I don’t know what else to call this survey but “titles.”
So I’ve come up with a series of questions about the titles we have in one another’s lives: mom, dad, aunt, uncle, grandma, grandpa. You know, just …. titles. I have lingering questions regarding “titles” in my life and the lives of others and I want to get some opinions. Or maybe I’m just a weirdo who thinks about these things and no one else really gives a rip. Who knows?
(And actually, only one of the scenarios below applies to me. Others have happened to people I know.)
Instructions (as usual): Copy and paste questions into the comment box.
1. Agree/Disagree: I think it is okay to call people who are not actually my aunt or uncle by the title “Aunt” or “Uncle” So and So.
2. Agree/Disagree: I think it’s okay for my children to do the same thing.
3. T/F: My kids actually do call — or I would let them call — my friends by the title “Aunt” or “Uncle” So and So.
4. If you answered True, do/would these titles apply to all your friends? If not, why not?
5. If you answered False to #3, why don’t/wouldn’t you allow your kids to call your friends “Aunt” or “Uncle” So and So?
6. If you allow — or would allow — your kids to call your friends “Aunt” or “Uncle,” would you let them do this in the presence of their real aunt or uncle?
7. A step-parent scenario: Is is appropriate for a kid to call a step-parent “Mom” or “Dad”? I’m asking. I really don’t know.
8. Another step scenario: Your wife died. You’ve remarried. You have adult daughters who call your wife, their stepmom, “Mom.” There is less than 10 years’ difference in age between your new wife and your daughters. Calling her “Mom” — appropriate or not?
9. Does it dishonor your dead spouse to have your grown kids call your new spouse “Mom” or “Dad”?
10. What about younger kids? Is it okay for them to call your new spouse “Mom” or “Dad” if your first spouse is deceased?
11. Who decides what a step-parent is called? The bio parent or the step-parent? Or the kids??
12. A grandparent scenario: Your grown kids have no kids. You’re not a grandparent. You allow the kids of other people to call you “Grandma” and “Grandpa” in front of your adult childless kids. You really want to be grandma or grandpa, so is this okay or not okay?
13. Another grandparent scenario: Same parameters as above, but you list these same non-related kids as your “granddaughters” or “grandsons” on your Facebook page. Okay or not okay?
14. What is your philosophy of “titles”? I mean, who gets to call who what when there is no actual relation? (Horribly phrased, forgive me, but I think you know what I mean.) And who decides?
15. If a “title” hurts anyone in the process — and if you know it does — is that enough to stop using that title or is the title more important?
Thanks for taking another Nosy Friday Survey, pippa. I’m eager to read your thoughts.