ve just given me so much more to write about.