sometimes you just need to offload

I’ve figured out why my thinking has been sluggish lately. It’s not my diet, which is fine, or lack of exercise, which I partake of daily on my trampoline, or the drinking or drugs, to which my body has now acclimated after many jittery decades of abuse.

No. It’s stupid random stuff that clogs my brain and ruins me utterly.

Take Jim Caviezel, for instance.

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He’s a nice-looking fellow, no? But that’s not the thing clogging my brain. Nope. It’s not. It could potentially be brain-clogging, I suppose, but that’s really not it right now.

Because I am, sad to say, much more bothered by this thought:

Is the prosthetic nose worn by Jim Caviezel in The Passion of the Christ …..

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the same prosthetic nose he wore in The Stoning of Soraya M?

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(Granted, these photos are not at the same angle, but that’s the best I could do.)

It’s a bit sad, don’t you think, that this is the stuff that consumes me? Frankly — and I think this a deeply disturbing admission — I find him better looking as Jesus than as his normal self but it’s not because of “Jesus,” although I can’t say that with certainty which is the disturbing part. Really, I think it’s because of the nose. I think. I hope. That crook nose nicely de-pretties his practically perfect face which just makes him much yummier in my opinion. I don’t like a pretty man. This is why I would gladly punch Brad Pitt repeatedly in his pretty-pretty face — for his own good, you see.

But back to the noses. They look nearly identical. Is this the same nose? The same nose artist? (Which I’m pretty sure is the correct technical term.) Did Jim Caviezel just put his Jesus nose in a drawer thinking, “Better hang on to this. Never know when I might need it”? And does he get better reviews with a Middle Eastern nose?

Okay.

I need help, pippa. I just wrote a post about Jim Caviezel’s prosthetic noses.

This is not normal behavior.

10 Replies to “sometimes you just need to offload”

  1. Maybe not normal but it is accurate. He looks way better with the prosthetic nose. The first photo is not someone I would want to have a conversation with – the other two look much more interesting – hotter too.

    hahaha – I just commented on a post about Jim Caviezel’s prosthetic noses. 🙂

  2. Wait, what? I truly did not even know that there was such a thing as a prosthetic nose. Is this something I’ve been missing out on my whole life? Have I been poorly educated in some regard? How come nobody every taught me about prosthetic noses?

    That said, I agree with you and Jill. Way better with the prosthetic nose.

    Sad thing is, I’m about to leave my house to go to a class on the Sacraments. Pretty sure I’m now going to be thinking about Jim Cavaziel’s Jesus’ prosthetic nose, instead of, you know, Jesus.

  3. There are prosthetic chins, noses, gums, ear, brow lines – it is rare nowadays for an actor NOT to wear some kind of prosthesis of some kind!

    Boy, Jim C. is a good-looking fellow. Good Lord. The second prosthetic nose looks more acquiline – more like a Roman frieze – while the jesus one looks more blunt to me.

    He’s so gorgeous it actually has limited him, I think. He must be like, “Dudes, plop on some prosthetic – I am far too gorgeous to ever play a normal man!” I love him in GI Jane, and I am not ashamed to say it. he plays a crazy wild-eyed guy who totally resents Demi Moore’s present in the program, but then he comes around. He’s also sooo good in Frequency (I think that’s the name of it) – a really really touching movie!

    It also would not surprise me if Jim C. kept his Jesus nose in a drawer. I mean, wouldn’t you?

  4. Katie — It’s distracting, no? For me, the image of Jim Caviezel’s Jesus is all stirred up with real Jesus in some kind of unholy mental stew.

    Sheila — I didn’t “recognize” you with your name capped. I thought we had a new Sheila and I was like, “Okay. This will not do.”

    I think you’re right, though. His beauty is so distracting, so beyond we mere mortals, that it’s limiting. The noses wonk him up a bit and that’s good. I remember him in GI Jane, although I haven’t seen that in a long time. I thought he was great as Jesus — if “great” is a word that can be used for that movie at all. In Soraya M, he plays a French-Iranian man, and I liked him well enough. I do think he has more in him, but his beauty is basically a handicap as an actor. It’s almost as if none of us can relate to him as a human being. He’s just THAT gorgeous. He’s got some TV show now that I haven’t watched because he doesn’t wear a prosthetic nose. I’m not kidding. I think that’s the reason I haven’t yet given it one glance. No fake nose.

    On a general note, Soraya M, I think, is a must-see. It’s got some real weaknesses story-wise and the ending after the stoning is almost slapstick silliness and pretty inappropriate considering what’s just happened. Shohreh Aghdashloo is in it, though, and she elevates everything she’s in. I adore her.

  5. I meant to see Soraya M! If you haven’t, check out Frequency – with him and Dennis Quaid. Such an under-rated movie, killer emotional, hard to explain without it sounding hokey. Amazing performance from Jim C.

  6. Soraya M is an agony but then it’s supposed to be. The stoning sequence …. ugh. Traumatizing. Like the Passion of the Christ in that way. That scene goes on forever — feels almost as if they were meaning to do a kind of real-time thing. The story itself deserved a better movie, though. (Honestly, the ending is so ridiculous, as if they’re trying to tie it up with a bow or Disney-fy something that can’t possibly be Disney-fied. It totally clanged for me. That’s part of my issue with the movie, the clumsiness of the script.) But the story is worth telling and worth seeing despite the many flaws in the telling. I think it deserved a wider audience. Then again, it’s not entertaining in the least so that partly explains why it didn’t ever get that audience. You choose that movie knowing you are choosing to be traumatized — but for a better understanding and a higher purpose. So in that sense and maybe only that sense, it’s worth it.

    I’d love to hear what you think if you see it.

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