baldy’s super bowl viewing tips

Last year, Ol’ Baldy, head of the FOC, posted some super duper helpful Super Bowl viewing tips to keep the hounds of heathenism at bay while we watch this annual pride and lust fest.

Check it out.

My favorite suggestion? To avoid the temptation to lust during the naughty commercials or half-time show, turn the channel quick like a bunny to C-SPAN.

“Turning to C-SPAN will ensure that conversation will take place,” says Baldy.

I’m sure that’s true. Everyone will whisper about what a lame Super Bowl party you’re throwing.

I know it’s too late now since the game is over, but at least you can feel some retroactive guilt about the whole thing, pippa.

29 Replies to “baldy’s super bowl viewing tips”

  1. We need to repent! Not once did we talk to our kids about the game in light of eternity. Oh, wait. They were off in their rooms or outside with their friends. We’re good on that one.

    But, we need to repent again! We did not have one discerning person in the room who changed the channel to C-Span! Oh, no! We switched to FOX News instead!

    But, we were discerning enough to know that the Black Eyed Peas SUCKED it big time!

  2. Nightfly, erase everything before the www and it will work.

    I can’t imagine Jesus hanging out with tax collectors and sinners AND watching the Playboy channel, or ogling the cheerleaders. But I could certainly imagine Him having a nice time with friends and not writing a blog post dogging people about how their interests are OVERRATED and lame.

    I know we are to do all for the glory of God, but that doesn’t mean I need a whole post on how to watch a football game, how to wipe my bottom to glorify God, or which board games most reflect Biblical precepts (Parcheesi, because Monopoly is ee-vil, right?).

    The remote in this post almost seems… symbolic of some very deep stuff. Re-read and replace with “psyche” or “soul” or something along those lines. This guy puts entirely too much attachment on it imo.

  3. Happy Elf Mom (formerly Mrs. C!) — /how to wipe my bottom to glorify God/

    Hahahahahaha! Yes. Also, might I add while in the bathroom, don’t look south of the equator. If you inadvertently do so, be sure to have a small bathroom TV tuned to C-SPAN so you can quickly avert your eyes from your naughty bits.

    NF — That’s weird. The link seems to work for me. What did I do wrong, I wonder? I’ll check it out.

    Kathi — What?? No C-SPAN?? I’m never coming to your house for the Super Bowl.

    Rob — That’s true. In my experience, there really isn’t much whispering involved in watching the Super Bowl.

  4. I find the whole post bizarre, but this comment is particularly galling to me:

    /as Chad (his son) and I watch the game, I will draw his attention to any evidence of humility or unselfishness I observe, as well as any expression of arrogance or selfishness. I will celebrate the former and ridicule the latter./

    So he’s looking for examples of “character.” Dude, it’s a football game. Players, being only human, have unchecked moments. But if he saw a player celebrating his TD too much — because Baldy would see that as arrogance, he’s said so before — he’d openly RIDICULE that player to his son?? Really? “RIDICULE”??

    How does that fit into the “eternal perspective” he wants to bring to the Super Bowl?

  5. Doesn’t Ol’ Baldy know that Jesus doesn’t even watch the Super Bowl? And if Jesus isn’t watching, should he be watching? I mean really, why should Jesus watch, these guys are already saved. You see the players pointing to the sky, praising God for their victories, wearing crosses around their necks, huddling for prayer and all that spiking a football for Jesus stuff. Jesus knows he’s got these guys. Instead Jesus is busy watching MMA and ordering up all the pay-per-views ’cause these fighters need them some Jesus. I wonder if Ol’ Baldy’s got some MMA viewing rules. If not, Mark Driscoll might so he could borrow them from him.

  6. The comments flying around our group yesterday were…

    “This is the best Super Bowl ever!”

    “This is the best half-time show ever!”

    “Did Christina miss a line?”

    “The Black Eyed Peas suck live!”

    Maybe we should have turn to C-Span for more serious conversation.

    In some seriousness, I give kuddos to the NFL for awarding volunteerism and charity amongst the players. Though, the comment that went flying was,

    “How dare Madieu be in Iraq and not at the game! He’s probably in some bunker in Kansas posing with people dressed in fatigues.”

    We really must repent.

  7. Well, it’s no wonder that he didn’t post a new “Super Bowl viewing tips”. He is the Worst. Football. Analyst/ Predictor. Ever. Let me “fisk” a bit:

    Who will win? I predict the Indianapolis Colts. No surprise there.

    Really?! You were that confident when the point spread was only 5 points? There were 5 Super Bowls that had point spreads over 10 that were upsets.

    Who do I want to win? I want New Orleans to win because of my friends at Lakeview Christian Center, the Sovereign Grace church in New Orleans.

    Oh, so, you’re routing for a team merely because a church you’re making money off of is in that city?! Hmmm, if you had a bigger church in Indy, would you change your mind?

    How can the Saints win? The Saints can win only if they can force turnovers and make some big offensive plays. They will do the latter but not the former, or at least not enough to win. And the Saints’ defense is average at best.

    They did neither… No big offensive plays nor a number of turnovers (granted the 1 turnover resulted in sealing the game, but the Saints didn’t absolute need it to win the game.) The Saint’s defense held the Colts to only 17 points, only 3 opponents in that season held them to less.

    How can the Colts win? Unless Peyton Manning gets hurt before the game or during the game, Indianapolis wins.

    Manning was not hurt before or during the game, never sacked, yet still had a mediocre game.

    I am amazed at the ARROGANCE of these predictions, perhaps we should RIDICULE him, for such ignorant analysis. I’m a football geek and I remember many analysts were surprised at the 5 point spread, as many assumed this game was going to be a toss up.

  8. JFH — /Oh, so, you’re routing for a team merely because a church you’re making money off of is in that city?! Hmmm, if you had a bigger church in Indy, would you change your mind?/

    Really good point.

    Brian — Mark Driscoll. KAPOW!!!! He’s the next Baldy-in-the-Making from what I can see.

  9. Never mind the “commercials demean women” stuff, Baldy–how about giving the women a break from making all the party food and washing all the dishes afterwards, huh? Stop looking past what’s right under your nose because you think Heaven’s way out there.

    And hey, the real sin is not having enough cold beer on hand, isn’t it?

  10. Yeesh. I have *SO* lost patience with “Christians” like this idgit. Actually, if I’m really going to be honest here, I think I have lost patience with most Christians who are so saturated with “Christian Culture” that they have no idea how to make any kind of real impact on the very real darkness that surrounds all of us who live in the world. MEH… that’s what I think of them. I wish they weren’t souring so many people around them, but God knows their hearts better than they do, and He tends to make sure people get exactly what they need, even if it’s simply a rollicking come-uppance. LOL Love ya, Trace.

  11. Kate P — Oh, no. No kitchen breaks for women in the FOC. You must be in the kitchen preparing the game victuals for the menfolk, in modest attire, of course.

    GraD — Oh! I would so enjoy a “rollicking comeuppance” for these people. (Although, honestly, it sounds more fun than they deserve.)

    Brian — You see it too, huh? Ugh. He makes my skin crawl. I’ve watched some of his stuff on YouTube. He has “a face made for pugilism” as MB says.

  12. I have to ask (valor getting the better part of discretion I suppose) Brian and Tracey, are you basing the Mark Driscoll/Old Baldy comparison on first hand experience with both men? I’m curious, because I don’t see the similarity at all myself, but then I’ve never met Old Baldy in person.

  13. RT — No. I haven’t had first-hand experience with either man, and I’m not talking about physical similarities because there aren’t any. I’m talking about a similar lust for power, perhaps hidden by “aw shucks-ism” or phony self-deprecation, but present nonetheless. I can barely watch either of them on video. Baldy, because he’s such a spaz and because I can’t stand his st-a-cc-a-t-o delivery style, and Driscoll because he seems like a secret wife beater. Something about him smacks “secret felon” to me. There’s a cult of personality around both men that repulses me.

  14. RT – My opinion is based on listening to his sermons via podcast and some videos he’s appeared in. Mr. Driscoll seems to like himself a lot and can’t seem to do wrong. Humility is not in his bag of tricks. He’s hypocritical when it comes to his stance on some cultural things like you can’t read Twilight but you can watch MMA fighting with your young children. He’s also a supporter of Complementarianism which I have issues with. And as unsupported as this may be… the guy gives me the heebie-jeebies.

  15. Thanks for responding, Tracey and Brian. When I’m in Seattle I attend Mars Hill (Driscoll’s church) and three of my kids worship there regularly (which is how I even heard of it and Driscoll in the first place). While I don’t agree with absolutely everything he preaches, his sermons always makes me think, and question, and read, which I figure is a good thing. *shrug*

    Old Baldy wants to control other people. Driscoll wants to challenge other people’s complacency. The former, I believe, is actually evil. The latter (at least to my mind) is at worst mistaken on some points. I can walk out of a Mars Hill service thinking “I’m not sure I agree with XYZ, I want to read some more about that.” I wouldn’t even walk into a service led by Old Baldy.

  16. RT — The other thing is that I believe there is an affiliation between Baldy and Driscoll. That’s enough to make me steer clear. I’d have to double check that, but I think it’s true.

    Brian — The “heebie-jeebies” describes my reaction to Driscoll pretty well.

  17. Brian — I have a problem with the Comp. stance, too. The FOC is WAY complementarian bordering on patriarchal.

    Yeah. We would have fit in REALLY well.

    Hahahahahahahaha.

  18. “I believe there is an affiliation between Baldy and Driscoll…”

    Tracey, I wish you would double check that. I’d be very interested in knowing if that is indeed true. It’s my understanding that the FOC and Mars Hill are unconnected, but I could be mistaken.

  19. Thanks, Brian.

    RT — I believe I’ve heard their affiliation spoken of over at some of the FOC blogs as well. I’m not saying their organizations are affiliated, I’m saying there is a personal affiliation between the men.

    Although, I think the FOC is Baldy, so I’m not sure what the difference is there, actually.

    I don’t know. It makes me nervous, anyway.

  20. Thank you, Brian! I have to wonder though, if Driscoll’s 2007 comment about Old Baldy being a dear friend is akin to his comments about Joel Osteen, “my brother in Christ.” After expressing heartfelt Christian brotherhood toward Osteen, Driscoll went on to use a long clip of one of Osteen’s prosperity gospel sermons, and then elaborated upon how dead wrong Osteen was. Video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IuiUOapK1w&feature=player_embedded

    Driscoll is like that. He is also capable of being quite sarcastic, ironic and caustic, which some find untenable in a pastor.

    All I can say is, I’ve never seen nor heard anything in my experiences with Mars Hill to lead me to believe they have anything whatsoever as a church in common with the FOC. I think Driscoll himself is far too…gritty…for someone like Old Baldy. I can well believe though that Old Baldy approached Driscoll with advice on humility, and Driscoll took his admonition to heart.

    Regardless, Tracey, I totally respect your instinctive reaction and in no way want to diminish it nor your assessment of both individuals.

  21. RT — On the other hand, you’ve seen him in person and I haven’t, so I’m just going on how he comes across to me through video.

    Also, I’m EXTREMELY disinclined these days to put much stock in what any pastor/powermonger says from the pulpit. I’m looking for an organic/house church right now. I’m sick to death of the institutional commercial church, and — my opinion — I don’t think that represents the church that Christ wanted or started.

    (This is all Brian’s fault. 😉 He’s sent me too many books that I’ve read and re-read and my perspective on “church,” which was changing a bit because of what happened at the FOC, has now completely changed.)

    I’m just saying that my perspective on Driscoll and most paid pastors is now default “negative.” So I’m not objective at ALL.

    Or, actually, in some ways, you could say I’ve become VERY objective about “church.” I used to really put pastors on pedestals. I used to accept everything from the pulpit as gospel truth. I used to just take it all in without much thought or analysis. Not anymore.

  22. “Or, actually, in some ways, you could say I’ve become VERY objective about “church.” I used to really put pastors on pedestals. I used to accept everything from the pulpit as gospel truth. I used to just take it all in without much thought or analysis. Not anymore. ”

    Tracey, I think that a lot of people are starting to feel this way about the church and church leaders. At least that’s what we’re finding here in the Northwest, which already has a difficult time getting people into church doors.

    I’m not sure if Brian’s shared our experience so far with trying out a house church. It was interesting and difficult. Mostly because it’s not just us but our kids too that we need to think about. If it were just Brian and I we probably would have landed somewhere by now. Church life has been a difficult struggle for us over the past 4+ years and we’re now at a point where we’d like to have some stability in that area.

  23. Kathi — Brian mentioned to me a while back that you guys were attending one. Are you still? I’d be really interested to hear more. I’ve actually checked for one in SD and the closest one to us isn’t that close.

    I’m kind of at a loss for what to do in this area anymore.

    I’m so sorry about your struggle with this. Even though our experiences have probably been different, I think we’ve reached some similar conclusions about the “institutional” church.

    I’m just so torn about it all.

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