sentence challenge: “the day after my 9th birthday …”

(Write it quickly was the only parameter given me.)

The day after my 9th birthday, my father sat me down in the living room, heaved a leaden sigh, and began enumerating several points from a piece of paper:

1) that, unfortunately, it was now his job to tell me that over the last few months I had become “too chubby,”

2) that he and mom had agreed this was no longer simply baby fat, since I was, after all, nine,

3) that mother was deeply disappointed I no longer fit into “the proper size for my age,”

4) that, additionally, he’d seen how much chocolate mint monkey cake I’d eaten just the day before — my piece and my brother’s, with ice cream, and,

5) that, “therefore and in summary,” he was putting me on a supervised liquid diet and he was to be the supervisor and it was all because my parents loved me.