Month: August 2008

My precious beefy peach has finally won her much-deserved gold! She just nailed the heck out of that balance beam routine whilst I watched and wet my pants and ruined our sofa.

But who cares??

The beefy peach is a gleaming golden peach!!

HOORAY, HOORAY, HOORAY!!

I am bawling. So so wonderful.

Some elfin-looking gymnast from Uzbekistan just won that country’s first Olympic medal ever: bronze in Men’s Parallel Bars.

Good for you, little dude!

Now get back to that tree and make me up some cookies, Keeblerooni.

Well, hm. Nastia’s mom must have read my post — yes, I’m sure that’s it — because she’s there, in the gym, watching her daughter.

Well, there you go, mom. Good choice. However the family worked it out, good choice, I think. How can anyone regret that ultimately? It’s the freakin’ Olympics, pippa.

But again, more judging weirdness here. Nastia got the same score as a Chinese gymnast. Their scores were the highest, so you think, “Oh, tied for first place, right?” Nope. There’s some kind of incomprehensible tie-breaker deal here that has just put Nastia in second place. The commentators can’t even make sense of it. Poor Nastia. She just looks sick. Now, it’s just a matter of watching all the girls after her perform, waiting to see if anyone overtakes her — er, them. Apparently, years ago, when Nastia’s dad tied for a gold at the Olympics, he and the other athlete shared gold, but they don’t do that anymore. So bizarre. Just listening to the commentators talk about it — they are confused themselves.

All right. Lots of standing around, judges’ huddles, waiting, blah blah.

Nastia gets the silver.

Okay. From what I can understand, there can be no judges on the panel representing any of the competing countries. That potentially creates situations where you can have much less experienced judges scoring the athletes. Apparently, the judge from Australia, gave Nastia a large deduction for a minor error and the Chinese girl a rather minor deduction for a much larger error. The commentators are really pounding that point home. I take their word for it. I’m just your embedded reporter here, not a gymnastics analyst. To me, both girls made what looked to be minor errors. I just don’t have the knowledge to know how different errors should be judged. To my eye, Nastia’s looked, ultimately, more refined. So. When they line the judges’ scores up — in the tie here — throw out the high and low, they are still tied. So the next lowest score of each athlete was thrown out — and Nastia’s next lowest was lower than the Chinese girl’s. Tim Daggett, gymnastics commentator, is adamant about Nastia’s routine being better and that the Australia judge just didn’t judge it correctly or didn’t have the knowledge to even do so.

Here’s what My Manic Boyfriend, Bela, had to say:

DIS NEW SCORING CREATE A MURKY SITUATION. NOBUDY UNNERSTAN DUH SCORING ANYMORE. PEOPLE AT HOME DON’T UNNDERSTAN. AND VHAT ISS HAPPENING ON DUH FLOOR? IT’S RIDICULOUS. GYMNASTICS ARE REFUSING TO GIVE OUT TWO GOLDS, TWO SILVERS, OR SOMETHING?? THEY ARE DE SAME SCORE!!

Someone help me. My head hurts and I’m going to bed. And, seriously, if I dream about math tonight, I’m gonna smash some skulls in the morning.

I DON’T UNNERSTAN!

In stark contrast to Michael Phelps, Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt, crowned “The World’s Fastest Man” by winning the 100m last night, acted — quite frankly — like a total jerk. The 6-5 athlete clearly has a stride advantage over the rest of the field, and once he seemed definitively ahead, about 15m from the finish line, he smiled a huge smug smile and outstretched his arms in premature celebration. He finished in 9.69 seconds, a WR time to be sure, but how much faster could he have gone had he not started showboating before his victory was sure?

I mean, here’s an article about it that says it better than I have the energy for right now.

So I’m gonna take another person to task here, mainly because my emotions tend to be all over the map during the Olympics. They just do that to me. With the Olympics, I feel suddenly and surely and deeply. I will root like crazy and oppose like crazy; cheer like crazy and boo like crazy. I’m someone who doesn’t hide from gray areas in “real life”, but I have a hard time seeing grays — during the Olympics. And again, this situation has something to do with priorities — to me. Just like I don’t understand or embrace what appeared to be the priorities of Nastia Liukin’s mom, I don’t understand this guy at all.

Because, bottom line, I look at what he did like this:

He sacrificed even greater achievement for his own ego glorification.

Premature ego glorification at that. In that one act, he showed me that his ego was more important than his achievement. Bigger than his achievement. To me, he personifies the opposite of a champion. An even more astonishing result was really his for the taking, but he stole that time from sport and squandered it on himself. Basking, again, prematurely. As he was literally coasting to victory, God help me, I would have liked nothing better than for one of the other runners to pass him and steal the win from him — because I instantly became opposed to him. I was yelling AT him. Within 7 seconds. Seriously. I want anyone and everyone to beat him from here on out. Coasting his way to victory when runners behind him were giving their all, running their guts out, is a slap in the face to each of them. The gesture says, “I have contempt for you and your efforts.” It demeans other athletes. It demeans sport. The posturing, the chest-pounding, the flag-draping, the self-centered celebration. Sickening to me. Truly.

Usain Bolt may be The World’s Fastest Man, but, to me, he will never be a champion.

Michael Phelps. 8 gold medals in one Olympic games. A truly spectacular achievement. Something for the ages — that we all got the privilege to witness. Wow.

I mean, there’s really nothing else but WOW. Forgive me for saying this, but it was basically sports on an orgasmic level.

On top of that — on top of feeling proud and breathless that “our guy” did that — I feel proud of him as a person, a young man, because of the way he’s comported himself throughout this competition. Maybe that makes me sound like a shriveled gammie; I don’t care. I loved how, when the various relays were won, he would always point to the greatness of his fellow swimmers, to the team effort of it all. When asked by Bob Costas about former Aussie Olympian Ian Thorpe’s comments that “he couldn’t do it; it was unlikely,” etc., I love how he said, “I welcome all comments. They all motivate me.” I loved how he always found his mom and sister in the stands after his awards ceremonies and gave them his flowers. I loved how he and his teammates always huddled after winning, their heads down, long arms around each other, murmuring words of praise. I loved how he fought — graciously — against he crazed juggernaut of his own rapturous press. I loved how, last night, in his final gold medal ceremony, you could finally see the glimmer of tears in his eyes. He didn’t need to hold back anymore; the task was done. He rejoiced almost modestly when he won individual races, but celebrated wildly when he won relays with his team. He’s just impressed the heck out of me, in every possible way. For me, the word “champion” doesn’t mean a lot unless there’s some sort of depth behind the achievement, some kind of grounded inner core, some sense of humility even in the face of your own external greatness. Michael Phelps has that. He’s got it all.

Congratulations, again, to a champion in every way.

Started the list here.

Now more to add:

~ Bela Karolyi, for being so maniacally enthusiastic and impossible to understand. When he speaks, I feel like I’m listening to the rat-a-tat-tat of rain on a tin roof or the spray from a machine gun. I love that he wears Hush Puppies because he seems the exact opposite of someone who would wear Hush Puppies. And the exact opposite of Bob Costas. Their pairing is sheer broadcasting genius.

~ Bob Costas, for being so durned smooth and professional and for good-naturedly participating in The Bob and Bela Show.

~ Tennis player Rafael Nadal, just ’cause. He’s in the final. It’s either gold or silver for him. GO, RAFA! (We are on a nickname basis, yes, thankyou.)

~ Swimmer Ryan Lochte, gold medalist in the 100m backstroke, for having his suit tied too loosely and still winning the event. Even though he defeated another Olympic crush, Aaron Piersol. And even though his suit didn’t come off entirely. Drat!

~ And my pet, the beefy peach, of course. I can’t wait to show her the new habit-trail I got her — and the hook I put on her cage to hang her Olympic medal. (Yes, I know it should be “from which to hang,” but I think that sounds ass-y here. My opinion.)

But them’s some tony digs, for sure.

Earlier, Bob Costas interviewed Nastia and Shawn in the studio, with the girls sandwiched on the couch next to Bela Karolyi.

And I couldn’t help but notice: The beefy peach’s feet didn’t even touch the floor. It was a heart-melting moment for me.

So because I’m completely smitten with her chipmunk adorability, I think she needs another somepin’ somepin’ for her cage. I’m pretty fond of this Lincoln Log Cabin for Pocket Pets and Olympic Gymnasts:

In this homey abode, she can tumble about AND recite the Gettysburg Address.

(Just beware of the theater, beefy peach!)