christmas question of the day 11 + 12

Putting two together, or I won’t get them done. All right. I heard one of these questions on the radio. I liked it, so here it is:

Is there something you want for Christmas — under $250 — that you won’t tell anyone you want? If so, why won’t you tell?

For instance, on the show, a pastor called up, said he wants a bottle of wine, but he works with recovering alcoholics, so he won’t say that’s what he wants! I can’t believe that! Tell SOMEONE, man! Maybe NOT the alcoholics, but SOMEONE!

Whew. All right, Tracey, calm down.

Next question. LAST question:

If you could be someone in the story of Jesus’ birth, who would you want to be and why?

“the visited planet”

Some Christmas reflections from one of my absolute favorite Christian writers — Philip Yancey. Oh, how I LOVE him! He speaks to me about the Christian life the way no other modern, Christian author quite can. He’s unabashedly honest; almost uncomfortably so. I mean, this is, after all, the author of a book boldly called “Disappointment with God” — a singular, brilliant book which every Christian should read, because if we’re honest, really, REALLY honest, we have all felt disappointment with God at one time or another. I always feel comforted and encouraged and less alone when I read a Yancey book.

Anyway, right now, I’m reading “The Jesus I Never Knew” and in typical Yancey fashion, he cuts through platitudes and offers a fresh perspective on Christmas that I really needed to hear.

So here are some snippets:

Christmas art depicts Jesus’ family as icons stamped in gold foil, with a calm Mary receiving the tidings of the Anunciation as a kind of benediction. But that is not at all how Luke tells the story. Mary was “greatly troubled” and “afraid” at the angel’s appearance, and when the angel pronounced the sublime words about the the Son of the Most High whose kingdom will never end, Mary had something far more mundane on her mind: But I’m a virgin!

Once, a young unmarried lawyer named Cynthia bravely stood before my church in Chicago and told of a sin we already knew about: we had seen her hyperactive son running up and down the aisles every Sunday. Cynthia had taken the lonely road of bearing an illegitimate child and caring for him after his father decided to skip town. Cynthia’s sin was no worse than any others, and yet, as she told us, it had such conspicuous consequences. She could not hide the result of that single act of passion, sticking out as it did from her abdomen for months until a child emerged to change every hour of every day of the rest of her life. No wonder the Jewish teenager Mary felt greatly troubled; she faced the same prospects even without the act of passion.

In the modern United States, where each year a million teenage girls get pregnant out of wedlock, Mary’s predicament has undoubtedly lost some of its force, but in a closely knit Jewish community in the first century, the news an angel brough could not have been entirely welcome. The law regarded a betrothed woman who became pregnant as an adulteress, subject to death by stoning.

Matthew tells of Joseph magnanimously agreeing to divorce Mary in private rather than press charges, until an angel shows up to correct his perception of betrayal. Luke tells of a tremulous Mary hurrying off to the one person who could possibly understand what she was going through: her relative Elizabeth, who miraculously got pregnant after another angelic anunciation. Elizabeth believes Mary and shares her joy, and yet the scene poignantly highlights the contrast between the two women: the whole countryside is talking about Elizabeth’s healed womb even as Mary must hide the shame of her own miracle.

Today as I read the account of Jesus’ birth I tremble to think of the fate of the world resting of the responses of two rural teenagers. How many times did Mary review the angel’s words as she felt the Son of God kicking against the walls of her uterus? How many times did Joseph second-guess his own encounter with an angel — just a dream — as he endured the hot shame of living amongst villagers who could plainly see the changing shape of his fiancee?

Nine months of awkward explanations, the lingering scent of scandal — it seems that God arranged the most humiliating circumstances possible for his entrance, as if to avoid any charge of favoritism. I am impressed that when the Son of God became a human being he played by the rules, harsh rules: small towns do not treat kindly young boys who grow up with questionable paternity.

That humbles me — how he so humbled himself to be among us, to be one of us.

Later, Yancey gives a perspective that give me chills — the view of the incarnation from the heavenlies:

There is one view of Christmas I have never seen on a Christmas card, probably because no artist could do it justice. Revelation 12 pulls back the curtain to give us a glimpse of Christmas as it must have looked from somewhere far beyond Andromeda: Christmas from the angels’ viewpoint.

The account differs radically from the birth stories in the Gospels. Revelation does not mention shepherds and an infanticidal king; rather, it pictures a dragon leading a ferocious struggle in heaven. A woman clothed with the sun and wearing a crown of 12 stars cries out in pain as she is about to give birth. Suddenly, the enormous red dragon enters the picture, his tail sweeping a third of the stars out of the sky and flinging them to the earth. He crouches hungrily before the woman, anxious to devour her child the moment it is born. At the last second the infant is snatched away to safety, the woman flees into the desert, and all-out cosmic war begins.

I’m chilled when I read that. God, breaching the cosmos, willingly entering TIME as a helpless babe, igniting an unseen battle that rages still.

A long way from “Silent Night,” no? A long, LONG way.

anyone?

Do you know it’s something like 51 days to the Winter Olympics in Torino?!!

(Is anyone else keeping track here?)

How we will survive the wait? How will we be able to STAND watching Michelle Kwan compete again after she’s been robbed in 2 previous Olympics?! My fingernails aren’t long enough to survive all that biting and chewing. It’s too much, I tell ya. TOO MUCH.

She lost to a Tara and then a Sarah. So let’s hope there’s no one named Clara or Farrah or Cher-a or Zara. That spells doom for poor Michelle. And I can’t believe that I actually think that. That I actually think if some chippy skates out onto the ice and the announcer says, “Next skater …. Zara Dooshenko, Ukraine,” I will actually think to myself, “That’s it. It’s over. Michelle is toast.”

Does anyone even know what I’m talking about?

And does anyone care as much as I do?

again, every year

I put this up last year, but I’m struck by this every Christmas. I can’t help it.

Every year at this time, I give birth. Which is miraculous because what you don’t yet know about me is that, for many years now, My Beloved and I have been unable to have children. It has been, simply, the most wrenching, most lingering sorrow of our lives. Even as I share this, I’m astounded that I’m doing so. If you knew how closely I’ve guarded this in my heart, if you knew how long it took me ever to tell anyone, if you knew how much the shame from this has weighed us down, you might be astounded, too.

But nevertheless, every year at this time, I give birth.

“For unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given ….”

Unto you and, even, graciously, unto me, and My Beloved.

So come let us adore Him.

The One who came to fill, overflowing, the bereft and empty places of our hearts.

Your Child.

And my Child.

And our Child.

christmas question of the day 10

So lovely reader Sal has inspired me again. No, that’s not true. It’s more than inspiration — she’s written this whole post, really.

Our Christmas Question of the Day 10 is completely hers, but I think it’s a good’un, so here it is:

Okay – I’ve got a holiday question to ask, if Tracey will permit (I WILL!, ed.):

What is one thing that your family, either present or of origin, does that you’ve never heard of any other family doing?

For example: my husband’s family would give gifts ostensibly from someone outside the family, so that it wasn’t all from “Mom and Dad”. These could include practically anyone – fictional characters, historical figures, present day famous persons, deceased pets…
This could have a hint as to what the present was or not: a Cowboys jersey might come from “Tom Landry”. Or like this year, when middle daughter is getting “The Chronicles of Narnia” from “The Inklings”. I’ve gotten a lot of cookware from “Julia Child” over the years.

So, what’s your unique holiday habit?

Okay. (This is me, Tracey.) First, Sal, I love that tradition. That’s definitely stealable. (Stealable?) 😉

My answer — a couple things, really. When we were little, my parents would hustle us off to bed on Christmas Eve and then wake us up just after midnight. They’d come into our rooms once we were finally dead asleep and whisper excitedly, “Wake up! Wake up! Santa’s come!” We’d groggily rouse ourselves and Dad would take the picture of us waking up. THOSE are some classic pictures. My favorite is one where I’m 8 years old and I’m pulling the covers back to get out of bed and my nightgown is basically twisted up around my neck and I have no idea because I’m not really awake. I am smiling, though, and providing a nice shot of little girl undies.

We just loved this tradition. My parents always played it as if Santa had just been there, as if we could still hear “reindeer paws” if we listened closely enough. It was always a thrilling sensation, as if we were getting away with something, being up in the dead of night like that, opening gifts under the glowing tree. It was magical. Even when we were older and in high school, we begged our parents to do it still. And they did.

(Plus, we slept in later on Christmas morning, so there was method to my parents’ madness.)

Another thing they did — my dad would devise codes for the “To” part of the packages, a different code for each child. But we had to crack the code in order to figure out which presents were ours. Kept us from shaking packages, which I know drove him crazy.

One year the 3 of us were in an absolute panic because Christmas Eve was 2 days away and we hadn’t cracked the code. He took pity on us and finally gave us a hint — which he usually didn’t do. He was playfully ruthless about the Christmas Codes and expected us to figure them out.

We finally figured that one out — at the last second. That was a great tradition, too. We had to work together, so it kept us from fighting. We didn’t know which ones were ours right away, so it kept us from shaking ’em.

Way to go, Dad!

go carts

So I left the grocery store with my cart of stuff today. I wheeled it over to my car, unloaded, and took my cart back to the cart lineup …. because, yes, I’m just that good.

I don’t abandon my cart to take up a whole parking space.

I don’t give it a halfhearted push to the middle of nowhere.

I don’t leave it in lonely limbo between the spaces so some hapless shopper can ding her car door on it.

NO, people! I put it back where it belongs. Because of the goodness. That …. and, well, I’m a wee obsessive about it, too.

You see, in high school I worked at Price Club/now Costco, and I was one of those cart picker-uppers and all cart picker uppers HATED beyond reason those people who abandoned their carts in the nether regions of that enormous parking lot. These people were always bestowed special endearments by cart picker uppers. As I recall, most of them sounded suspiciously like “lazy motherf***er!” growled under sweaty breath in the 100 degree+ heat as the cart picker upper hiked a long, sullen hike to retrieve the lost cart.

So, you see, as a sign of longstanding solidarity with generations of embittered cart picker uppers, I always, always take my cart back.

And I did it today, too. Pushed it in there real nice like. Then from the end of the cart lineup, I heard a thick, Slavic accent bark, “Be careful!”

Startled, I walked towards the voice. There, around the corner from the carts, sat an old, wrinkled, gumdrop of a woman. She scowled up at me from her perch. I was quite sure her face knew no other expression and the sight of me only made it worse.

“BE CAREFUL!” she growled again.

Now, look. I hadn’t shoved the carts THAT hard. And I certainly lacked the requisite skills to make the line of carts GO AROUND THE CORNER AND HIT OLD LADY GUMDROP, which apparently was her concern.

Still, I tried to be conciliatory.

“I’m sorry, ma’am.”

She did NOT like this.

“Sorry?! NO SORRY!”

“Well, I am. I didn’t hit you or any of your belongings, did I?”

Of course, I didn’t. In response, Old Lady Gumdrop “hmmphed” and folded her arms more tightly across her huge, gumdrop chest. I shuddered as I watched her breasts curve slowly over them.

“No. Sorry.” She spat them out as separate sentences.

“I don’t know what else to say, ma’am. I’m sorry you’re upset.”

“NOOO!! WHY YOU SAY SORRY?! WHY?!?”

Good question, Gummy. I was now ….. annoyed. I narrowed my eyes at her.

“You know, ma’am, you should accept an apology when one is offered. They don’t come around that often.”

She heaved herself up. Her breasts stayed down. Old Lady Gumdrop waddled off away from me, the whole time angrily muttering, “No. No. NO. NOO.”

I sighed.

And … I admit it.

I gave those carts an extra shove as I walked away.

who’da thunk it?

THE SAN DIEGO CHARGERS BEAT THE INDIANAPOLIS COLTS TODAY!!

Goodbye 13-0. Hello 13-1. Sorry, guys. Someone was bound to do it. I was kinda hoping it’d be us, but I didn’t really think it WOULD be.

Oh, I cheered and coughed, and then, dammit, I coughed some more.

But it was worth it.

What a game. What a GREAT game.

christmas question of the day 9

Well, I can still do the Christmas question of the day, if nothing else! We’ve missed a few days here, so I think I’ll do a total of 12 days of questions.

Here’s Question 9 — one I came up with because I want to know:

Have you ever peeked at your Christmas presents BEFORE Christmas? If you’ve ever been an accomplished Christmas sneak, what were your methods? Did you get caught? What were the consequences?

C’mon. ‘Fess up.

I’ll start.

One Christmas when I was about 10, I poked around in my brother’s room, of all places, and found his present to me. Later, I STUPIDLY let it slip at the dinner table — do not ask me HOW or WHY; I cannot remember — and my brother nearly burst into tears. After I apologized to my brother, my mom punished me by marching me over to the Christmas tree and telling me I had to choose one of my presents to give back. I cried and cried as I tried to pick which one of the shiny wrapped packages I’d miss the least. Naturally, I gave her back the smallest one. I never knew what it was. I still don’t.

Seemed kinda harsh, maybe.

Another story:

A friend of mine was such an expert Christmas sneak when she was little that she’d UNWRAP already wrapped presents, look at them, and wrap them right back up. She was good at the rewrap, so no one ever knew.

That’s skill, man.

oh, this is getting BORING

Well, everyone …. I’ve relapsed with the pneumonia. I’ve been struggling with this for over a month now. I don’t think I took it that seriously, so now — it’s baaaack!

I know the content here has been light, but I’m just not able to focus too well. I’m so sorry.

overheard in san diego

Well, I know I’m blatanly ripping off the Overheard in New York people, but I have to share this:

My Beloved and I were sitting in a booth Saturday morning, having breakfast at one of our “spots.” A few moments after we arrived, three women were seated behind us. One was a new mother, toting her new baby carryall basket thingy, complete with new baby inside. She proceeded to take him out and make him “stand” on the table for her poor, captive audience to “ooh” and “ahh” over.
I couldn’t see this since my back was to them, but I was getting the play-by-play.

But I could hear THIS, clear as day:

Friend: Wow! He looks like a little monkey!!

Mom: WHAT?!

Friend: Well, you know, in a GOOD way.

I confess — I turned around to look at the wee babe.

He DID look like a little monkey.

And NOT in a good way.