the negotiator

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BANSHEE BOY: So. Tee Tee. Ve meet agin.
ME: It seems we do.
BB: Vhat is dees offer you heef for me?
ME: Well, it’s like this, booboo. Your butt smells and you need a diaper change.
BB: Dis, I do not beleef.
ME: You’re 3 months old. Your sense of smell is underdeveloped.
BB: Vhat is counteroffer?
ME: What?? I don’t have one. You’re supposed to have one. That’s the offer: diaper change or rash.
BB: Is rash like cruddle kep on my head?
ME: Kind of, except it’s on your butt.
BB: Vell, den. We heef a deal.
ME: The elastic pants are coming off, bub.
BB: What feex you have for Polish sausage arms?
ME: That’s God’s job, kid.
BB: Mebbe I can negotiate with heem?
ME: Yeah. Good luck with that.
BB: You geef me much to tink about, Tee Tee.
ME: Great. I’m covering up your woowoo so you don’t pee on me.
BB: Vedy gud. Hokay. Dis is part vhere I scream and cry.
ME: Yeah, me too. (pause with screaming) Okay. All done.
BB: Gud. Until next time, Tee Tee.
ME: Yes, until next time, booboo.