okay, who’s gonna try this for me?

Uhm, really? Is this the goal of working out?

I would like some “raging energy,” please. I guess I’m doing it wrong, the working out thing. I mean, who am I? Mel Gibson??

“If you have reached a plateau with your current pre-workout formula and are looking for something to take your progress & workout intensity to a level you have never experienced before we dare you to uncage your inner rage with HEMO−RAGE Black.”

Hm. My “current pre-workout formula” is called “sitting around.” I sit around, then — SUDDENLY — I get up and work out. That’s my very involved formula.

Will someone please buy some Hemo-Rage and tell me how it goes, okay? With the blood rage and all.

I’d have MB do it, but he’s been uncaging his inner rage a little too well after the “Maybe Church” debacle. Do they have a “recage your inner rage” formula, I wonder? Hemo-Calm or something?

That would be best, I think.

8 Replies to “okay, who’s gonna try this for me?”

  1. What a brilliant, or very dumb, marketing campaign! (Then again, in the advertising world, I guess that’s a very fine line… e.g. the “Head On” commercials).

    I mean, they pick the most dangerous aspect of illegal steroid use, uncontrollable rage, and sell that same side effect on an OTC herbal supplement… Most body builders aren’t the smartest bunch so if they can associate a legal supplement side effect with an illicit one, they deduce the primary effect should be equivalent

    That is, the most dangerous side effect to OTHERS, I don’t think it would sell as well, if they advertised:

    “Make no mistake about it, HEMO−RAGE Black is not for wimps. It is a dead serious pre-workout product. If you can’t handle the impotence and the shrinkage of your testicles, this underground supplement may not be for you!

  2. JFH — /If you can’t handle the impotence and the shrinkage of your testicles, this underground supplement may not be for you!/

    Hahahahahahahahaha!!

    Is the rage BECAUSE of the impotence and shrinkage, I wonder?

  3. “Manufactured on equipment that processes products containing milk”–oh well, I’m out. (What? I always look at the allergy stuff first.)

    I need help with this one: “To assess your tolerance, begin by mixing just ONE serving (1 scoop) into 6 to 8 oz. of cold water before hitting the dungeon.” What is “hitting the dungeon”? Is that more guy speak for the potty? The mall?

  4. Hey – you know what else really amps your heart rate and turns you into a ball of uncontrollable energy? Cocaine. I dare you to take your workout to a higher level! Just Toot It!

  5. It has NICKEL in it? A lot of people are allergic to nickel. We found out my son was allergic after the snap on his bracelet BURNED his skin. He looked like someone put a cigar out on his wrist! I can NOT imagine ingesting that and then finding out there’s an allergic reaction…

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