random snippets

(Walking past a store window we regularly walk by, MB is looking at himself. I bust him as I frequently like to do.)

ME: Good Lord. You can’t get enough of you.
HE: It was just a glance!
ME: (as I am fixing my hair whilst, yes, glancing in the car window): Yeah. A loving glance.
HE: This from the woman who just looked at herself in the car window!
ME: Ohh. Well. That was a critical glance. Yours are like mmmmm ….. yummmmy …..
HE: Oh, brother.
ME: It’s true!
HE: Well, I guess I just like to be a celebrant.

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(After finally finishing all the leftovers and frozen leftovers from the 20-pound ham that he — the ham-aholic — purchased during the holidays for, you know, the two of us.)

HE (in all seriousness): I’m really starting to miss the ham and beans. It was a part of our lives for so long.

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HE: Okay. Here is a list of the worst places in America.
ME: Oooh, really? Okay. Good. Let’s hear it.
HE: Okay. Rite-Aid ……. CVS drugstores ….. Denny’s …… any kind of Coco’s ……
ME: Wait. You said “places.” These are businesses.
HE: Oh, they’re places. They’re places!
ME: Wow. You feel strongly about this.
HE: I do!
ME: So those four?
HE: Yep. Worst places in America.
ME: But “Any kind of Coco’s”? Aren’t they all the same?
HE (in a fury of disgust): Any kind of Coco’s!!!!!

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So we’re at a Coco’s with my parents after a really strange Christmas program at their megachurch, celebrating the birth of baby Jesus with a dancing Frosty the Snowman and a sad-sack Henry Wadsworth Longfellow miming depression. Surreal.

MB wants to kill himself. My parents want pie. Dad likes to save money.

DAD (to waiter): Okay. Give us a whole blueberry pie and cut it into five pieces.
WAITER: Okay.
DAD: Put the last piece in a box and we’ll take it home.
WAITER: All right.
DAD: We all want ice cream, so put ice cream on the other four pieces.
WAITER: Got it. Okay.

He walks away. Long pause.

ME: How do you cut a pie into five pieces?

Even longer pause as the other three just stare at me, open-mouthed, gobsmacked.

And, honestly, pippa, I still struggle with this question.

just in case

Just in case it wasn’t clear from the post below — but it probably was — that’s the last of the Maybe Church posts.

I’m debating whether to write new posts about what it was like to have our FOC blog and some of the responses, good, bad, or whacked, that our story got, but I just don’t know how long I want to keep strrrrretching that thread, you know? I’ll ruminate on that a bit more. I’m good at the ruminating.

For now anyway, since I didn’t say it ……

Thee End.

And back to our regularly scheduled blogging. Whatever that was.

Thank you so much, everyone, for reading this ridiculous epic and for your wonderful comments and support. It’s meant a lot to both of us to tell the story here and find that no, we’re not crazy. Or at least not crazy about this.

So thank you again, pippa, from the bottom of our inappropriate little hearts.

“rose”

One of Original Banshee’s favorites. She was fascinated by the pinkish eyes and hair and the “floating fringey stuff,” she said. She declared her to be Rose, so Rose she is.

rosesm-b.jpg

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